I don't know what to title this.

Last night I had one of the worst panic attacks of my life.
I'd put this in mental health but I don't know any of those people.

I was just sitting at play practice and was hit with a wave of heat and fear. Instantly, I said to myself "You are fine. focus on your breath, you are ok, you've felt this before, it will pass" which usually works to deter panic. But not this time. My perceptions instantly shifted: Instant tunnel vision, sounds blurred, nausea, heart pounding out of my chest, sweat pouring and the overwhelming fear that I was about to die.

I stood up calmly, took someone aside and said "I'm going to freak out, I need to leave immediately."

I left and went home and curled into a ball in bed, shaking uncontrolably, screaming with fear, heart about to explode. My girlfriend tried to relax me, but nothing helped. I almost called 911 because I literally thought I was going to die, either by my heart exploding or throwing myself out of a window. It's terrifying not being able to have any comfort, or feeling like there is no place you would want to exist, nothing but your own mind going fucking crazy. It took me nearly an hour to calm down. I haven't experienced fear like this in quite some time and all today I've just been on the brink of flipping out, fearful it was going to happen again.

It's fucked too, because I still came here and posted completely coherently but in my head I was literally about to end things.

It's just sooo unbelievably frustrating because I've made so much effort to get well, I've stopped smoking, drinking alcohol, drinking caffeine, everything. Startied eating well, started exercising. But all of that was worthless lastnight because this panic can just side swipes me without warning.

Bah, this turned into a huge rant but I just needed to transfer the things in my mind into something more tangible.

 

Have you stopped taking any meds recently. I stopped taking an anti-depressent a month back, and withing 2 days, I started going absolutly crazy, horrible side effects suiccidal. I never even considered it could have been realated to the meds until i talked to my doctor.

I know how it feels to just be freaking out trying to calm down, but just having absolutly no control over your body what-so-ever. It truly is the worst feeling in the world. I hope you doing better and it dosent come back.

 

That sounds horrible. I've never had an actual panic attack so I can't relate, but I do hear that they are like that. I guess it's really bad for some people, and I've known some that have even had to stop driving because of them. (In case they have one while on the road.)

But how come you stopped smoking and starting doing all of those things? I wasn't around to know that you were having any kind of problems? If you were having worse panic attacks before maybe, and you thought it could be because of smoking?

Anyway, I'm not sure what to tell you since I don't know the whole situation, but it sounds like you need to see your doctor right away. He may be able to prescribe you something, or to at least get to the route of your problem maybe. Are you taking any medicines? My mom just started taking an anti-deppresant yesterday, she's already on xanax. And last night she had a panic attack in bed. (probably not as worse as yours, but minor.) She isn't going to take those celexa pills anymore. So anyway, update me and maybe I can help you more.

 

Wow im sorry to hear all of that.

just a few weeks ago i have a crazy freakout after smoking some pot, it felt like a mushroom trip with uncontrollable shaking and i also thought i was going to die that night.

we smoked and started playing guitar hero, idk why i freaked out.. we smoked in the freezing cold outdoors. my pot wasnt laced because ive smoked the exact same nug the time before and was fine.

anyway i ended up laying in bed confessing all my sins like not going to church in years and everything because i really thought iw as gunna die. thats such a bad feeling.

so im sorry that you felt that way.

 

sorry to hear that.. i've had some bad panic attacks before from getting seriously too high by myself and no one around to make ya go.. "yea.. everything is cool".. i'd get the shakes and feel cold as hell.. i'd end up under piles of blankets in a fetal position.. and usually shit would be goin through my head anything from severe paranoia.. to thinking my shaking was gonna get so bad that i would seizure... its crazy and it really really sucks..

 

were you at home?

 

wait so were you high at the time? im a little confused or was this just a panic attack that has nothing to do with weed?

 

that happens to me when I cant breath, like my lungs wont open. But I usually just wait and im fine, but it last for a while and it intense.

 

Thanks for the support, guys.

No, I wasn't high at the time.
I stopped smoking a few months back because my anxiety was getting so intense. It was like what joker said, I'd get waaayy to high and then just start to panic. So I stopped to focus on getting my mind in check.
And no, I didn't recently stop taking meds. I'm trying desperately to get myself well and stable and calm just by using meditation and dietary changes and exercise but this was just an isolated experience that completely came out of no where (well, i'm sure it came from SOMEWHERE, but I need to search hard for that origin)

I feel a bit better now, I've just been on the brink of panic because I'm fearful of panic (It's a weird cycle of thought).

But again, thanks for the support guys!

 

I had panic attacks for a while. They went away on their own. It was just a really stressful time in my life, I think.

But just because mine went away doesn't mean yours will. I really think you should see a doctor, Stella. You might not need any medication or anything, but doctors are good at figuring out if you do or not, so why not get an opinion? You don't even have to take her advice if you don't want to.

Good luck, honey!

 

I have had them, its one of the reasons i smoke. try getting a worry stone (with a hole so you can wear it) and keep it with you. that helped me when i couldn't smoke. It can be really tough, no one believed me because by the time i got to the hospital i was fine.

I would definately get a nice worry stone. gives you something solid to concentrate on.

 

I just want to say I love you
And make sure you feel it everyday
'Cause if today had been my last chance
It's just something I wanted to say

 

I don't know what song that is, but that was sweet

I'm feeling a lot better. I hung out with my grandmother and she always has the best advice. I still feel depersonalized, but I'm sure it will pass. Time changes everything so I just need to be patient.

And I am currently seeing a doctor (psychiatrist) and have been doing cognitive behavioral therapy sinnncceee September-ish. I called her on Friday night and she reassured me that I'm doing everything I can and I have an appointment with her tomorrow.

But thanks again to everyone that showed me love and support. I really, really, really appreciate it

 

tis no song...just the music of the show's heart....ok I lied, Sirens by the String Cheese Incident (keith moseley I believe).

glad to hear things are improving it. Maybe you need a vacation towards the Rocky Mountains