- - - Tips and Other *Deep* Stuff for Lasting Longer (men/women) - - -

Warning: this is long; you might want to read it in sections or when you have plenty of free time. It should be both entertaining and inciteful.

1. Always try to breathe long and deep breaths.

2. Relax your shoulders; let them drop down and "hang".

3. Distract yourself: Have your eyes open, look around at (*other*) things, and try to actually think about what it is you're looking at, on some level. If you're good with your imagination, you don't really need to have your eyes open to distract yourself, you can simply think about things that are neutral or even in opposition to your sexuality, in the event that you need or want to quickly stop and prolong an experience.

4. If you're on your back or in a similar position and you're entering the red zone: Sit up and/or lean forward as quickly as necessary; "fold yourself". Basically what this does is relieves a lot of the tension in the muscles that we tense up more and more as we approach orgasm.

5. Alternate rhythm greatly: No matter what it is that you're doing, change up the style. Note that this could mean you'd have to change position/role. Just like a song. Generally speaking, in this context, you'd want to do something like 1-2-3 . . . 1 . 1 . 1 . . . 1-2-3, rather than 1-1-1-1-1, which is essentially just a race to orgasm - no thanks. And again, this general notion of variance serves to benefit for nearly whatever it is that you're doing within the realm of sex (and, well, everything, but that's another story), not just straight up humping.

6. If you're on your back, about to finish: You can arch your back and bring your legs/knees up and/or together. Similar reasoning to #3, just simpler.

7. Don't "start hard": If you do want to prolong an experience, don't start it by going straight to the oral or intercourse, or even masturbation for that matter. This is to avoid reaching your threshold too soon, and having to begin the back-and-forthiness that it is to tame the promise of an incoming orgasm.

8. Stimulate areas that arouse but are unlikely to generate an orgasm: From one guy to others, a very long ball massage can be great for this. (Stuff that's mostly non-shaft and mostly non-frenulum, or completely non-frenulum, depending on your threshold). (IMO it's way better if they're shaven, with lubricant and *drumroll* a vibrator that is good for this; the hands can be great too, though. And as always, way more enjoyable if you've really been saving yourself.)

9. And here's perhaps the best and most "philosophical" piece of advice that I can give you regarding this: Learn how to disconnect your mind from your body.

"What does that mean?"

What that means in more practical terms is the emptying of thoughts from your mind during an experience - namely but not exclusively, sexual ones - both internally influenced (fantasies, etc.) and externally influenced (your personal choice of stimuli, or your companion's body and whatever it is that you're actually doing together) ones.

To put it simply: Do it, but don't think about it.

"What's so great about that?"

Well, consider the notion that the more you have of a particular thing, the less you value it, or the more likely you are to take it for granted. Or you could look at it this way: If there were no light, could you recognize darkness, if that's all you ever had?

(I'll tie this part up now.) You will have experiences that are not only longer, but straight up better if you learn how to temporarily pull your thoughts and your mind away from the experience and away from everything else. You want to feel it and think, then stop, feel it and think it, then stop; all the while remaining physically engaged.

If you learn how to do this, you'll find that you can last for ridiculous amounts of time. Eventually you can go beyond even that and learn how great it is to not finish at all; to maintain the hunger and the bond, along with the ability, between you and your partner for hours, days, weeks or however long you both so desire.

hope you enjoyed it. later.

 

Interesting post...

Some women have trouble continuing sexual activity after they've orgasmed (being too sensitive) -- not me. So, I prefer not lasting long at all... I can always get another one after all

The only exception to this is if we're playing a game where I am not "allowed" to cum until I get permission/some time elapses/etc, in which case perhaps some of this may be of some help.

 

Thanks.

To your first comment: Right, although I think for those women it's just a matter of breaking barriers by just letting go. After the first time, perspective can really change and things become more tolerable. To illustrate what I mean: Say someone is performing oral on a woman (she's on her back), and the woman has an orgasm. What she'd want to do rather than flop all over the place (LOL, I'm just being goofy) is train herself in such a way that she can maintain enough composure (relaxed methods allow for easy focus on pleasure centers, rather than tense ones which are more distracting) so as to allow her partner to continue pleasuring her. It's possible, it's just a gradual process, like an acquired taste kind of thing.

Second: Right right. Teasing and denial is great. I'm 50/50 sub/dom right down the middle. Would you say you're sub, or?

 

I'm definitely more submissive although I have been known on occasion to dom for a pretty woman

 

*volunteers to submit* *pick me, pick me* lol, just goofing... back on topic!

i don't think it's necessary to think about things so much... seriously. i believe we all have deep within us the infinite ability to participate in sex in it's perfect form. the reason most people don't achieve this is because they think about it and worry about it and get performance anxiety, and intellectualize it. relaxation is really all you need to do for mindblowing sex. relax and enjoy!

 

Check out my Premature Ejaculation thread in the "Sexual Health" forum below for ten techniques to overcome premature ejaculation.

 

Treehuuger is right, you need to relax and focus on the pleasure, I've had insanely intense orgasms that lasted continuously non-stop for more than 2 hours (I'm talking mind-blowing ultra-intense orgasms that shake you to your core). You just have to learn to absorb the pleasure in your mind and body while relaxing your mind and body.