Ways to simplify and slow down your life?

I was just checking out the do you have a job thread and thought I'd start a new one in a similar vein asking for people's input on how to go about changing your life in a way that helps you slow down, make ends meet, and in general living a more fulfilling and happy life.




Things that have worked for me.

Cooking more of my own food. No brainer but when you work a lot this can actually be tough. I know I worked three jobs at one point.

Go vegetarian. Saves a ton of money! Meat is really expensive.

Go organic. Might seem counter intuitive but if you eat healthier you'll pay the doctor less.

Good clean water. LOTS of it!

Get rid of health insurance. The shit they give to you is most likely going to make you MORE sick than anything. There are TONS of natural alternatives to things like antibiotics and such that are more effective and much nicer on your body. You'll also begin to build your immune system back up from not taking antibiotics every time you have an ear ache. Trauma is about the only thing I'd use medical facilities for and even then you have to be careful.

Get the fuck out of debt. Still in process for me but there are some things that really help. Such as credit card companies will settle at about 50% after six months of no payment. They'll want it all at once but if you prepare and are looking for a way out that's not a bad one. And if you can't pay they'll go to collections at a bit higher than the original settlement. Not a bad alternative.

Part of the financial... don't buy anything you can't pay for. Unless you absolutely have to it's just a bad idea and this is how you'll basically get fucked. You're somebody's bitch as soon as you owe them money.

If you absolutely HAVE to go to college pay for it as you go. Go to a state school or community college or online school. Learn what you have to and go that way. Some places you need a degree but a lot of places you don't and the difference between pay if you have one and if you don't isn't usually, in my experience, enough to offset the amount of debt you're gonna be in if you have a degree. A lot of jobs have short classes to get you certified in stuff, like CNA's and things like that. Work a year or two before you go to college to figure out what you want and how you operate on your own in the world.

Find a cheap place to live. Renting's fine. Living in the "hood" isn't always such a bad thing you might learn something good about yourself and the people you share the earth with.

Get a cheap USED car if you can or better yet don't get a car if you don't need one. They're one of the single biggest wastes of money you'll ever come across. It would also take out your insurance costs. Lower a lot of your premiums on insurance too. Are you really expecting to kill an entire family in their porshe careening into the neighbors mansion if you get into an accident?

Once you begin to get your feet under you a bit, or if you start life without any debt, work part time. I'd say this is the biggest thing before working for yourself that can help you out. Take more time to enjoy life. Walk more, sleep more, fuck more... whatever. If you don't need to uphold benefits and get ahead why are you slaving?

Do what you love. If you really love to do something odds are other people will like to have you do it for them for money. Play music? Get paid for it. Like to give massages? Get certified. Simple stuff like that that most people don't really tell you about. It's out there if you look for it. Put yourself out and you'll be amazed. Also if you want to start your own thing already having a part time job and then doing your thing on the side is a perfect way to transition.

I'd better end this as it's turned into a huge post.

 

Interesting thread...I disagree about a couple of things though.

- Health insurance: it's there for the trauma. A couple of times in your life, you're likely to have an accident and need serious medical attention. If you don't have insurance in those times, you could be absolutely ruined financially.

- College is known as "good debt" to money planning geeks. In other words, even if you have to go into debt for it, a) it's low-interest debt and b) you'll make it back and more with the job your college education gets you. (My experience is the opposite of yours, jtnyman.) I think it's kinda lame that people with a college education have so many better opportunities, but that's life.

But I like a lot of the rest of your ideas!

I would add: Go paperless as much as you can. All my bills are paid automatically through the internet, and I almost never get any mail of any kind. I went to a lot of trouble to get off junk mail lists (look it up on the internet for tips), and it's wonderful to see my mailbox empty except for fun stuff like Netflix.

 

disagree away. I love discussion. And totally this is only what works for me. Perhaps I should have said college definitely isn't the only option.

I agree with the paperless thing totally. Plus if you schedule your payments you don't have to worry about paying them, ie not forget them. Sounds simple but late fees add up.

Just out of curiosity what do you do?

Also you'd have to basically have surgery for it to add up much beyond a thousand dollars. Getting stitched up or having a bone set really doesn't cost that much... maybe a grand or something. Depending on what they use to check you out. Stay away from MRI or CT scans! They really would put a hurt on your bank.

And with your degree you're assuming that you actually, get a job (in your field even), and even then the cost is pretty high with a lot of the jobs out there. Dress like this. Behave like this. Don't do that. Example: The last job I had I worked with adults with developmental disabilities and I was expected to make them do certain things and I found a situation unethical and was fired for it. Before that I applied for several management positions which I actually turned down (and they said also I wasn't right for the job) because of the way you need to act in certain situations. There was a price higher than money to pay for that degree I got.

But again you've said your experience has been different. I'm curious if you'd like to share.

 

I'm a college student

lol

so I have good reason to disagree with you about it - if you're right, holy crap am I wasting a lot of money!

Yeah, I have everything scheduled. And a sugar daddy - that helps too.

 

doh! I edited my last post sorry now it says more. what are you studying?

 

I'm an English major.

My boyfriend is older than me, and he's got one of those suit jobs that makes him a lot of money...there's no question that a college degree is required for those kinds of jobs. And the thing is, they're pretty easy and they pay well. All his friends have those jobs too, and some of those guys (no offense, bf's friends!) are IDIOTS - but they're idiots with degrees.

I think it depends on what your goals are. We choose specifically to live "on the grid". We like to have money because we like traveling. And, um, HBO. But if money's not as big a priority, you could be happier with a different kind of job that doesn't involve wearing a suit and doing things that are basically (no offense, honey) stupid and useless all day.

 

cool thread.


luckily here in the uk we get free healthcare so that's one less thing to worry about.

people keep saying that i should get a job part-time, but i don't want the money and i value my free time too much- why the hell would i want to spend hours in a crap chain store when i could be recording music at home? that'll probably change when i move out, but hey... i'll enjoy it while it lasts

 

Actually, here's another thing that's really made my life happier: I refuse to do anything on Sundays. Errands, cleaning, that kind of stuff has to be done on other days. On Sunday, if I feel like watching nature specials, posting on this board, smoking weed and sucking dick all day (which is exactly what I want to do today!) then that's what I'm gonna do.

 

haha good stuff! I love it all. And actually that's one of my things is that you really DON'T need a degree to rake it in. The last gig I played, heads up mrkite, I made $150 an hour... not too bad eh? And the best musicians I've ever heard most certainly didn't have degrees. Well you're from Boston right MollyBoston? You know about Berklee right? Well a friend of mine went there a semester or a year or something and one of his professors said, while making 60-70k as a prof, that he could make 2-3 times that amount of money gigging. My friend now plays venues like red rocks and opens for Chicago.

I'm actually not very good at being lazy and I have to admit I've had a little help from a sugar mama. Interestingly enough she's the one that practically nailed my ass to the house so I would be at home. And I've needed it because not too long before I was doing crazy shit like working three jobs and stuff and I'd never really taken time to air out.

And totally admittedly I want something else from life. I simply can't do that corporate thing. It's just not in me. So in my spare time I learn about stupid and useless things like how to wire a guitar pedal with long term electronic goals like solar and hydrogen energy units for homes cars... etc. haha couldn't resist

I also record some and play guitar and sing. I'm a certified reiki master. I have experience in the direct care field/mental health. I have educational experience. I have viticultural experience. I have food and beverage experience. I have retail experience. I have landscaping experience. I have experience as a sound and light tech. I have administrative supervisory experience. I have construction experience. I have automotive experience.... Let's just say I'm not too worried about income.

I'm playing with you a little bit MollyBoston so please don't be offended. The point I'm trying to make is that there are options, always options. And I'm grateful for the experience and opportunities I gained from school. And I know that I can go where people without degrees can't. I respect that. But I also realize the worth of that world is simply what everybody puts on it. The most money I've ever made is playing music. And while I studied some I don't have a degree in music.

And seriously there's nothing wrong with school or paying for health care if you want to do that. Life is what you make of it. Just have fun. Enjoy. Fuck around on the internet and suck dick, it's all good.

I'm really enjoying this conversation. Thanks for posting both of you.

by the way what do you want to do with the english degree? I studied english for a while but my highschool told me it was a useless major, what a jackass. like Justice, Peace and Conflict Studies (my BA) had more legs haha right.

 

"living in the 'hood' is not such a bad idea..."

yeah, right.

dude ive lived in the nitty gritty of philly (aka killadelphia,) Atlantic City (the tenth most violent city in america,) Detroit, and LA (skid row.) and guess what? it sucks. Its not only highly dangerous, you are exposed to things like disease, racism, hardcore drugs, std's, its a frickin' nightmare.

 

while i am not trying to discredit your experiences nunitn, i disagree with you. i live in said hood... granted, it's not inner city, and it's really not bad compared to a lot of cities i've been in. but stuff does happen. it's certainly more experiential than living in a suburb (oh god gag me with a rodent).

i simply prefer to live where things aren't so fake safe, where people try to keep up with the joneses. i would rather face the "dangers" of the hood than the more subtle dangers of losing my soul to the corporate monsters. at least in the "hood" things are real. there's less bullshit. people are who they are. i respect that.

plus, fear feeds off fear. violence is based on fear. if you do not fear violence but accept that it is an aspect of this experience, and if you have no fear of the actions it may involve, it doesn't matter. of course theoretically is always harder than reality, but for me it works.

 

Of course you're not offending me! It's a fun conversation. I think we could sum it up this way:

"College: good for some, not as important for others."

which sounds about right.

Berklee is an awesome school. Those kids are amazing at music.

(But good God, man, where are you supposed to learn how to funnel a beer without college?)

I don't know, I debate between wanting to be a high school teacher, and wanting to just go into the suit world like my guy did.

My impression is that employers care about the name of the college you went to, and maybe your grades, but they don't care as much about what you studied. (That's what I've been told, anyway. They'd better be right, because my English degree is gonna be...useless. lol)

 

I like your summary.

lol funneling beer eh... yeah I was wondering when you were going to bring that up. the social element of college is definitely pretty cool. And I'm a little bitter too because I went to a small Christian University in Virginia ugh... seemed like a good idea at the time.... I'm not a fan. I actually went home (grew up in VT) to party. I was straight as an arrow when I was younger. Virgin till I was 24 (that was mostly about the women I was dating... what do you expect from a christian college... i'm not bitter....*grumbles*), I smoked pot for the first time right before I went to college. Drank for the first time christmas break of my freshman year when I went home. Started with bacardi 151. But yeah I'm sure your college experience is a little different than mine was. Although of my close circle of friends every single one of them except one partied so hard they flunked out of school... part of the reason I went away.

As for the job thing I think it totally depends on your employer and what you want to do. A lot places just want to know that you went to college. It's on their clipboard checklist or something... let's see here... shotguns beer, only sucks cock and surfs the internet on Sundays, useless english degree.. yep you're hired. And there's always a need for nice hot (I've seen your profile) highschool english? teachers.

do you write though? or was english just a whimsical kind of thing?

 

I think there are extremes of places to live. I've lived in rough neighborhoods and enjoyed it. As long as you know how to carry yourself you're fine.

As for ideas to live cheaper:

get rid of unnecessary goods and services. I got rid of my cable and a/c and live cheaper and enjoy my time more. TV is very fast paced. When I see it at a friends house occasionally it's weird after not watching it for so long. Ads are really aggressive, it's just weird.

As for the A/C some days are supposed to be hot, some are supposed to be cold. Enjoy the seasons. Once you're accustomed to one temp it's fine, it's getting accustomed that's hard. Going from hot to cold hot to cold.

Granted this isn't always the case for the dead of winter and using the heat... but I would say avoid extremes where appropriate.

 

Aw, thanks. Sure, I write! It's fun and it's free, as long as we're talking about simplifying our lives.

One of the things no one's mentioned yet: as often as you can, do whatever you want. That simplifies things an awful lot! So many people add unneeded stress to their lives because they don't do whatever they want, in a lot of ways. But I get to eat ice cream before dinner if I want to...sit around and watch American Idol without feeling like I ought to be out riding a bike if I want to...go ride a bike instead of catching the premiere of Lost if I want to...it's one of the great things about being free.

There are all these ideas about how we should be spending our time, building a boat or organizing our files. I agree with Floyd that too much TV doesn't do it for me, but some people really like TV and feel guilty about it, like they're wasting their lives. Lions don't do anything but sit around all day, and they seem pretty happy!

And of course this ties into sex as well, and it's tragic that so many people don't explore whatever turns them on, whether it's being gay or they're just afraid to admit that it turns them on to, I don't know, wear a diaper.

 

Fuckin-a woman do you swing?! You're like perfect! lol Totally fucking right on all the way. I need to hear that too actually. I've been stuck a lot in that whole "should" a lot of my life.... And now that I start doing what I want, I've lost pretty much every single relationship I ever had from when I walked that should line. Like seriously almost to a person. It's weird.

It's funny you mentioned that stuff floydianslip6 because I haven't had cable or air for so long I forgot what it was like to have it. I don't even think about it anymore. I definitely don't think I'll be getting rid of my internet anytime soon though. I really noticed the air thing when I visited Austin some years back and it was like 100 degrees outside and like 70 inside. It seriously fucked with my system. And living here in this tiny hood I've never had any problems. The neighbors are way cool. Drunk and high a lot and they get rowdy sometimes but they've really taken us in. We feel like part of the family so to speak. It's been nice.

And MollyBoston seriously that's the perfect fix for pretty much everything... do what you want. Within reason of course. I'm not going to go out and start making hamburgers out of my neighbors because I want to....

I've noticed that everything seems to be about what we don't do. Have you noticed that? Deprivation syndrome. Like for me I do this stuff because I'm curious if it can be done and I flat out want to. That's why I live an alternative lifestyle. That's why I'm polyamorous. That's why I talk with hot assed future english teachers. Good stuff!

 

lol...not really, but if you happen to be in the right sex shop when I finally work up the nerve to go through with my gloryhole fantasy, I guess everybody wins *wink*

There's an old Latin phrase that applies to doctors, that translates as "First, do no harm." That's my favorite phrase to live by. So yeah, do whatever you want...keeping that one rule in mind.

Ooh, you're polyamorous? I think the idea's so interesting, but I imagine it's awfully hard to make it work. Is there a forum on here somewhere about that?

(I don't actually think I'd want to try it - I just think it's interesting.)

 

yeah actually under sex and love; free love, in the forums I believe. I wrote a little something recently on one of the posts there to explain a bit how it works for me. Read Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein. That book changed my life. It really can be tough to make work. I came to the conclusion when I was just hooking up with this one girl and like it had been in my head but I had never put it to the test and then she was all upset one night and turns out she had slept with her ex. And I was ok with it. I realized that what she did with him had nothing to do with me and it didn't change how I felt about her. It was one of those defining moments.

and yeah benificence non-maleficence. do good and do no harm. it's part of the hippocratic oath I believe.

That's pretty much a libertarian doctrine I think do what you want as long as it doesn't harm another. Locke had lots to say on it if I remember. I really get down with libertarian ideals. I like philosphy a lot. Have you ever read Neitzsche's madman? It's a really short essay and it rocks my world. It might be a part of the larger work Zathustra, not sure. I can find it and PM you if your interested in reading it. Has some interesting things to say about religion and is where they get the whole "god is dead thing." If they'd finish the quote we'd see why the church hated him for it. Fucking love that man.

 

Never really got into libertarianism. I like a lot of their ideas, but I think they have a tendency to take a good idea and go too far with it - and, to be honest, some of the libertarians I've met have ended up being kinda weird. (Not you, of course.

It's a common misconception that it's part of the hippocratic oath - it turns out it's not!

 

Off-topic: It's nice to see more Mass hippies around! Welcome to the forum Molly.