Single Parenting... The True Story

HOW DOES THIS MAKE YOU FEEL?

I'm a young "single" mother. I feel like having a child, even all by myself, has been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. I am in a fantastic relationship with a great guy, who is also a single parent, and we have a baby on the way in September. We aren't married, and aren't really jumping on the boat to do so as of yet.

... ... ... I have recently had reason to really be curious about how other single parents feel, and how people in general feel towards single parents. I keep running into the stereotypes attached to single parenting:

All single mothers(especially young ones) regret making the choice to have their baby.

A child raised in a single parent household won't be as happy or well adjusted as a child raised by two parents.

Further... If those two parents aren't married the child will be unhappy and confused.

Men(someone went so far as to say %90) avoid, run away from, or want nothing to do with a woman who already has a child or children. (I'm assuming that the same might be said that women avoid men who already have children?)

Being a single parent means giving up your life and all freedoms.

... ... ... I am of a mind that all of the above is MOSTLY a crock of bull. I know that SOME single mothers(and fathers) have regrets. I know that children DO benefit from having both a mother and father, but also know that there are alternative ways to have that, and that marriages DON'T always work, let alone work well. I also know that single parents of both sexes DO find happy healthy relationships, whether it's with another single parent or someone who doesn't have children. It might not be easy, and a parent has to think about their child first rather than the relationship, but it DOES happen. Lastly, I know that there are sacrifices single parents(every parent for that matter) have to make, but I believe most of those sacrifices are nothing in comparison to the love we gain from our children, and the lessons we learn in the process.

I want to hear from single parents... What are your thoughts and feeling on having children? Do you have regrets? How have your relationships been? How did your age at the time you had your child impact you? What have you encountered, lost, and learned?

And I want to hear from those of you who don't have children, whether you are single or in a relationship, of any age. What do you believe? Would you avoid a relationship with someone who already had kids? Do you think marriage is the only answer to a healthy environment for a child? Do you think a single parent is capable of supplying all the emotional support a child needs?

Thanks for your time... I look forward to seeing where this goes!

 

I'm a non-parent, and I have to say that single parents can do really well given that they really love their children and are committed to raising them with a lot of support and emotional nourishment. From what I have seen, it can be hard for a single parent financially, but if the love and committment is there, I believe things can work out in a positive way. I've known single moms who have raised happy, healthy, emotionally adjusted kids.

Nope, I wouldn't avoid a relationship with someone who had kids, and no, I don't believe that traditional marriage is the only environment a child can thrive in. As I said, I've known single moms with great kids, and I've known gay couples who have kids who are healthy and happy emotionally. It's all about the LOVE.... :daisy:

 

my parents divorced when i was 5. my dad isnt a great person, i'm glad my mom left him. but yeah i turned out okay.

 

My mother is a single mother; although she was together with my father for 8 years so it wasn't exactely ment to be a single parent. My father left when I was a baby though so she raised me alone, and she's doing absolutely fine.

 

My daughter is a single parent and her son, my grandson, is the most awesome kid ever. He's almost 15. His teacher, at a conference yesterday, even said that of all the kids she's ever taught, he could be the most likely to do something great. My daughter has been totally devoted to him all his life. The only babysitter he's had is me and my husband. My husband has kind of stepped up to be a father figure to him as well. So, the only regret would be on the part of the father who left him. His loss!

 

mom just married, dad left home four years ago. so it's okay

 

I am a single mom of a 2 yr old little boy. I was with his father till he was about a year and a half. His father abused me for several years and I wanted my son out of the situation. I met another man when we broke up. Things went really well between me and the other man. He wanted to keep my son out of his life though. At only 18 I was financially unstable and gave my son to his father (who would not hurt him) for about a month. Durring that time his father only let me see him once, it killed me. I later went to pick up my son unexpectedly only to find his father passed out drunk. I brought him home with me and swore not to ever let him see his son again as I heared more horor stories about the time with his father later. I soon broke up with the man I was with to take care of my son alone. I feel that my son has givin me meaning in life, he truly is the best thing that has ever happened to me....of course I wish sometimes that I had waited...but I would never be able to live without him.
I also dont feel that me being a young mom impairs my ability to parent, a mom at 16, like myself at the time, can do just as good of a job as a mom at 30.

 

Single mom due to the war on terror. It wasn't a choice I made by myself, but luckily with the two kickass kids I have, although it's not always easy, it's better than I anticipated. Although my kids aren't my life, they sure do make it a much better place to be.

 

My Dad raised me since I was 7. Best thing to happen to me. He did everything so I have a great life.

 

i think single parenting is better....im a child of a single parent and its great....everyone of mynfriends that have both parents end up hateing 1 or the other anyway. there also no fear of divorce

 

where do all theese single parent rumurs come from any way?

 

probably married parents