interesting post from anotherh forum site

just peeked in there earlie rtoday for the first time and foudn this post: http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=49670 which made me think of mens issues stuff

basically, the poster is tryign to get emotional support from his gf about financial stress and living on his own for the first time (gf lives on her own as well, separate places), she just gets all aggressive and tells him he has to stand on his own yet expects help from him

interesting myriad of responses as well, from "yeah you need to man it up" to a few "shitty man" type stuff. worth a read

 

He found one way to learn about the kind of person his girlfriend is.

The question is,
Is he smart enough to learn from this or will he need further tutoring?
(She'll supply the tutoring, even without being asked.)

 

clearly not a woman he needs in his life. not a good match.

 

yeah, hed mentioned he was gonna break up with her


just i thought it was interesting, how many guys responded saying man it up and how few seemed to recognize that wanting emotional support is a legitimate thing for a guy... or how hypocritical the chick was because shed call her guy crying but tell him to be more independent if he ever came to her with an issue

 

We are human beings and we need emotional support. Men are human beings, not emotionless robots. It seems as though there is an underlying, unspoken idea that men are the latter, though. If you demand support but cannot reciprocate for your partner, there is something wrong, whether you are male or female. If your partner does not support you, why should you stay w/ that person? It is a two way street.

I find it so sad that men are being looked down upon for emotional vulnerability. This attitude denies men the freedom to express themselves emotionally for fear of negative reactions and belittlement. I feel most sorry for those men who have the attitude that the need for emotional support is weakness, for they must be suffering greatly behind that stoic front they put on for each other.

I am glad my fiance is not scared to lean on me for support. We are together to support each other when things are not going well, to help each other out when the world seems to be uncaring.

Peace and love

 

I'll pass.

 

useful post there

 

Sorry. I didn't mean to depreciate your effort. But at least you're now acquainted with my cynical side...lol.:nopity:

 

OH BECAUSE PENNY ARCE IS FUNY AMIRITE

um.. negatory, penny arcade is the most boring web comic ever

 

character exposition. very handy. useful, even.

well, there is a limit to what any man or women should be asked to tolerate. a mate who's a continuous emotional black whole is more than anyone can take. and everyone, male and female alike, needs to learn to suck it up and stand on their own two feet. my little sister is 22, married and STILL living with my parents. i don't understand that at all. i can understand the fits and starts that happens in a personals development and first steps out into the world, most people these days will have to fall back on family or friends at least once anymore. but if someone is completely incapable of dealin with their own shit on a daily basis, and you're already stressed out trying to take care of your own, how much is too much to ask for? i bet it varies from person to person, but eventually that liimit will be found.

i mean, what man wants a woman who can't ever balance her checkbook, get her rent paid and cries every time she gets stressed out? ugh. dave and i take turns leaning on each other, and it works for us. he makes all the major decisions for the family. after all, it's his money and his decision what to do with it. i make sure the bills get paid and the kids are properly educated and cared for and the house is liveable. SOMETIMES, however, he really needs me to step up and be the bulldog bitch he knows i can be, and i'm more than happy to. though usually i prefer to keep her in the kennel in my head.

 

I like the taking turns idea. Pure genius!

 

everyone needs to sit back and have someone they trust take the reins sometimes, you know? when i'm doing REALLY poorly, with my own anxiety/depression, dave will even do the laundry for me. and when dave is just totally overwhelmed, i'll run all his errands for him, even though i have to drag two screaming kids. some days he needs to lay with his head in my lap, sometimes i need to lay my head in his lap. some days he needs to overpower me, some days he needs me to service him. all i require is an occaisional bouqet of flowers if he sees some pretty ones at the grocery store. i'm a light touch, really, for the people i love.

 

Lucky bastards! Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

 

well, we also takes turns being shitty jerks. some days he's just a jerk, pissy, cranky, impossible to please. some days i am. so we tell ourselves "okay, today is dave's turn" or "okay, it's kc's turn." and just let it go, no matter what is said. because sometimes your head just doesn't work right and you can't help it.

 

I like taking turns on that too. Really, paradisical relationships are a little claustrophobic to me.

 

i have intimacy issues.

 

Hmmmmm...:grouphug:

Freudian-schizoidian...

Well, intimacy is scary! No wonder!