Sex will always be a problem for me

Easier: I didn't realize it actually hurt! If it actually hurts, I think you should see a gyno. Have you talked about this with your doctor? I'm really bummed that it hurt. But psyched that there was a moment of not-so-bad! What was the mind trick?

Easier's bf: I told you to go down on her! Don't make me come over there.

Rasberry, oh God please don't do that! What if you died the day before you met someone who you would've had amazing sex with? That would be awful! Plus, I'd feel terrible because you seem really sweet, and I just...please don't hurt yourself, honey.

Have you tried using a vibrator during sex? I do that all the time, because I'm waaaay more clitoral than vaginal so I don't cum all that often or hard just from sex. But having sex while using a vibrator = awesome.

Some girls think that boys won't want to try that because it'll make them feel like they're not enough to please you alone, but really most boys don't mind at all. They just want to make you feel good. And my guy tells me he can feel it too and it makes it better for him.

Maybe you should both give that a shot?

 

yea it does. and i talked to my gyno and she said theres nothing wrong, just to use lube. lube is both of our new best friends but it still hurts. and do you know anything about the burning uti pee-feeling sensation when i have sex?
i dont have a vibrator lol i think that'd be weird. he'd prob feel bad. and i just feel weird with guys doing stuff to me even tho that'd prob help but idk. im not a person to ask or accept

 

I do not know about the burning feeling. Medical questions aren't my forte.

OMG you have to get a vibrator! Vibrators are the key to life! And he will understand, because he's a sweetheart.

And we're working on the asking and accepting thing, right? If the point is to make sex fun for you, you're not allowed to say "But that would make me feel awkward."

 

well, i was just wondering if you got it or if its just me. lol
haha idk where i can get a vibrator?
well idk about that. its not that bad that i dont feel anything. as long as it doesn't hurt, im good *shrugs*

 

I have a vibrator, and it feel good on my clit. But penetration doesn't do anything for me. i want to be normal like most women and feel something in that hole. and not experience discomfort or numbness down there. i want to feel whole as a woman. I am sick of hearing about how someone just lost their virginity and it feels amazing to them already and i am still suffering. i have been battling this issue for years, and i am just about ready to give up on life.

 

suicide doesn't help anything.
and i feel the same way! i feel so different, so not normal. i heard all my friends and there good stories and then theres me with my crying everytime i have sex. and i feel so bad fer my boyfriend sometimes.

 

well what are we going to do? there seems to be no help for us. it's like we're just born different from everybody. and i hate that. it really gets in the way of life.

 

yea it does, i hate it too. i wish we could just be normal

 

I think it would really benefit both of you to search the Internet for information on these issues. Many, many people have experienced all of these problems (me with sexual dysfunction some years ago) and as such it has practically all been addressed at some time or another by physicians, psychologists, etc. I strongly urge both of you to check this stuff out. If you have a hard time finding the right information just say so here or via PM and I'll provide you with links via PM to stuff that I'm sure will be helpful.

It's important to keep your guy in check if you're having a little trouble and he starts doing his thing indiscriminately (I'm not saying that that's the case here, just a general rule, so to speak, especially if your sex life is new thing and thus he's somewhat clueless). There really shouldn't be any physical pain - it's unnecessary / avoidable barring an actual physical issue.

Easiersaidthandone, I don't know if you've tried this but it should help if you're on top. That way it's not his weight and force on you, and that way you have a lot more control.

Anyway, hope that helped.

 

I've given up. No more. I shouldn't have to work so hard at something that should come natural to you. I just want to stay locked up in my room all day isolated from the world. I don't ever want to hear about sex or anything again in my life. It just triggers my depression

 

physical pain isn't normal? i get it all the time. every single time it hurts and stings and burns. on top does normally have less pain than others too.
and i make my bf not jerk off.. ever lol so he ends up not having erectile problems with actual intercourse, since i have such trouble with it.

 

It depends. I mean it seems like you two are just getting into this, so the pain in particular might be related to your body getting used to it. Perhaps another lady can attest to that.

Do you happen to take any antidepressants?

 

Try different positions. On top, sitting on top, from behind, switch it up lots!

 

Im gonna have to say... go with the simplest thing you can do first. GET SOME LUBE to aid and lack of natural lubricant. if it still huts to much let him finger you or get a small sex toy, the kind that stimullates the clitoris and uses batteries. but it be cool of you if you satisfy the guy some other way, you know what i mean.
About the panic attacks, i guess 2 or 3 shots of tequila will do wonders for you.
Anyways. hope everything goes well for you.

 

Hey Ras and Easier

You can get vibrators online - a great chick-friendly site is babeland.com - or at a sex shop in your town - most towns have them. My vibrator is my best friend in the whole world.

Y'know, it's the girls who have good luck with sex - or want people to think they do - who brag about it, and girls who don't have great sex don't talk about it. There are so many girls like you two all over the place! They just don't speak up. You're not freaks though!

Jerking off or not jerking off shouldn't have anything to do with whether your boyfriend can get it up or not; it's more of a mental thing. In fact, not jerking off so he's all worked up and anticipating sex with you might even backfire because it turned it into a Huge Intimidating Event in his brain. I dunno, anything's possible. Whatever though, I don't care how often he jerks off.

Ras, are you seeing a shrink? Shrinks are great!

 

we are just getting into this. lol we just started having sex maybe a month and a half ago. and im not on one now, im just on birth control

weve tried some positions weve just made up! lol or never heard of, we just thought itd work

lube is amazing and we use a LOT. i pleasure him enough, thank you, and i dont drink.

idk, i just wish itd go away. i love my boyfriend, and i get sooooooo hot for him but it kinda depresses me because then we end up doing something and i just wanna feel good but then i just get a big old can of pain 8[