And I don't know how well this is going to work. He's the first guy I've ever loved, the guy I lost my virginity to...and our breakup was really amicable and mutual. We want different things, he's from scotland and i'm american, yada yada yada, I'm too young to give him the things he wants. Okay. so. he's my best friend, I'm his. we stopped being boyfriend and girlfriend, but never stopped sleeping together. We've had some pretty amazing sex since the breakup as well. We can talk about anything...and we truly love eachother in a deep, respect-filled way. We discussed the sex buddy thing, and agreed it was cool. Especially since neither of us are in a position to be involved in a romantic relationship with ANYBODY at this point in our lives. Problems... He won't kiss me anymore if we're not being sexual...no friendly kisses, nothing. Sometimes even if we are being sexual he doesn't want to kiss me. I mean, last night we were fooling around, he was playing with me and I was about to come, and I asked him to kiss me and he didn't. We were shopping the other day, and he made a move to grab my hand and then recoiled, saying "Oh wow. I really want to hold your hand, its like an impulse." I asked why didn't he, he said it wasn't appropriate. He wears shorts to bed now and puts a blanket between us so our skin isn't touching while we sleep. He won't hug me in public but he'll hold me while we watch a movie. while we watch a movie, he doesn't play with my boobs anymore which I really miss. when we're laying down I'll see him make a move for them, stop himself, and put his hand on my stomach instead. But he'll play with them while we're having sex. He gets jealous of guys, even if they're just talking to me. I love having him as my fuck buddy, without all of the problems we had as an actual couple. But it really hurts that he's taking most of the intimacy we had away. I think he's doing it to cut a clear line....that we're NOT boyfriend and girlfriend. He'll even punctuate his lack of affection with that statement. But I KNOW this! I've told him that I'm so much happier as his friend than I ever was as his girlfriend. Its not just because we're having sex. If any of my friends stopped touching me (hugs, kisses, just friendly touches.) I'd be hurt. Thoughts? Advice? I don't know if I'm doing this thing right or not...maybe I shouldn't be hurt, maybe its to be expected, I don't know.
well not to sound like i dont understand what ur saying, but it seems to me that yall have a good thing going, something that alot of people wish they could have, and maybe you should be happy with it since you are so far in agreement with him as to the terms of the friendship
I've accepted it. It all came out on Saturday...he got drunk and saw me talking to another guy (we were at this guy's house) and totally flipped out. it was innocent...but he got posessive and jealous and we had to leave. That's totally unlike him, btw. when we got home (we're roommates..we live in the same dorms but he pretty much lives in my room.) he started freaking about how I probably would've kissed this guy, ect ect if he hadn't intervened...I told him that he was wrong, but that it didn't matter either way because we're not together anyway. and he blanked at this one...it obviously hurt him that I said that, and asked "So. Just tell me right now, once and for all, do you think of me as a boyfriend? Do you still want to be my girlfriend?" So he hadn't been intimate because he still wanted to get back together, but knew I didn't want to. And he doesn't want to get hurt. Anyway, long story short, we had a long talk about it and discussed the boundaries and now we're closer than ever. Anyway, it worked itself out.
