I want company in this closet!

lol, yeah.

I still have 2 years and 4 months (when I graduate for Gr. 12) until I can finally come out a be myself.

It just feels sooooo long away, and my life seems so pointless rate now, it feels like an impossible wait till that day I can finally be myself, start dating, and have my life begin...

So I was wondering if their is stories of people who were able to have "company" in their "closet"? Is it rare to meet anyone or have a real relationship at this early stage?

*sigh*, guess its a matter of toughing it out a few more years.

You know though? Its like frusteraring, you come out to yourself, access when your coming out timeline will be, and then your just stuck waaaaittttinnngg.

lol, I have all these fantasies about hooking up with guys I crush on, and having a actual relationship in high school...its silly I know.

Out of the 150 or so guys near my age in my High School...its unlikely I am the only one...there has to be a few other gay or bi guys their...

Uh, wishful thinking - i know - just gotta keep on a waiting (waiting on the world to change...haha).

 

Dude, I know exactly what you mean. I came out to myself in 9th grade and to my parents before 10th grade started. It's been nothing but frustrating to--as you said--wait so long "have my life begin." In retrospect, I honestly don't know how I tolerated it, as I was first confronted with a 3 year wait. Now my wait's down to a little more than 6 months.

(well, I actually didn't tolerate it too well.)

As for what I've done to basically pass the time, I've formed internet friendships, because I don't have any real ones with people from my school. The first one I formed at the start of 11th grade. (wait at 2 years (I'm measuring the waits in reference to September 2008, as this upcoming summer will probably be the first time I've ever looked forward to September.)) He is gay and almost exactly three years older than me and at the time he was attending a community college, which, though much larger than HS, was just as useless. (though now he's attending a much smaller university and has had, as I see it, no real problems in finding boyfriends).

At the end of 11th grade (wait down to about 16 months), I formed a very close one with a boy I more or less met randomly on the internet. I currently talk to him a lot and I can definitely see it continuing. Suffice it to say it's the truest friendship I've ever had and that if we lived near each other, we'd be "irl" best friends. (as opposed to internet best friends, which we are.) I had the pleasure of meeting him last summer--6 months ago--because I convinced my mom to take the vacation. He's about an hour flight from me, just outside of Toronto, so I went there on vacation. He's not even gay and is about two years younger than me.

So I guess all that deals with passing time outside of school (which is still relevant). But now I'll turn to the question of what to do specifically with school itself. I share your story up to the current point in your life. It's not a singular story either; I think most gay guys have these kinds of problems. It was, from the start, a very minuscule chance I'd ever get someone in school, and my school's 1,300 kids. Now, you can try asking your parents to move; but if that's not possible, then there's not much else to do.

Obviously, just try to find friends as they are. That's not what I did. It's hard to find good friends in high school.

What I did do, however, was concentrate a lot more on school work. I developed a smug sense of intellectual superiority to my peers. For the most part, this got me by in more than one way. It kept me occupied to push harder and consistently complement my pride by getting higher grades and taking more advanced classes. I carried this over to standardized tests and as a result, my SAT scores are very good. Not only did this pass the time in itself, it's opened doors for me. I've gotten into every college/university I've applied to. And during the application process, I had the feeling I could go pretty much anywhere I wanted.

It's not exactly "fun," but I suppose it got me through. It can help if you're not doing as well in school as you could be.

 

I'm just finding myself really depressed and crying lately.

I want my life to begin, I am sick of hiding who I truly am. Its consuming me.

 

Do you think your parents would be accepting?

 

There Are Now Three Of Us In This... Musty...Old...Cramped..... Closet.............And I Think One Of Us Just Farted........I'm Outa Here......



Yours........Whilst Holding His Breath...And Tryin To Force The Door.....

Glen...

 

Check out the other thread in "Coming out and confused". I told my mom. Her love is unconditional, but she is devestated...

 

dude, once you get out of school, and come out, it's not gonna be such a big deal. You'll feel good for awhile, and then you'll realize life is still going to go on the same as before. Except people might look at you differently. But it's not like your whole life will do a 180.
Just live for the moment arty:

 

Dude, more people are bi-curious than they care to admit. There's probably a half dozen boys in your grade that are AT LEAST bi-curious.

Do some research, man. If you notice a guy constantly staring at another guy/you, chances are that he's attracted to whomever he's staring at...or he's just really creepy.

Hey, it's worth a shot!

 

Aw, hey, you got some more company here! I'm out to my friends yea, although I haven't exactly told my parents that I like girls... they've asked me before and I know they're wondering about it. It's bloody annoying trying to find a girl in the middle of nowhere, Saskatchewan.

 

Hey dude, chin up. There is an inner strength in you to get you through this period, and I know it's frustrating to feel like your whole life is on hold, all I can suggest is to use this time to learn. Reflect on yourself, your hopes and dreams for the future, how others act and react to what goes on around them. You can gain a lot of insight into others through simple observation. Keep a journal, check out supportive forums like this one.

Remember your life is never pointless! best wishes xx

 

ok first of all, i'll be honest .. I wasn't out in high school, but it was only because i hadn't accepted it myself yet!. When i Finally came out, it was hard, but I was a new person, Either way my point is gonna be, i have losts of friends who were out in highschool. I even know ppl in Very tiny conservative places where they were out, to their friends. doesn't mean u have to tell the whole school, but if u can come out to even just ur friends... u would be a lot happier, and that 2.5 year wait would come a lot faster!

 

edit

 

I was out to close friends in high school and then was outed at the end of my senior year.

I know it seems like a while but those three months will fly by. If you feel like you can't do it yet just think how long you've already kept it in, what's a couple more months.

I know how hard it is, but there is no reason to cry or be upset. Everything will end up okay. Just continue living your life and try and keep a smile on your face.

 

I sorta know how you feel. The things that helps most if getting out and having a fun time. Make more friends that you can trust and that'll be tehre for you, maybe eventually you can come out to them before turning eighteen. Even some boys/girls in my school have recently come out as bi! so stick your chin up and live life, coming out won't make life better for anyone...although possibly easier to find a BF

good luck to ya! PM me for an e-mail if you wanna talk sometime, im your age after all so what the heck!

 

Hey. I'm 17 and going through all the same stuff as you. My advice is this: Don't just wait. I mean, you don't HAVE to get a boyfriend or anything yet, but you don't have to wait til after high school. Have you told any friends yet? When I told my first friend ever (this school year, grade 12), it was such a relief to finally go out and be like, "He's hot," and not have to pretend. I still haven't come out to my parents yet because it will make things weird, so I'm waiting til I move out. But enough about me; get out there and find someone you can trust and tell him/her (not really advisable to tell a straight guy though), and if someone seems gay, find a way to talk to him. Flirt subtley, because a straight guy won't be able to tell if you're flirting. And if he doesn't like you that way, at least you have someone to be gay with.

Best of luck