i need some advice :(

Hello, hope you'll understand my English
Even if i'm only 20, i really love my boyfriend; we're together for 3 years now. Of course we've had our problems, but this time i'm really worried: he said that we're together for a long time and he feels that his youth will pass by and later on, he will regret not having met other girls..yet he still loves me.
He started talking to another girl, after that they met, they exchanged gifts... He admited that he might have some feelings for that girl and after a month he'll tell me what he feels.
I don't know what to do, we've been so close, we've done everything together.. should i .. stop seeing him until he decides? should i try smth else?

Hope you'll help me ..

 

i dont know what you can do reallly.. difficult situation.
seems like he's pissing you about.. but if you love him then I guess you'll just have to wait to hear how he feels.. or in the mean time remind him why you two fell in love in the first place.

 

Sounds like you both need some time off to me.

Being 20, i think he's right.

 

i know its tough when you are in a relationship, but you might need to tell him that you are not prepared to wait on the sidelines while he looks around to see if the grass is greener on the other side.
you have got to save your dignity and self respect, he at least owes you that, tell him to stop coming around until he has made his mind up who he wants to be with.
i wonder how he would feel if it was you that was sniffing around elsewhere ?

 

This is why I laugh when people say they have found true love at these ages or lower, their not even real adults with a real level of mutual respect, yet they are sure they have "found true love", when it is only a mere infatuation, maybe a good infatuation, but an infatuation all the same, not true love at all lawl.

Here come the "oh no im sure I have found true love" ppl at age 20 minus... dun dun dun

 

He has feelings for another girl ?
I say dump him.
You are too young to be in a very serious relationship. Atleast thats my opinion. Take some time off.

 

Lol. I definately agree.

 

Well, no offence or anything, but you're 20, how would you know? I know some married people who've been together since they were 16 and they're still very much in love. Anyway..

A friend of mine told me that every boy cheats sometimes when he's in a long relationship, even if it's not real sex, even if he just looks on the street at a cute girl, or feels only the sexual desire to be with someone else. He said that boys are like that and of course that doesn't mean that girls should accept this kind of situation, it just means that .. boys have desires Do you think this is..true and normal ?

Anyway, we talked las night and he said that i have 99.9% chances to trully be with him again and that he loves me, but I was really sad because .. we couldn't make love, he wasn't getting horny or smth , he said that it was because he was so stressed about everything.. And i was thinking "i'm not attractive anymore" even if i know i'm pretty, i guess.

I know that this sounds so complicated and .. i should just "dump him", but it's really not that easy, he's my first boyfriend, i'm his real first girlfriend and even if we're so young, i really think we are in love. Even if we're not ..perfect for each other, it's normal to have arguments, no-one's perfect, but we get along 95% and i don't think i could find another boy like him, or better than him.

 

Call my cynical but my opinion is that the boyfriend is "having his cake and eating it too." Yeah you have a 99.9% chance of him coming back, and why would that be? Because he never intended to leave you. He found someone he wanted to "recapture his youth with" for a while and had no intentions of losing you while he did it. He "broke up" so there could never be any cheating allegations, and possibly no guilt because he was single. Its a beautiful plan really. All he needed is someone blinded by "love" and you are that person. Or the other option is he kept you waiting while he is testing the waters with another woman. If she doesnt work out he still has you.

The problem is that you allowed him to do this to you, and are still hoping he picks you. Why weren't you out partying with your friends while he was "finding his youth" ??? Why did you wait for him? Don't say "because I love him" because it is a crappy answer (not to mention unoriginal). What makes him so right for you?

 

I'm 19 and happily married! The thing with this entire situation is it really doesn't matter what other people have to say ... your the one that has to deal with the pressures of it. the question is can you take it all for the sake of true love? Live your life with no regrets!!! Weither that's being with him and dealing with shit from time to time, but being happy because you put your all into it. Or leaving his ass behind and just moving on. just don't do anything that you'll regret. but unfortually luck is against you because the percentage of people that marry there first loves and things of that sort have the greatest chances of not owrking out in the long run. personally i wouldn't be with anyone that had diffrent ideas about the relationship then i did. but it's all personal prefrence. i also would totally not listen to whatever he says while he's still desiding ... i mean he is human and until he desides he's likely to say anything to keep you there as an option. not saying he's a liar but that's just human nature.

Life's about what you can handle!

 

spot on

 

Oh, thank you for all these advices! it's nice knowing that ppl around you still care about helping others.

Well, I must admit that maybe I should've been partying, or at least having some decent fun So, last night i went to some sort of "party", it was really nice and I realised something: we've lost almost all of our friends because all day long we would only see each other, and that made me feel a little bit shy and insecure. I know that on the other hand, I was afraid of having fun without him because i felt that it could ruin our relationship in some way (maybe he would suffer for a little bit, but then he would date the other girl, dunno).
I'm scared in a way that I became "addicted" to him, that it would be hard to have fun and do things on my own (or with some friends)..and i know that independence can be (re)gained, but in some way, I liked the way we were, just the two of us.
The thing is, I myself had a problem, about a year ago: i really liked one if his friends .. he liked me (at least, for some time), but nothing wrong happened. Anyway, I told my boyfriend about the crush i had and even if he was very very upset, he understood that it wasn't my fault and everything was fine in the end. So, it's not easy.

What do you think?

 

Its not uncommon to lose friends when you get into a serious relationship. Usually as a couple you end up finding other couples that share your interests. You should always have some personal interests outside of your relationship. It gives you both a break and makes you appreciate time together more.

NEWSFLASH!!!

I think the majority of women have developed a crush on one of their significant others friends. (Show of hands ladies) I know I did! Damn he was smoking f-ing hot! Sorry, got sidetracked by fond memories Anyway, so what, you had a crush. Guess what, he probably thinks someone you know is sexy and imagines her in various states of undress. It's normal!

I think it is your relationship and people here have given you good advice from different points of view. Only you can decide what works for you.

 

Thank you!

 

i'm kind've in the same position. my ex has told me to wait for him to see if he'll want me soon. my friends tell me HELL NO don't do that. they say "only B*tches wait for little boys" not to sure that's true, but in your case i feel like maybe you should look for someone that wants you all the time, and doesnt give up on you just cause you've been together for a long time. getting over a break up can feel like the worse thing in the world...im currently trying to get over one. but i know that one day, i will be happy again. and so can you

 

I was in your place about a 2 months ago. Mine told me she is 36 yr. old woman with 3 kids. I don't want her. I love you, we are getting married. Well i listen to him and come to find out he had been seeing her. I am still PISSED at both of them. I would like to tell her a few words. I love him. We are broke up. We had been togather for 11 yrs.engaged 3 yrs of them. Building house togather. So If you can live with what he has done then stick around , if not go out have fun. Mine still calls me and text me during the day. He tells me he loves me and miss me. That the house I will live in. But I can't Trust him. I want to and trying. So you have to answer the question for yourself. Can you be happy with him for the rest of your life. You have to be happy.

 

yea you know what you are young but dont let people tell you your not in love thats for you to decide

good luck

 

i reccomend my "Cheating is good" topic =)
Read it and take your conclusions.
Imo your partner just want you to fuck off ..
he wants to fuck other girls now ...

 

what's wrong with you?
you're weird

 

The suspense is killing me.....

Did your boyfriend come to his senses yet?