Well, as you can all probably tell by my limited number of posts here, I am quite new. I'm pleased to see that I'm not the only one who has thought of googling sex forums I have several questions/comments that I was hoping someone could help answer or just talk about for a little. But first a little background info. I'm 20, male and in college with my girlfriend (shes also 20). We have been dating for about a year and a half now. From the begining of the relationship up until now it has been going very well and I enjoy being with her during the day and talking with her late into the night and having foreplay and sex. However, from the begining until now she has always been hesitant to do certain sexual things, for example like have sex doggy style and anything else where we aren't face to face. Also in the begining she didn't like oral sex as much. I suppose everyone has their preferences and thats ok. She hasn't clearly had an orgasm/squirted since we have been having sex. I've definately done all I could think of so far and have spent a lot of time doing it. Not to mention talking a lot with her about what will help her climax and what she likes. Problem is, she has never really experimented on her own so she doesn't know. She mentioned that she often feels a build up during sex almost like she needs to pee, but she holds that feeling back and eventually it goes away. So I suppose I'm not really sure what I'm asking here. Maybe some comments or advice? I really want her to climax like I do.
first thing your girl needs to do is know how to give herself an orgasm. from what you say, it sounds like she may have never had an orgasm ever in her life. and that is very sad. ask her if she would be willing to learn how to give herself pleasure, and explain to her that it is difficult for you to know how to give her pleasure if she doesn't know specifically what it is that she likes. and the only way to find that out is for her to figure that out. like the old saying that you must know how to love yourself before you can truly love another... same goes for sexing! i am finding this to be an issue with lots of people i talk with... surprising to me, since i started masturbating before i even hit puberty, but everyone takes a different path. good luck with everything!
Snipaz - Only about 25% of women can get an orgasm from intercourse alone, and another 25% can get one by combining intercourse with clitoral massage. Another 25% can only get an orgasm from clitoral or G Spot massage, and 20% or so never or seldom get orgasms. It is not you... Check out my post on how to give her a G Spot Orgasm in the thread just above, posted by Riddler, or PM me for personal instruction.
nakedtreehugger - yea, she doesn't masturbate on her own from what I hear. She has had an orgasm once though a few years ago before we met when she tried masturbating. Apparently there was some anal penetration when she got herself to climax. But she definitely doesn't masturbate regularly (which is upsetting). I've discussed it with her and she says she wants to, but says she doesn't feel sexy so she doesn't do it when she is alone. Progress is slow :/ Cutted - I read your post to riddler, it was pretty informative. I have basically done that before and it gets to the point where she starts squirming because of the intense feeling and its difficult for me to continue. Also at times she says that it goes from feeling really good to being uncomfortable all of a sudden. Quite often she says she feels a strong pee feeling when we do that or have sex. Is this the beginning of a female orgasm? If so what should she do? She holds it back because she doesn't want to accidentally pee if it turns out thats what it is (even though I've encouraged her to see what happens rather than hold it back). Thanks for the replies so far!
i am so sorry to hear that your girlfriend has these issues. they can be very hard to overcome, and unfortunately a lot of it will be up to her and whether or not she is willing to dig deep enough inside her own self (and i'm not talking masturbating at this point lol) to find out why she doesn't feel sexy. in my experience, anxiety over feeling attractive, worthwhile, or sexy is the NUMBER ONE reason women have problems achieving orgasm, or enjoying sexual activity. it seems that you are a very caring, sweet guy who probably does about as much as you can possibly do to reassure your woman that you find her sexy. so good for you on that front! but she really needs to start feeling sexy to herself. some things that have helped me when i've had issues with that have been: standing in front of a mirror watching as my lover caresses each part of my body, telling me how sexy i am, and how sexy each part of me is taking pictures naked, or during sex, or both, and then looking at them together later, finding that we both get aroused again. 'cause if you look good on film, you just look damn good! for me, posting naked pictures on forums like these has been incredibly freeing, as i see that people are attracted to all types of bodies, and that bodies are all beautiful and sexy in their individual ways. also, reassurance that sexiness is not always about the outer appearances. sexiness is simply deep attraction, often based on the level of confidence one has in their body. for example, someone can have an absolutely bangin' body, but really hate their body, and feel ashamed of it. that lack of confidence shines through the outer shell of hotness, and makes it seem fake, unreal, and not very sexy. it's a long road to feeling sexy, and accepting your body for what it is, and learning to love your "imperfections." even women who are confident, have lots of sex partners, and really enjoy sex can have very crippling self-hatred, and in the end it can be the most devastating thing in your life, not just in the bedroom. i hope some of this is useful to you... please feel free to pm me if you want to talk more about this. i don't claim to be an expert, but i have had some pretty interesting experiences along the way, not only for myself, but with many of the women i've been lovers with. if i can help even one person feel more sexy about who they are, it's worth it all!
When she starts squirming, that means that she is getting close to orgasm. Just continue, and tell her to let go. Some women don't like the feeling of totally losing control that happens when an orgasm take over your body. But hold her tight and say it is OK and keep going until she has completed her orgasm cycle. Have her pee before this session, and tell her that she won't pee again - that it is just the body's reaction to your stimulation in the same area as her pee equipment.
I agree with cutted^ When I first started havin' orgasms, it felt like I had to piss, but I knew that wasn't what it was, so I continued and had incredible sensations. Even though I'm a dude, it's a similar thing. I think that when she starts squirming, that's a great sign... keep going and be relentless with your tongue and fingers on her clit. When I say relentless, I mean fast but in a gentle way.
