Reading that made me feel like I just got out of prison. :& Sorry but it has been a while for me lol. As for music I would say any asthetically pleasing stuff or songs that are spacey and moody. Maybe some ambient Aphex Twim shit would be cool, but the best I've ever listened to would have to be the soundtrack for Great Expectations... Oo la la!
My girlfriend gave me possibly the best fuck I've ever had, because "Sir Psycho Sexy" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers came on the stereo, and she was grooving on it. Neither of us really even liked the Chili Peppers, but we goddamn well do now.
Portishead Death In Vegas (a personal favorite fuck band) Enigma (definitely!) St. Germaine ("Tourist" is a really sexy album) Zero 7 Moby (especially the 18 album)