SWIM recently tried some DMT twice while on mushrooms and had some very terrifying experiences. Usually he loves DMT, and has great, beautiful experiences. SWIM tried it with LSD before and had a great time. This was his first time trying with mushrooms. First DMT experience, SWIM thought he had killed his unborn nephew somehow. It was terrifying....somehow it got in his head all these thoughts like, "So, you think DMT is harmless...well look what you did....you caused your pregnant sister to lose her baby because you just went too far into some other realm." It was so sad. SWIM saw the fetus curled up like it was in her belly but somehow felt he broke it. So Saddening! He felt so sad for a few minutes, then realized there was no way he could have caused trouble with his sister and just sat, still sad, waiting for the experience to end. (SWIM's sister and baby are fine BTW.) Later, convinced that he wouldn't leave it with a bad trip, SWIM went at it again. This time he felt like he killed himself. Again thoughts of "what did you do! You thought it was harmless but now your heart stopped." This time, after the fleeting thought passed and SWIM was still heavily peaking on DMT, he kind of thought it was funny that he thought he died. But, it was still not a great feeling for a while. SWIM has done DMT since then and had beautiful experiences. The fact that he did it again at all makes it clear that the bad experiences were good in some way....at least very interesting. I wonder if SWIM had the trouble because he combined DMT with mushrooms. I've heard other people say it was okay, so I wonder why SWIM had troubles. I guess this is what some people mean when they say you can feel like you die when you smoke DMT. SWIM really did....literally.
that's why I considered psilocin + DMT as my idea of the ultimate "high" (though technically not a high). haven't done both together yet, I can only imagine.
Sometimes these difficult experences must be considered metaphorically, as in a dream. I gather you are no novice, so I will not opine. To kill onesself with DMT would be near impossible, and you knew that going into it. The loss of ego is not a personal dialogue where you say "oh i'm dying" it is simply a sensation that your life has come to completion and you accept that fact. When you "give up" and your soul/energy/body dissolves into the universe and the universe into you. All becoems One. You are Nothing. You are Everywhere. You aren't saying to yourself "it's ok i'm high, i'll come down" or "I'm at home with my friends i'm ok"..... you just dont say a damn thing because there is no more "you" all there is, is the experience. DMT and mushrooms blow my mind, I LOVE the combination. They potentiate eachother! LSD+DMT is terriffic too. LSD is more "friendly" than fungus IMO and i'm more apt to go for a high dose of DMT. Mushrooms can be a double edged sword, to take enough for a real trip, your taking enough to really spook yourself.
DMT will sometimes blast you out above your head, and sometimes it will shoot you to the piths of hell that lie beneath your feet. You can control the direction with love, believe it or not... Swim stands for someone I met, but it obviously means "ME"
So...SWIM tried it again just because he was so curious and had some shrooms and DMT left. Twice again. First time was very beautiful. Fountains of changing, incredible, three dimensional, infinitely ornate, humanoid, hallucinations. (typical good DMT experience). The second time was a little bit different because first the typical hallucinations where all tinted red, then SWIM consciously tried changing the tint....and it changed through various colors. There was a little unpleasantness after a few minutes where SWIM kind of wished it was over, but nothing scary. SWIM agrees that mushrooms are much more moody and harder to control than LSD in general. He is not sure that he likes DMT and LSD much better than DMT and mushrooms. But....mushrooms are appropriate sometimes and maybe more challenging...which can be good. I understand ego loss and that it's not thinking you died, and SWIM told me he did too. SWIM has told me that even having had some very intense DMT experiences, he has never come close to ego loss. SWIM always has a conscious in the background that is in awe and usually euphorically enjoying the whole experience. It's interesting because on mushrooms and LSD, with much less intense an experience, SWIM has experienced some level of ego loss. DMT almost seems to enhance ego in some way because even with all the effects, SWIM is always in the back of his head watching. Maybe 5-meo-dmt would be different in that respect, but not sure. It seems like most reports have some level of ego loss. It seems like n,n-DMT is much more of a visual trip than it is a mind trip, except for these few times with mushrooms. The visuals can be very metaphoric and it can be very spiritual, but for SWIM it doesn't cause as much introspection in comparison to the level of hallucinations as other psychedelics do. Maybe it's due to the duration...but it seems like 5-meo-dmt is able to cause ego loss or deep introspection in a short period of time. (I know it seems as if deep introspection and ego loss are opposites...but in some ways it seems like deep introspection leads to ego loss.) Oh....and SWIM doesn't stand for anything....it's actually a friend of mine. I used to hate all that SWIM stuff....but sometimes it's makes things feel safer somehow.
