Ok to a certain degree thoughts of ''ya done that wrong ya could do better'' are normal and what drives us on to better are selfs. But its every day and starts as soon as I wake up normally with me saying in my head how much I hate myself and how everything I do think and say are wrong and everything I am or will become will always be substandard. Can only describe it as like having a song in your head that never stops. I know why I get these thoughts but can only say that when I was young was kinda programmed to fail and never get anything right. I'm just so fed up with it all as I try so hard to stop it but the more I try the louder the thoughts get.
Ok thanks. Maybe its just a bad habit that I picked up when young and could train myself out of but even the fear of failing or the great unknown stops me from trying, I really dont think I could handle that cos if I fail at that then what little hope I once had would be gone. Some times sounds bad but it even gets to be like a friend like the only constant thing in my life I can rely on.
I can understand how difficult it is to break with one's past. I also understand the future can seem like a growl you hear outside your tent at 3 am. But as you wake up a little more, you discover the growls were coming from your own stomach. This is your case. You are creating your own fears. Stop feeding this monkey and he'll go away. My advice to you is immerse yourself in what you fear. Ever see how phobias are treated? Fear of snakes? They hand you a snake. And you rise to the challenge. Because you're tired of living in fear. So you're going to sit there, handle that snake, and like it. Because in doing so, you know the power this fear once had over you is letting go it's grip. Its something you actually feel melt away. So? What have we learned? There is no monster under the bed. Not anymore. You took out your big stick of reason and beat the hell out of it. Get busy. Take a chance. Crash and burn like the rest of us once and a while. It will refine you as a person. You can laugh about all the mistakes later. After you've learned how to unclench your jaw. x
welcome to the world of your ego! that little pesky bull dog that pretends to be you. And his seductive lady handler the painbody. My advice to you is to buy the book 'the power of now' by eckhart tolle. and 'a new earth' by eckhart tolle. everything you are ready for is all in those two books. enjoy. eden.
