I just wanted to share with you guys another mind blowing trip that I had recently. It was a Psytrance party (one of the best) in the middle of the nowhere, in a small forest on a farm. Decorations and sound were beautiful, and just entering the place was like slowly becoming the caracter in a cartoon. My daughter was delighted with all the lights and lasers and we danced like mad. At some point we put her to sleep and the time came for dropping some acid. Very soon the whole cartoon thing became wonderland. We were all living in a fairy tale. You could see the sound and all of us connected as one, stomping and recharging the energy levels. It is amazing how peacefull and safe you can feel on a place like that. Like we are all healing this planet and giving love and hope to everything and everybody on this plane. There is no words that can explain the beauty of every single little thing. Than I decided to go a "bit" deeper in all of that. As my wife was taking care of my daughter, I felt completely free to go on "small" journey. So, I took a humangus line of Ketamine (almost quarter of a gram). Immidiately, the things started swirling and changing and the sound got another dimension to it. The only thing I managed to do is to sit somehow in lotus position. I just relaxed and let the energy flow through me. Very quickly I didn't know who I am any more, the realities were mixing in "front of my eyes", so many things changing where you recognize just a part of something that reminds you of something you just forgot. It was actualy so hectic that I didn't even know if I need to know something, I didn't even know that that was me, everything was part of one, huge nothing, including me. There was no body, no me like energy either, just one huge nothing containing everything. From time to time I managed to recognize somebody, but in next second it was forgoten and something else apearing as a part of something third, again rounding everything in nothing. I was sitting there (as they told me later) for almost 4 hours in lotus position, completely out of body, out of this world. Than I slowly started comming back in to my body and started to recognize acid buzz. I felt so relifed that there is no more "nothing", that it is only acid buzz and me, finaly me again. It was so hectic for mind, but I somehow managed to hold on love and to continue to let energy flow through me. It was one of the most difficult trips that I had, but again very benefitial. When you come back from trip like that, you suddenly double your love and belief, even if you thought that you can't love more just a minute before that trip. What made that trip even more special was that there was one of the best fire dancers in the world, performing just in front of me. His performance mixing with those many things that were creating that "nothing" was sensational. When I came back from "nothing" he was still performing, looking at me occasionaly and smiling. I felt so honoured to be there and see him do those unbelivable things. It is easier to say that he was doing impossible, than to try to describe his performance. After those few days spent on the party, and the amount of psychodelics, I feel like I am going to explode from love and energy, my mind was again expanded in a way that I can rely on my soul much more than I was able before. It was so hard to kill the "logic" and to travel with my soul, but I managed and I am so gratefull for that. Love you all!!!
holy shit. that sounds very intense. a dissociative lsd experience. its good you came out of it with even more love. somthing like that would take me a while to re-gather myself. are you still you? thats what im most afraid of
I am more me than ever before! I keep saying this over and over again, when you are happy with yourself and hold on love, there is nothing wrong that can happen to you. When you constantly try to be the best person you can be, and if you don't go against your feelings, there is nothing to be afraid of! That is why I went through this like it is a such a nice trip, otherwise, I saw many people freak out, but it is them doing that to themself. Love and let be loved! Don't do anything to anybody what you don't like to be done to yourself! And there is nothing to be afraid of!
how good is nothing shapeshifter!! looking, at nothing - haha so good. been nothing, just floating. Sifting through nothing and going deeper into it, getting more and more absorbed by the nothingness. Looking further and further into the nothing, until you turn around see nothing but nothing. 360* view of it. Just ________. Theres no way describe that nothing. 4hrs? damm. my hat goes off to you. The most i was there was 1-2 hrs maybe. But i do understand what you mean by having no pull/push in your motives and simply living in the moment with love and compassion and i can imagine how that state of mind allows you to go anywhere and everywhere with ease and accuracy."It was so hard to kill the "logic" and to travel with my soul' Thats such a brilliant way to put it, simply handing the controls over to your soul and letting it guide you through this unfamiliar environment.
I just have to attach few more metaphores to all of that so it can be more understandable how that nothing was manifested. It was like I was sitting on the bench in the court accused of something, but I was also the judge, the jury, the reporter who was following the process and also the guy who bought newspaper and reading about whole that court process. At the same time I didn't exist, not like a body, not even like the energy, I didn't know that I exist at all. Than for hours, the scenes were going one after and in another one, bringing the third one witch is mixed with fourth one..... It looked like I (the judge and jury) was trying to find where I (accused one) did the crime, or where I mada a mistake. Sort of, I would say examining if I am happy with myself and do I really live by the rules that I felt right, am I realy doing everything from love and do I really care not to do things that can hurt somebody. After hours of cross examination (and all the time I still don't know that I exist and what is happening), the jury made a verdict that I am not quilty. Suddenly, that guy who bought newspapers disapeared, and not long after him the reporter disapeared, than jury, than judge and finaly the acused one. I slowly started comming back in to my body and started recognizing some things for a short time. Than that time extended and I managed to recognize more things that are surrounding me. Not long after that spectacular come back, I realized that it is only LSD buzz left, and sudden boost of energy started flowing through me and I felt unlimited happines and love to anything, specially the life itself. Although it was not easy, and very difficult to explain by words, it made me stronger and happier for life. I will never forget that judging by myself to myself but completely subcoscious in my life. Hope this explained a bit better what was the feeling, or at least added a bit extended "feeling" of what "nothing" was. It was not empty, but still nothing containing everything! Love you all!!!
oow the introspective examination nothing, not nothing nothing. My nothing was more of complete nothing, no process of logical thought - just riding through the matter which fills between two objects.
No man, that nothing nothing is a calm flowty feeling where you go with the smile and no weight. This was hectic man! But it wasn't process of logical thought, I told you that it was very difficult to kill the "logic" and to let the soul wonder. There was nothing logical, it was like the soul going through previous lifes or realities and all the time I didn't exist at all, not recognizing anything that soul is going through, without feelings, thoughts, existance.....nothing. Maybe that was the place where we are born from, where we go when we sleep and die. It was complete nothing containing everything. Oh I wish I can find the words to explain....
nah, i think i get it. It sounds very centered - a center not many people ever get to visit(?) remembering not all points of center are zen. "we just had a near-life experience" fightclub love it.
I had a salvia trip not too long ago where I went into a place of non-duality. I was everything and everything was nothing and there was nothing to think or see or be….everything just was. To be honest…I didn’t dig it. after I thought “no wonder we love being alive!!!”
They can't grasp it because they are not honest to them self on the first place. They go against their feelings and do things that they know are wrong according to their standards what is good and what is wrong. Than they are hiding behind the mask they put on them and try to be something they are not, hoping that if others like them, they will start loving them self again. They are literaly hiding who they are from themself, and when acid show them their real face, they don't like it at all and start fighting it, because they are trying to make themself belive that they are that mask, it can't be them. Somebody spend their whole life running from them self and changing masks, and after they complain that acid is terrible drug witch make you crazy. They don't realize that it is much easier to change, to face the things you don't like about yourself and to try to live by simple rule- don't do things that can hurt somebody and be yourself. When you like the person who you are, you don't need to run away from yourself, you can just let go and enjoy life in full, but if you don't like the person you are, the only right thing is to change those things you don't like and forgive yourself for beeing so ignorant. We all make mistakes, but it is important to learn from those mistakes and to try not to do them again. I will give you the example of one, very dear person to me. His father died and he stayed to live with his mother. Every friday after work he got wasted, from whatever he find (alcohole, pils, coke.....), whatever, and than he comes back home on Sunday night and than he feels sorry for the whole week for the pain that he is making to his mother looking at him like that. When Friday comes, what does he do? Exactly the same. So, his life comes to beeing fucked whole weekend and beeing sorry for his mother and himself for the rest of the week. Than recently, I called him to come to my place and dosed him properly with acid. It was his first time to have a nice dose, he was having those shity 20-50ug street shit before. He would have extreemly difficult time if I was not there to lead him through and talk to him. Acid just put all of his shit in front of his nose, and I did it on purpose as a wake up call. I don't know what he decided after that trip, but there were two options. One - stop doing things that you don't like and if you became alcoholic go to rehab and sort your self out, or TWO- continue doing things like before, but don't be sorry after. If that is life you choose, ejoy it like that, don't be sorry, just don't do things that you don't think are not right. If you like that way of living, it your choise, and I don't have anything against that, its your life, but I do have plenty against living your life and beeing miserable. Life is too short to be wasted, do everything and don't be sorry after, just be your self, and be proud of who you are. It so easy to say - sorry I made the mistake, I'll try not to do it ever again. But no, people tend to lie others and them self so it comes out that they never made the mistake, they go deeper and deeper in shit, like somebody will kill them if they made the mistake. And what they don't realize, usually you got caught in lieing and than there is plenty of difficulties for somebody or yourself to forgive, while if you come streight and honest infront somebody or mirror and say - YES I did the mistake in 99.9% everybody will forgive you. And it is much easier to forgive yourself with attitude like that. Its proces of becomming better person every day. Love you all!!
