my bf and i have been together for about a year. a year before he met me he had broken up with his ex gf of 5 years. i've never dated a guy who actually had a serious past relationship. in my prior relationships i've really been the only girl they'd ever been commited to, and my ex, who was my first, lost his virginity to me, i mean, we lost ours together. so, it's been different dating a guy who was in a super serious relationship before dating me just because i know that there is still some baggage left from their cruddy relationship. i'm one of those girlfriends who asks alot of questions to my boyfriends about their exs. i use to like hearing their past stories and experiences together; it kinda turned me on in a sense. but i absolutely *hate* talking about his ex, even thought sometime i'll ask questions that will lead him to rant about their relationship for 10 or 15 minutes. lastnight he asked me what was one of the best times i've ever had with an ex, i explained, and when i asked him, he of course brought up his last gf and about how they went to 6 flags with another couple, and then later had sex in a hotel room. the thing is, i HATE when he talks about good things about her. it makes me want to ring her neck. i've never met her but i've seen pictures and we're polar opposites. i've never been jealous like this before! and i know most about their relationship which was extremely crappy, but still.. i flippin hate her guts! his story also really hurted my feelings. because about 6 months ago we took a 1 day trip to a ski resort, and stayed in a hotel. he said he could never feel right about having sex in a hotel... so, when i asked if their fun day lead to sex in the hotel he said, "of course! that's what you do when you're in a hotel with your gf." i felt really hurt. and basically this isn't the first time he has in someway contradicted the things he has said and done. it made me really not want to lay next to him on our bed, and i didn't want him to even touch me. i cringed at the thought. but he didn't know what was going through my mind. i never tell him or call him out. so yeah.... =(
talk to him and stop asking questions about his ex, even if it seems like a polite return-the-question-thing let him know you dont really like hearing about his ex, and it woudl be nic eif stories about her were kept to a minimum
Three points 1) He chose you over her. (He's seeing you rather than chasing her.) 2) The way he talks about her to you is similar to how he will talk about you with his next. 3) Stop ask him questions that he might answer in the wrong way. If you know that his answer might upset you, don't ask. (Or are you training him to tell you the "right" lies)
enjoi- i have had really bad serious relationship problems in my past. Although thats my past, i still get creeped out by my present and well i'm working on my future. I am happily married to a wonderful man. Although some ppl just don't like exes and really who does . They are exes for a reason. I am a type of person who always hangs on to the word Why? why did it happen why did it have to turn out like that why did they treat me like that why did i do that? When i talk to my husband about that stuff its a blank next topic. Try to have understanding; that your bf might not have control over how he feels he may but his relations with his ex gf were quite strong and probably are for you as well. Why do you think hes with you? Maybe that topic shouldn't be of any intrest to you and him. There are issues that no one will ever know. I'll give you an example. my dad when i was dating my very first bf 10 yrs ago- i tickled him he shoved me across MY kitchen floor in MY dad's house. well we were not steady and obviously broke up . I told my dad and my dad was like He would never do such a thing to you . I couldn't believe that . On top of that, not to mention i have to get jaw surgery because i got physically assaulted by my other ex and my dad said well thats probably not from him either probably something totally different . I'm just throwing out examples that might come from hidden experiences. Peace!!
Ex's are ex's for a reason. Keep them in the past. Learn from mistakes you made. Move on. You and your boyfriend need to come to an agreement that you don't talk about ex's.
