well, my dad backed me into a corner again last night, and I finally was forced to come out to my dad and stepmom.. I had hoped it would go better, but it ended up with them screaming at me for 2 hours and trying to make me straight. The worst part was that we were in a restaurant, so everyone was staring at me.. I've been really depressed all day today, and have even started randomly crying. I'm really disappointed in them, theyre Christians, theyre supposed to be kind and accepting.. Thank god my mom came and picked me up.
I'm sorry, Feign. That's awful. My parents are christians too, but I don't think even they would act like that. They don't know I'm bi though. Chin up.
Hi Feign......Hang In There Mate...There Was No Justification In Them "Carrying On" In A Public Place.......(you must have so embarresed)....Give Them Time To Cool Down.......Then When You Feel The Time Is Right.........Carefully Raise The Subject With Each One Separatively.......(no shouting..o.k.) Cheers Glen... P.S....Dry Up Those Tears....You Are Young......And Have Your Whole Life Ahead Of You........When You Look Back At This.. In YearsTo Come......It Will Appear.... As No More Than One Of The Many "Speed Bumps"... We All Encounter As We Go Through Life.......
Hey Feign, Glen has good points for you. I'd like to add this. A public screaming session intended to debase you is child abuse even if you are 16. Their behavior toward you is unforgiveable. Does your Mom know you're gay? Will she support you? If I were in your position, I would not return to my father/stepmother until they mature enough to apologize and demonstrate that they actually love you more than they hate the label of being gay. Unfortunately you are now in the situation of having to be more mature than your father/stepmother. The xtian stuff they claim to believe is nothing about Christ or love, it is a symptom of a social disease called hate. Many xtians are infected with this and for some it is terminal...they will die filled with hate. But, as for you, Young man, I don't know you, will never see you, but boy, I love you. I love you because you're strong enough to survive what you have and seek help. Because you know that you are right and your father is wrong. Because you are hurting and still have your pride. You have the stuff you need to survive. I'm sorry your father can't see the strength and beauty of his own son. I'm sorry you have faced rejection instead of being embraced. For what it is worth, I embrace you, feign. I am a father myself and so I embrace you as a son... a worthwhile young man trying to find his own place amoung other men. Use this place here to talk about your growing pains and your joy too. We're not close enought to hug you but know that if we were, we would embrace you. Take care of you boy, Steve
you'll be alright bro. I can't imagine what that must be like. I know its rough man, but you will see your way through it. Don't let them bring you down. It really has nothing to do with you, its issues that they have. If you have good friends to support you, lean on them. Believe me, this will pass.
my mom has known for about a month.. And she was really upset and angered when I told her what they did to me. I talked to some very trusting teachers, and came out to my stepfather today.. All of them were extremely accepting, and they really felt the pain I was going through (my stepfather saw the pain I had been going through this past year, he was crying because he knew how horrible it must have been for me) it breaks my heart that my real father manipulated me into thinking that he'd be accepting, and my mom not be.. When I get onto the computer later tonight, I'll say some of the things he said.. Theres too much lag on my iPod to type as much as I need.. And thanks for all your responses, I hope you know how much they help me right now.
Feign, put yourself in the arms of your Mom and Step Dad. Let them hug you so you can heal from this. How sad for your father that he can't see the beauty of his son yet. Perhaps in time his vision will clear. I'm glad you found the support you needed. Hug yourself well tonight as you go to sleep, you deserve the love you have. Steve
Okay, so now I shall go into detail about what they said: I've been struggling in school this year, so they were listing reasons why it might be, and I said no to each of them. And then my dad asked: Are you going through changes? I replied with: Maybe, but who really cares if I am or not? He responded with: Did you think we weren't going to be accepting? That really made me lower my guard, and so I told them..he may as well have replied saying: Well you were right. Some of the cruelest things said were: Love the Sinner, Not the sin (this was later in the conversation, past the point where I realized I couldn't convince them it wasn't a sin, so I responded with: I AM the sin, nothing will change that, I always have been...my stepmom was furious) You telling us and expecting us to be accepting is like you stand in the middle of a highway trying to get hit and expecting us to just watch it happen (this PISSED me off, it really was the worst thing she could say) The devil is speaking to you, controlling your thoughts. You need to convert people to christianity, not to homosexuality (as if being gay was some cult) There were just so many things that got me angry, these are just a few..it really seemed to never end.
Thats so sad to hear Feign, but your lucky to have a Mom and Step-Dad who are accepting. All we can do is be honest, and allow the parents to take their own path. My Parents are Christian too, so I am worried when I plan to come out when I'm 18. Don't lose hope though...don't shut the door on them yet, you just need to distance yourselves and give them time. I know you didn't like the "Love the Sinner, Not the sin" line, but that says they still love you. Their religious belief on this is overclouding their judgment on all else. When it comes down to it your their son, and most people on this planet put family ahead of religion. But thats your Dad/Step Mom's issue now. You were honest, and thats all you owe them.
like some have said before, you have found a great place to be comforted and get advice. I dont fully understand exactly what you are going through but i have also had problems with my parents too. Also, i think that they had absolutly no right to yell at you inpublic, its private matters, and should be handled privatly. i wass supprised to see that you posted this thread yesterday, because some things that i have posted in were months old.
