I guess this is the right place to post this, even though most of the people in here like anal sex right? I wonder if I should place this in women's issues or something instead? Eh I'll try here first. here's the situation. I have a "friends with benefits" guy who, although I don't really want a relationship with, is REALLY good in bed. Rare to find a guy who makes me feel THAT good, usually the best sex of my life has been with women. But he makes me have like at LEAST 5 or 6 orgasms every time. So...even though I am not emotionally attached....I don't really want it to end just yet? At least not until I find someone else..... The one problem, that is now building up more and more...he really REALLY wants anal sex. Why???? I'm like, really really tight still, isn't that enough? arghhh But he wont stop trying to get me to do it. And....honestly, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO. There is nothing about it that turns me on even the slightest bit. And I know it will hurt. And most of my pleasure comes from the clit anyway....and the gspot can be reached through my pussy thanx. So whats the point?? Once, when we were both rollin on X, I let him put two fingers up there. And you know what? Even when I relaxed enough so that it didn't hurt anymore, nothing about it felt sexy, it just kinda grossed me out. And then when he took them out? It hurt for like ten minutes after that! So, if when I was THAT FRIKIN RELAXED two fingers hurt, how could I possibly take a dick up there EVER?? how will that not really hurt?????????? I've really tried hard to be open-minded about this, but I don't think I can do it!!!! I really hate this because its the first time in my life I feel like I"m not pleasing my lover, you know? Its like why does have have to want the ONLY THING I don't wanna do, SO much??? :-( I remembered hearing once on that show, "talk sex with sue johansen" about how she had a section on anal sex. So I went, hoping to find info on positions that would hurt less for women, etc. But although she had some of that, mostly it was just risks, which made me more nervous! I don't want to have tissues tearing up there!!!!!! Or a crack my rectum! Yuck! Arghhh I don't wanna have anything up my ass!!! If other people wanna do that, go for it, but I just DON'T! I dunno why I"m letting this guy who I dont' even care about make me feel so inadequate, but bleh. I dunno. Its just I'm thinking its either gonna have to be one of two things: I do it, or we're done. Which sucks cause the sex has been BEYOND awsome so far. But no matter how much I try to relax and get into it, when it gets right down to it, I REALLY REALY DON'T WANT IT. *sigh* thanx for listening to me vent!
Then don't do it, there isnt' any sex in the world that is good enough for the guy to be able to pressure you into something that you don't want to do.
That's too bad, Lilah. He might force you to give up the sex. I understand how we guys can get fixated on something that we want sexually, but it's not fair for him to impose that on you. Good luck.
let me ask you this about your sex friend. is this guy, educated about what he is doing when it comes to anal sex? from what your saying, he does not sound so. one major thing you must not do is listen to sue johansen... she is a hack! you need sound information. get a copy of jack morin's book "anal pleasuer and health," jack also has an instructional movie by the same title. there are also another great book that deal with the subject. one of them is entitle "the woman's guide to anal sex," this book is by a woman who loves anal sex and she is legit sex therpist. her name escapes me right now. i want to say it's ducky dolittle, but i know thats wrong. there is a dvd by this woman (damn whats her name!) too, same title as the book. both of these books and dvds A number 1 quality! i would suggest that both you and your sex friend sit down and go over this together. if he won't do this with you, well... i'm afraid you will need re-evaluate your relationship with him.
I doubt he'll actually break up with you over it. He might talk a big game, but at the end of the day no guy's gonna turn down a friends-with-benefits situation. Anal sex CAN hurt, and if you don't want it you're more likely to be tense, which'll make it hurt more. I'm all in favor of trying things, but the problem here is that he sounds like he REALLY likes anal sex - and that means you're not gonna be able to say "Okay, I'll do it once but not regularly." You do it once and he'll expect it more. (He might deny this, but he will be lying.) I think you should be firm with him: tell him outright that anal sex is off the table and you're just not gonna do it, so if it's that important to him, well...it's been fun. Call his bluff, basically.
sue johansen isnt a hack, but she isnt exactly pro-anal to say the least like waas mentioned earlier, it sounds like he isnt educated about anal sex. you need lots and lots and lots of lube ask him if you can do anal on him, if he wants anal so bad, and buy a dildo or a strapon :X but seriously, if you dont want to do it, dont. tell him flat out it doesnt interest you and you know that it will hurt you because you arent interested in it. just say no to anal if hes going to be an ass about it, great sex aint worth somebody who makes you feel like shit for not being interested in somethign that a lot of people arent interested in
If he likes anal as much as me, there would not be a bluff. I'd say "ok, later". There's other girls out there that will do it, so there's no need to be stuck in any relationship or "friends with benefits" when you are not being satisfied.
