well my friends, i sure went and fucked up. i have been under tons of stress latley....*being as young as i am, and expecting a child with in the month* so ive been having extreme panic attacs latley and not sleeping for days on end...so i decided to experiment with some designer drugs and developed a addiction fast...Beware of Methylone...(so yeah things were already ba d and i made them way worse)......anyways suply ran out last night so ive been even more anxious and eating ativan in the range of 4-6mg per hour and it wasnt helping so i did something stupid as fuck, I mixed a opiate with a benzo, after not consuming opiates in a while, so my tolarence was very low. so anyway's i snorted a 10mg pure oxy tab shortly after eating seveal ativan...And for about 30 mins i felt fucking great...then i was walking to my kitchen to get a drink, and boom. i hit the floor, passedout. then started puking i wokeup about a hour later, not really aware of whare i was or what was going on.vision blured as if my eyes had limo tinting. and i keep puking and blacking out.....i think i fucked up really bad this time...........
Altough admitting that you fucked up is comendable,realizing how stupid your mistake was dosnt matter to people on a forum,we all make mistakes and bad decisions in our lives and we have all paid the price for them in some way.I do hope you are aware of just how lucky you are! so take what I am about to say as tough love from a stranger, If in fact you pulled through this ok, I certainly hope you either get some help or learn from this fuck up! You said you will be a father soon,imagine leaving this fucked up world with a kid that has to live his/her life knowing that daddy died because he wanted to experement in an area that he had no buisness or knowledge in the first place! I hope you never do anything so stupid again,but then why should I care right? Think of the new born life that you will soon enjoy and ask youself if its worth risking it all for a couple hours of feeling better! Learn before you burn!!! And I am not sorry if this seems harsh,I have lost many people in my life to stupid mistakes,reading this post just earked the shit out of me!
yeah, it scared the fuck out of me when i relised i could of not wokenup. i gotta get my shit straight soon if i hope on giving my child any kind of good life, and i do intend on doing so... i have tryed getting into rehab a few times for one substance or another, but they make it really hard for someone with a true addiction to get in. You have to be sober for atleast 8 weeks before they will accept you into the center. if i could be totaly sober for 8 weeks i dont think i would need rehab...it just dosent make sence to me.......and angers me a lot.....but ill find another way even if it kills me, Because ill atleast have a chance that way, as is right now ill probaly be deal within the next few years... also Painfree2day im sorry if my post upset you, and id like to say thank you for taking to time to reply,
No Prob! Hope it all goes well for you and congratulations on your new life with your baby, the first time you hear that baby cry you will understand just how important you are, and the change in your life will be incredeble! Its hard to explain but you will know what I mean when it happens, you just have to experience it yourself! Glad to know you will be there, and good luck with your new future!
yeah its not right to do that to the ones you love man..i cant speak ive woken up in the bathroom on the floor a few times...heh one time my ex girlfriend found me od'ed (is that a word?) in her bathroom with a needle still in my arm...so instead of calling the cops she boiled some water and threw it on me..who the fuk does that!?!?! i got burned pretty bad...i dunno what all that means but glad ur still here..be ez from now on.. peace -J
wait... what kind of rehab makes you be sober for 2 months before you go in? that makes no sense , why would you need rehab when your already clean?
yeah there's no need to rahab if ur clean for 8 weeks...i was accepted in to rehab high as a kite it a tornado. hmmm
LOL!! but seriously, pimp. the anxiety you feel about having a kid is normal. I didn't feel anxiety in the months leading up to my first kid, because I didn't plan on being in its life. But once she came, my entire world melted away into a new and reinforced and courage-filled reality. I could do all the things I was afraid to do before. It's a very healthy de-personaliztion that happens with a kid. You lose a bit of ego, your desires are congruent to what the kid needs. Your whole world as you know it ends, but you couldn't be happier about it. Questions about life get answered while at the same time opening up many more questions. It's a feeling of complete sacrifice and of complete contentment, at least for me.
Yeah man what they said ^ Don't fuck up dude. You have a life that DEPENDS on you. If you left this earth, it would be like taking the wrong jenga block out. Without you to lean on, your kid will fall over. I just think you should sit down SOBER and think about how your life has been in the past, how it is now, and how you see it going in the future if you keep that shit up! Realize how you WANT your life to be, and know that YOU are in control of what you do. I'm stoned so that came out kind of funny but you know what I mean.
Dude you are so fucking lucky you are not Dead. The odds are you should of Died no bull shit. Not to get pissed at you becasue I had to learn the hard way also when I was younger mixing other drugs with opiates but how many fucking times to I have to post on this dam message board not to Mix fucking opiates with other drugs ecspecially Benzo's ? Man you should thank what ever God you pray to you are not in a coma, Mentally retarded from brain damage in some nursing home for the rest of your life or Dead. Please people I will say it again and again Don't mix opiates with other Drugs look what happens.Its like playing Russian roulette sooner or later the hammer is going to land on the bullet its just a matter of time. I just hope you learn man that life is very very precious and can be taken from you like that. It took me 3 od's to finally learn that. When we are young we think we are invinsible and always think it will never happen to me but thats total bull shit.
