what behavior makes a relationship intimate? (besides sex, which doesn't always equal an initmate relationship) i am just curious what behavior sets apart an initmate relationship with a close friendship? and if you wanted to create some or more intimacy in a relationship, what would you do or how would you behave to do this? thanks for the input!
it's about closeness, but too many people see closeness as being close bodywise, which is only part of it. for me, being in an intimate relationship would mean being close and comfy in both mind and body
thanks for your post. my question is what does 'closeness' mean? what behavoir constitutes closeness? i mean we talk about personal stuff with our best friends, what makes it different when you do it as a partner in a relationship?
It means sharing things with someone that make you vulnerable. Having a special connection that you do not have with anyone else. There are certain things that your partner might know about you, that no one else knows, and you don't want others to know. That means that you trust your partener to be supportive of you not judge you, love you (unconditionally) and respect you enough to keep your secrets. Intimacy issues are one of the main reasons people end up splitting up. That is why it is vitally important not to let others intrude in your relationship, like someone's parents, or a close friend. My boyfriend used to tell his parents everything before he told me, or if he told me. I would always find out later usually through someone else. This hurt me so badly, until I shared it with him and his parents and they explained this concept to him. That I'm his family now and he needs to be sharing these things with me.
thanks for your post. that helps me some. i agree intimacy splits up alot of relationships b/c it is closely tied with communicating. and my thing is, how can you really be intimate if you can't specifically define what it is.. and i really thought i would get more response to this thread (after reading about all of the wonderful relationships out there ) and it is making me think it harder to come by and have than even i thought. i don't know, i am just trying to learn stuff to help me in my relationships..
imo,the definition of intimacy is quite different from each other.sometimes u felt that you were intimating with someone,but he/she didnt fell that.the deifinition of mine is just in my mind,if i feel we are intimacy i would be treat him/her like it.
You can say that again, it definitely seems hard to come by! Intimacy, to me, is almost paradoxical. It almost seems ordinary, those things that you share with you significant other; secrets, thoughts, everyday occurences that each experience, and so on... I've shared many things about myself with "normal" friends, and I would still call them intimate conversations; I'm giving up something personal to them. But with a "lover".... the accumulation of personal knowledge takes on an almost new meaning. It's much more scary to a lot of people to have anyone know so much about you.... they don't want to invest so much when it might not work out, so they hold back, maintaining the status quo... and to quote high fidelity, "that's suicide, in tiny increments" And I guess that's my first impression of this subject, haven't really thought about it too much, to be honest, but it's a good thread! It goes great with a cup of coffee
I feel most intimate with my bf after sex when we're just lying there cuddling each other and can hear each other deep breathing and i say i love him n he says he loves me 2.
