My fiance broke up with me in a text message

Four years ago I thought I met the love of my life. We had so much fun together everything was amazing. We talked everyday and learned everything about eachother. Engagement was the next step, I even got to pick out my ring. Unfortunately he had to go away to college, which I supported, I was just upset I couldn't go with. I visited every chance I got, well could afford. We started fighting more and more about stupid stuff. Then he told me he was through in a text message. We stayed "friends" acting like nothing was different. Still doing all the relationship things which went on for another 6 months. Then last week he told me that the relationship was all my fault, that I'm worthless, that he never wanted to talk to me again and to have a great life. I think four years deserves a little class like a face to face. I don't blame it all on him because I know that I have faults like everyone does also but he was my best friend and he told me I was his. I just don't know what to do because this whole week I have felt like I'm bipolar. I'm fine one second then balling the next. I don't know what hurts the most, losing him, being surrounded by so many people yet feeling all alone, how he did it and everything else. I don't know what to do...

 

Im so sorry to hear whats happened to you. You do deserve better, a lot better, to send something like that in a text message is really cruel and cold especially after 4 years. It sounds like hes moved on and i think thats what you need to start doing. Although thats easier said then done. I know its a cliche but times a healer. I think you deserve someone who would treat with a bit more respect.

 

Love hurts. That's a fact. When one falls in love, one puts his/herself in an emotionally vulnerable position. When things don't work out, it's gonna hurt deeply. It's gonna hurt awhile.


So, be brave. Take care of yourself.
It's good to express your emotions and have someone to talk to.
It will take time to heal, but heal it will.
All things pass away.

Best of luck.

 

The thing is I know he doesn't want to move on with anyone else. I was his first love, he didn't even want to get married until I met him. When I met him he was a few months away from committing suicide, everyone knew and I even have the letter. He wanted to kill himself because he didn't think there was a God and since he believed that he felt there was no point living if there is no after life. He was proven wrong while trying to prove me wrong (I believe there is a God). He no longer wanted to kill himself he wanted to pursue religion. He has fallen away from God but so have I. The thing is I talked to him everyday and saw him everyday. Now I feel like I have no one, all my friends have kids, are away at school or act like nothing happened. I'm 22 it wasn't supposed to happen like this. He was there for me through everything my surgeries, hospital stays, family battles and I was there for him through everything. Whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on he held me tight and told me everything was going to be fine because we had eachother. Now I am not so sure everything is going to be fine. I don't know who to talk to or what to do. I don't want to go through the dating scene again, it was hell for me, every jerk there was they found me. One of my guys friends explained it to me, he said that I was beautiful, which made me feel great until he said, beauty is a curse you are going to draw some of the worst guys. Also time betrays us all. When we want time to go slow it feels like time is in fast forward and when we want time to go fast it feels like slow motion...

 

From your posts, it sounds like he has problems that may not even relate to you. When he blames you for all the problems, he may be projecting his issues onto you w/o realizing what he is doing. He knows that something isn't right and he blames you for those feelings, when in reality they are his problem.

I understand how much it hurts to have someone you love suddenly pull a 180 and abandon you. Before we got engaged, my fiance broke up w/ me b/c things weren't going well. I didn't realize anything was going wrong until he told me he went out w/ another girl to a strip club. Then we broke up the next day and he started dating the other girl. To make a long story short, after they broke up, he realized the problems he thought we had were more in his head than anything else. It took him losing me to realize how special our relationship was. There were extinuating circumstances (he stopped taking his meds for bipolar disorder and his sister used her influence to break us up for her own personal reasons, etc). I can't tell you what is going on w/ your ex, but you know more about it than I do. Perhaps there are things going in his life that is influencing his decision. I don't know.

I know you weren't trying to be offensive, but your bipolar comment really got under my skin b/c I have to deal w/ bipolar disorder myself. I know that a broken heart hurts, but that is no comparison to bipolar episodes, which often have no apparent reasons why I can't stop crying and why suicidal thoughts keep popping in my head, even though I don't want to die. Comparing a broken heart to bipolar disorder is insulting to those of us who suffer from it w/o a choice.

Peace and love

 

I apologize for the bipolar comment. I did not mean to be offense. Both sides of my family suffer from bipolar and one of my uncles actually committed suicide because of it. When you said, "I know that a broken heart hurts, but that is no comparison to bipolar episodes, which often have no apparent reasons why I can't stop crying and why suicidal thoughts keep popping in my head, even though I don't want to die." That really makes me think because I have felt that way all my life... Thank you for your advice

 

he can't face you after 4 years to tell you what he's feeling, that's immature and shows that he wasn't ready for marriage. it's likely he feels guilty about the break-up and broken promise. maybe his reason for staying friends after you two broke up, included his need for you to be there for a while until he found someone else. it sucks all the same. in the end staying friends with him until he found another is a noble thing. take some comfort in knowing that you've helped him along his way. take your time and just get through each day. eventually your pain will subside. i wish you well. <<hugs>> take care.

 

/what a DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!