I'm addicted to ups and downs....

When things are going good with me, one little negative thing seems to snowball into many and make me feel like a depressed little bitch for like 2 weeks....


Then after a while, I'll snap out of it and realize how good I have it, and be on cloud 9 for a couple weeks.

It's like I'm back and forth all the time between feeling like I'm incredibly blessed with the brightest future and feeling like I'm a loser who's headed nowhere and letting everyone down. The thing is, I think part of me TRIES to feel shitty when things are going too well. It's like I'm so used to this back-and-forth battle that I HAVE to constantly have it in my life.....like I'm addicted to it.

I think me being such a competitive person and always feeling the need to prove myself has something to do with it. I know a more consistent life is there for me....just having trouble finding it. I know I sound like a whiny punk, but any thoughts?

 

i can relate, i have a tendency to push people away, especially the people who mean a lot to me, girlfriends, parents, friends. when things seem to be going great i seem to screw it up and push them away, i used to have a lot more than i do now, wish i could take it all back but theres nothing i can do now.

 

dude that's just like me as well. like i relate to everything you said. at the moment i am in the cloud 9 state, which is good

 

thats me dude, totally everything you said

 

maybe you are bipolar?