its from a different forum.. lol i found it kinda funny... and now i kinda wanna roll at walmart.. lol WalMart For E-Tards! 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day 4. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 5. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 6. When there are people behind you, walk really slow, especially in thin narrow aisles. 7. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens. 8. Play with the automatic doors. 9. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!" See if they play along to avoid embarrassment. 10. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this junk, anyway?" 11. Repeat Number 10 in the jewelry department. 12. Ride a display bicycle through the store and claim you're taking it for a "test drive." 13. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!" 14. Put M&M's on layaway. 15. Move "Caution Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 16. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 17. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. 18. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible." 19. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 20. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. 21. Start playing Calvinball and see how many people you can get to join in 22. Challenge the other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap 23. Re dress the maniquins as you see fit 24. Turn all the radios to polka stations, turn the volume up to 10, the n turn them off. 25. Follow peopel through the isles always staing about 5 feet away, continue until they leave the store. 26. Play soccer with some friends using the entire store as your feild 27. Set up a tent in the camping department and only let peopel in if they bring pillows fro m bed and bath 28. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch " from the other isles. 29. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run aroudn going "Im bat man., Come, Robin! To the bat cave!" 30.TP as much of the store as possible. 31. Randomly throw things in neighboring isles. 32. When someone asks you if you need help begin to cry and go "why wont you people jst leave me alone!" 33. When two or three people are ahead of you, run between them yelling "red Rover" 34. Make up nonsense products and ask the new employees if they have them. 35. Take up the toy isle and create a battle feeild with gi Joes vs. the x men 36. Take bets on the battle described above 37 nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs 38. While handling the guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti depressants are. Act as spastic as possible. 39. Hold shopping cart races 40. Attempt to fit into very lage gym bags 41. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags 42. Say things liek "would you be so kinda s to direct me to your twinkies" 43. Two words "Marco Polo" 44. Re alphabetize the cds 45. In the auto department, practice your "madonna" look with various funnels 46. When an announcement comes on assume a fetal posistiona nd yell "no no! It's the voices again!" 47. Relax in the lawn furniture until you get kicke dout 48. When someone steps awya from their cart to look at something, quickly dart away with it without saying a word 49. Take a lounge chair tot he magasine section and buy a drink and relax. 50. But a drink and tell them you don't get out much andwould they please put a little umbrella in it BONUS: Attept all above during the same visit 51. Llok right at the security camera. Useit as a mirror while you flos syour teeth. 52. Switch the mens and womens signs on the bathroom doors 53,. Hide in a clothing wrack and when people browse say things like "pick me! Pick me!" 54. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them into people's carts when they don't realize it. 55.Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "Where are your tampons?" 56. Try on bras over the top of your clothes 57. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restroom. 58. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "I smell sex andcandy" 59. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud…"Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!" 60. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc. 61 Place all of the pillows and bedding in Domestics on the floor, move everything else to the wall, and if anyone asks - simply explain that you're making room for "living room gymnastics." 62. Start bowling in the aisles. See how many people you can get to join in. 63. Hide little stuffed beavers all over the store, then announce to about ten friends "BEAVER HUNT!". You can then go around asking people if they have seen a little beaver 64.Ask for a product that requires a ladder to get down. Look at it a few seconds after the employee climbs down, then hand it to them and say thank you. 65.. Ask for wierd combinations of things like yard-gnomes and vaseline. 66. Get a leash and collar from Pets and take a friend for "walkies". 67. Go into the dressing rooms and yell "fire!' 68.Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually. 69. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. 70. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them. 71. Water the plants in the plant department 72. Liberate the fish in the pet department 73. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out 74. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions. 75. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie." 76. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles. 77. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." 78. Draw pictures on all the etch a sketchs and display them all in one isle as your "art show" 79. Run dwn the up escalator, and up the down escalator 80. Try t hold up costumers with toy guns 81.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" 82. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall 83. Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head. 84. Walk aroudn with a cooler that says ‘human head' on the side. 85 . Walk backwards 86. Carre a blanket and clutch it protectively 87. Annouunce in a demonic voice. "I must fiind a more suitable host" 88.Take one of those round air filters out of the box, put it on your head and declare yourself the king of the automotive department. 89.In the new releases section, rip out the very last page of the story in each book so the person who reads it will go nuts wondering how it ended. 90.Get a full cart and get in a long check out line and when your next in line act like you forgot something and leave. 91.Put a pair of panties over your face and run around the store yelling that you're Spiderman. COMPUTERS: 92.On each display computer, check the mouse to see if there's a mouse ball inside. If there is, take it out and screw the cover back on. Lose these on the floors, throw them at customers or pretend they're bubble gum. 93.Figure out a way into the display computer's settings (they're usually protected) and give their Windows 98 a new "theme" - this would include a new desktop background image (porn!), now sounds (porn!), and maybe some of those new-fangled active desktop links to even more porn. You can bring in porn on a disk.
i've done a lot of those that weren't mean/too destructive. rolling at wal*mart is the greatest. i got lost in the fabric section. oh my god. row upon row of faux fur and sequins XD. haha i like 58.
its funny, if i got a friend to do it with me, and we were fucked up enough, i'd totally do atleast like.. 5 or 10 of those. lol
hahahaha ive done the one where you fill up a cart with condoms, and try to purchase them. the clerk started scannin them and i just walked away. hahahaha
yo.. i'm gonna try this when i get paid in two weeks. lol not just wal-mart though...but i'd probably spend most of the time there.. lol i'd probably shop all over the mall... with my mp3 and trance songs. hell yeah
I think I may have done this when I was 16 or so, but I may have made that memory up so Im not positive. Definitley used to love rolling in the grocery stores, I used to have a friend who stocked shelves at night and I would go to drop off some pills to him while rolling. I loved walking around the produce section! Tomatos are so yum namaste
oh boy shops are great when rolling. but that guide seems more like some jolly roger guide to delinquency. more fun to enjoy the things in the store rather than just fuck everything up for the sake of it. who the hell wants to realphabetise cd's? you just waste someone elses time at the small price of wasting your own. you should have put the 'avoid embarrassment' disclaimer on a lot more than the one that has it. but some of them are sweet. like getting a drink and sitting on massage chairs. or swinging on those garden swings that they have (like a swinging outdoor sofa). or just walk around in the fruit and veg section. probably one of the best options. sample a grape of each coloured type then perhaps a range of cherries? youll surely find they taste quite nice.. i implore you: eat the berries! smell the citrus skin's delight caress its waxy dressings careful not to get it in your eye it will seem to you quite like a blessing. forthward! on, to the tropical fruits with the pawpaw's zesty stench imagine strings that bind your teeth amidst the mango flesh but listen here now, boy, or girl, or thing a fellow to avoid with heed the badass banana, yes indeed. it looks so cool and sounds so sweet but when hes in your throat hell have you on your knees for rollings not a game it can dry your throat to shame unless you eat some canteloupe and then! its happy days!
lol, ofcourse, i couldn't imagine doing all that.. i dont think its even possible in one visit without them calling security. lol
79. Run dwn the up escalator, and up the down escalator << that would actually be really fun when you're rolling XDD but what walmart has escalators? 87. Annouunce in a demonic voice. "I must fiind a more suitable host" << reminds me of my friend, Marcos... ahaha he used to huff those air can things that you clean keyboards with. He goes "It makes you sound like Satan" after doing it. Funniest thing everrr
93 ways to get arrested... When I go to wal mart while rolling it is to buy glowsticks, flashing lights, condoms, a drink, and crazy hats. oh, and some vicks. Then it's off to the clubs and SEX
this sounds like some realy fun shit to do while drunk or rollin im printing this out and keeping it in my pocket for the next time im that im bored at my friends house
