An e-mail I recieved today, and how I approached it.

First off I would like to let you know of my situation. I am 23 yrs old still living at home. The only reason I'm at home right now is because Im in the post college find a job stage. I have a full time job right now but the pay isnt what I want and if I moved out I would be living in a hole with prolly a roomate and I dont want that right now. I figure staying at home I get food, lodging, etc... plus the ability to save up some money with my job right now for when I find a better job I can have some "Get on my feet" money saved up.

As for my pot use I am a daily smoker usually 1-2 times a day. Once sometimes before work and the other at night before bed. I have been smoking since I was about 18 yrs old. My father knows that I smoke isnt super happy about it but he was a stoner in the 60s and knows the effects of pot and how its really not that dangerous. I assured him that Im careful with it and informed him of the new laws. In my state possession of less than 25g is a $100 fine and no possible incarceration. Considering the most I usually ever have on me is 14g its not a huge deal if I'm caught with it.

Well anyways I came home from work and found this email from my mother:

So my mother is very uneducated about marijuana. Obviously after I read this I went out and had a chat with her. It went really well I kept it calm. I first explained that my father already knew about me smoking pot, she was most upset about this because he never said anything to her.

I then had a printout of of the NYS marijuana laws (Thanks to NORML) showing her that the amount I would carry on me would never be more than 25g. I also then told her that pot was less harmful than the glass of scotch she was holding (showing some print outs from various sources on the web). I then let her know that its not a chemically addictive substance and told her about all the times that I have stopped for months at a time with no withdrawal effects.

Then I went into the drug testing thing, I told her that I have friends with state jobs in the same area I am going for and they can vouch that they do not drug test. As a matter of fact at the job Im at now which is working for the state half of the people in my office burn on the job. Also that its not in your system for 90 days its only 30 give or take a couple days.

I then told her that if she still wants it out of her house I will respect that and stop smoking pot untill I move. Her response to that was "Well as long as dad knows, just be careful."

The funny thing is I plan on stopping for a while after I finish what I have. This is due to the fact that I have some purchases I want to make and Im not spending any unecessary money at this time. Also I have my resume in with some other companies and I'm not 100% sure if they dont test as of now so I'm playing it safe.

But yeah I was just really glad that it went well, seeing as my mother is the type of person who's mind isnt easily changed usually. I think the fact that I am an adult though also played a huge roll in the situation and the fact that I came at the conversation in a well educated manner. I have a strong feeling that if this happened when I was 16 or so the outcome would have been really different.

Sorry for the long ass post but it seemed like something I wanted to share with everyone.

 

How did she find out?

 

I left my bubbler in my jacket pocket and she wore it out to get the mail and found it.

 

well glad you could educate your mom and that you didnt get in any trouble.

 

Wow, my mom found my stash a month or two ago, and she said almost the exact same things to me. Weird.

 

what happened with your bubbler?

 

Its safely sitting in my drawer

 

As I was reading her letter I was thinking: "oh boy.. this isn't going to be resolved yet, and I'm going to have to try and come up with some good solid advice," but it has been resolved. And that's great! My mom was cool with me smoking since I recenly moved back home. She just didn't want to know about it. Even though I kind of kept her a little more informed that she cared for. But my dad would totally flip out if he had found out. I just quit actually. I gave my pot back to my dealer/friend, and told him that I won't be contacting him in awhile until I can get full custody of my daughter. I'm afraid that my ex might try to use that against me since there is nothing else to use. And I'm totally cool about the not smoking thing. More cool than I though I would be. I haven't smoked in about a week (I think..) lol And it's going to continue until this thing is over. So I probably won't be smoking again until hopefully late summer or early fall.

But anyway, glad it all worked out in the end for you. You mom sounds like an open minded and understanding soul. And yes that glass of scotch is far worse than weed any day. My grandma drinks scotch and water all the time. When she's not drinking vodka gimlets, or wine that is. She's been an alcoholic for like 60 years.

So sorry for rambling. Take care

 

this exact thing happend to me today, but I didnt know how to respond, wish I would of had some of the sources you had or had time to prepare for it. It also would have helped if I wasnt blazed at the time of the lecture haha.

 

haha that would be so funny to go out to get the mail and your wearing your kids jacket and find a bubbler in it, I know what I would do

 

if only my mom would understand my use or anyone else for that matter

 

Im glad it went well, but what gets me, is that she approached it thinking your dad didn't know, trying to resolve it without him knowing, but was irritated at finding out that your dad did know and didn't inform her. something to think about anyway.

 

gOOD POST MAN. I got an almost identical letter from my mom a few yearsw ago. Startting with 'this is really hard for me to do' then 'we can help you', and then the consequences. Its funny how all moms think alike. Mine even worte and email to avoid confrontation too.

 

Sounds exactly like my mom (even though she's learned to respect my decisions). You handled it very well and I'm glad things worked out well for you..

 

wow awesome mum! shes such an understanding woman, i can tell from the letter. u said she wasnt very well informed on weed which might have been true but at least with her lack of knowledge she didnt flip like mad which coulda happened. anyway seems u handled it very well, this story is a much better one than the ones i read sometimes around this forum, where there are shouting parents, shouting kids, hating each other, kicking out, calling cops on family members, etc, those are so pathetic. your story proves how much your mum cares for you - nice thing to see on this forum.

 

damn you guys are rather lucky, I am not much of a "drug user " ie, i dont see weed as a drug, and I do not even drink, my mom thinks its hilarious at the fact that I smoke weed, rather then want to take the medicine for getting my wisdom teeth pulled, she thinks its ridiculous, that I don't want to take pills, like tyelonol, and things like that, but im willing to smoke weed

she goes postal on me, and flips the fuck out when she finds me doing it, i've been caught way to many times, but thats because she searches my room every fucking day even when im in it, and i dont even know what to do to get it to stop

i constantly can never let my guard down, I figured i wiould just quit because im getting my own apartment in under 2 months now, but its just ridiculous, i can smoke without them knowing in the house, not that dificult, but they even contacted the neighbors, to tell them when my window is open so they know what i am doing at all fucking times of the god damn day.

 

yeah, for real. but that's women for ya.

anyway, good work on handling it. and now I've got some pointers on what to do if my own mom should find out about my habit, nice.

 

You know thats true I never even thought about that. I think I'll just let that little point be. I'm very happy with how it went and I dont wanna go stirring the pot (no pun intended).

 

Would you mind posting some of those print outs incase I get caught anytime soon?