hello all! i'm new to this forum and joined to ask this specific question...it may seem little but i really need help/an answer! i had my first love, my boyfriend, for 2 years before we broke up...after the break up we went a year without talking and then i finally met a new guy whom i started to fall very deeply for. this story is complicated by the way. for a march break trip, i went to mexico with a few friends, including the new guy, and on the second night, we slept together for the first time. we spent the entire trip together and it was great. in june we finally started dating. however, in april, my ex-bf was moving to a different country, and the night before he was leaving, the two of us hung out together and ended up sleeping together. it was great closure, and all the hostile feelings we ever had for eachother disappeared. it really was a great way to say bye, and i felt better about us and it made me realize we could be great friends. now, 10 months later, for some reason i've been having guilty feelings that i should be telling my new boyfriend that i slept with my ex. it wouldn't be considered cheating, but my new guy isn't the most understanding person in the world. i feel like he would definitely break up with me over something like this, and i really don't want to lose him... so should i just keep this secret to myself, as it honestly has nothing to do with him, and only has anything to do with me and my ex...shall i just leave it as our secret to share?
Well it depends on how guilty you feel and how much it bothers you. No one can tell you should you tell him or not. So it depends on how much it disturbs you.
no you dont need to tell him, the guilt will pass with time, ur worries are right, he will be very upset even if he doesnt act it, dont tell him he doesnt NEED to know he will live
the worse thing and i mean the very worse thing you could do is tell your new boyfriend. if you feel like you need to sit down for a confessional, do so with a priest. Unloading your guilt onto your new man is doing just that...dumping your negative and guiltfilled energy right onto him, and i can tell you by experience, i did that once and totally screwed up everything. he was cool at first, very caring and understanding, then he turned into the exorcist, calling me all kinds of names, and even hit me..that probably wouldnt happen to you. im just making a point to let you know it is a very bad idea..you can best believe, you ex is not pouring out his heart to the girl he is with about you...
you feeling guilty is your own punishment, so suffer alone. if you're not a repeat offender don't tell him. he'll probably never trust you again, and if it ends, he'll probably have a hard time trusting women again. so... if you still feel the same about him, don't tell him. just suffer alone. there's no reason to drag him down with you.
