Funny encounters with people selling you drugs

I think everyone has at LEAST one of these stories. So please share

I think this was two years ago and I was in NY hanging out by myself in some park. I was sitting on top of a bench smoking a cigarette just watching the squirrels play and the people go by, when this tall black dude stands in front of me blocking my field of vision. I just looked at him like "what?" and the conversation was something like this.

Dude: "wazzup babyl"
Me: "chillin here, smoking a cigarette"
Dude: "why are you all the way here by yourself?"
Me: "Well I like being alone, but that has been interrupted"
Dude: "Ohhh... so you are telling me to go?"
Me: "I'm not saying anything"
Dude "You look like you are bored or feeling low"
Me: "I'm not bored, Im just chillin here"
Dude: " Because if you are bored, I have things to entertain you"
Me: "I'm sure you do, but Im cool"
Dude: "Because anything you want, I got"
Me: "Thanks, but I dont want anything"
Dude: "But I got everything"
Me: "But I dont want anything"
Dude: "But I got everything"
Me: "I believe you do, I really dont want, need anything"
Dude: "But do you understand that I got everything... are we clear?"
Me: "it couldnt be anymore"
Dude: "So what do I got ?"
Me: "Everything?"
Dude: "Cool, so I'm gonna be standing over there, in case you want anything, because I... got everything"

 

hahaha

not as entertaining, and not as clear in my memory, but i was walking down a busy street in toronto one night (forget what street, i'm not incredibly familiar with the area, but i was staying at the grand hotel or whatever its called, and it was walking distance, closer to the mall and everything)

as i walked down the street at night, some shady looking guy popped out of nowhere and ran up on me

"hey man"

"hey"

"whats up?"

"nothing...."

"you want to make 50 bucks????"

"yeah, but i gotta go." i kept on walking....

i wish now that i had at least found out how i could have made 50 bucks, but my guess is "running an errand" of some sort.....

whatever it was, i doubt i'd have done it.....but my curiosity will forever torment me now!

 

That IS shady!!!

 

I bought 2 hits of saccharin off a 14 year old in Waikiki in 68'.Sweet!

 

ha cool i got one
i was trying to buy some weed of one of my regular dealers, ill call him joe

me:ite joe, got any buds?
joe:as a matter of fact i do
me:cool. tens or twelve-fiftys?
joe:tens today mate

i hand joe a crisp note and he shoves it in his coat pocket

joe: hold on a minit.....(rustles around in various pockets)...
me:how many pockets you got joe?
joe:enough.
joe then goes through each pocket individually explaining to me their uses. then searches them all again for my baggie for 5mins.
the whole fiasco took 15 mins overall and the weed was in his jeans all along

 

Here's a weird one:
I was buying some shit from a guy in West Virginia. We had gotten our stuff and were smoking a joint with the guy when a DEER strolls into his house through the front door (It was a swinging door). It surprised me so I jumped up, and my friend knocked over of his chair. The dealer broke down laughing so hard that he caughed. Apparently the deer was his pet that lived on his property, and we'd just never seen it before. It was cool in the end because we got to feed it carrots. Only in west virginia.

Another one was when I was selling. I was supposed to meet a kid in the CVS parking lot and I just told him to go into my truck. So I got there in my truck and I was waiting for him to show up. I see him, but he walks past me towards another similar truck to mine, opens the door, and gets in. I was like WTF so I call him. He's like, "I'm in your truck. Where are you?" I just said "Turn Around". He saw me, and I waved. He just sorta stared for a second, figured out what was going on, then shot out of that car like a lightning bolt and ran over to mine. It was hilarious at the time.

 

that happened to me but in a house instead of a car. When the person comes over to buy some weed shes like hey im in your basement, and i was like wait no your not cause i am in the basement. She was like 2 houses down in the basement haha

 

^lmfao!!!! My wife still does that with my truck!! O' Honey I'm over here!!!!

 

I don' know if this fits or not but what are you gonna do eh?

I have always tended to hook up through older more veteran members of the counter culture and a few years back I established a fantastic business relationship with an older lady who was an open line to some absolutely fantastic homegrown bud. Unfortunately with her, as with other veterans of the scene, the years had made her quite paranoid of everyone, she was even convinced her husband might be working with the cops at one time. Whenever I would score through her we would always have to meet in some desolate rural location. Typically it would in some field X amount of miles from some barn etc. etc. Now of course I could never find the location and she never had a problem giving me full directions over a cell phone, ah the irony.
The last time I saw her I met her in the middle of a 20-30 acre corn field, with the corn at least 3 feet high mind you, and she handed me a full size salmon stuffed with a pound. I didn't know what to say but I guess my facial reaction spurred her somewhat and she commented that fish were tools of Christ himself and that by stuffing this one with the smoke she was sure the outcome of our transaction would be good. That was the last time I went through her for smoke.
Sadly the weed retained the fishy smell and I had the hardest time selling it. Finally I started telling people it was smuggled over the boarder by an exotic dancer using an obvious method and then it moved with no problem.

 

One time i was supposed to buy 1gram of weed and i got 1.2g. It was great.

no jk, but i don't have any good stories that i can shar with you guys, there all confidential. O_O

 

I went to my first rave in dec 06, and for some reason, a dealer picked ME out of the crowd to see if I wanted x. I politely told him no, but was flabbergasted! I don't do anything but smoke pot, and I was stunned that he thought I wanted drugs. It was just a weird thing, but I guess i just didn't look like I had any.

I like the story about the deer though, i laughed quite a bit!

 

So one day back in December, I was picking up a half ounce of some middies from my regular guy. I get to where I usually meet him (he drives there, I walk.) and he's sitting in this car with a few of his friends. I walk up to the car, and knock on the window(which scared the shit out of them) and he's like, "Hey, want a Halls Breezer?" and handed me a halls bag. I look in it, and the half ounce is in there.

Then the next day, I was walking down to this convenient store with my brother and his friend, and one of the guys that was in the car pulls up, opens the window, and passes me a blunt. I took a few tokes, passed it back to him, and he gave me his number, and anytime I buy anything more than a half, to call him.

 

I went to buy a quarter of some supposed Kush from my guy. I wanted it broken up into 2 bags cuz my buddy wanted an 8th. I hand my guy $80 and take my two bags. I thank him and head back out to my car. Im starting my car/giving my buddy his bag when my guy comes running out to my car. I roll down my window and he tosses in another bag with another 8th in it. Anyways I dont know if he was feeling generous or just thought I only took one bag, but it was nice to get 10.5g of legit good weed for 80 bucks.

 

yo wats up....
you looking?
NO!
I can get anything.. Got the hard ,,Harry Ron,, some tree... anything you want I can get anything...

O.k. Can you get me some 2CB,Foxy,,DMT,,gels tab's.. L.. sergic acid?
Naw? Whats that ?

Usually how goes... Dumb ass street peddlers....get the fuck away from me..

Im still trying to figure out who HARRY RON is. Is he related to Harry Crumb... lol...

 

hehe Her(y)-oin. Clever.

I once got a vial of Ketamine and the guy asked me if I needed a syringe, I told him I evaporate the liquid leaving a salt content, he shakes his head and calls ME a crackhead.

 

I was looking for molly at bonnaroo and I was calling out Molly and some chick answered back and I asked her if she had any X. She was like no, my name is molly. It was kind of akward.

 

the last time i went to buy some doses, it went a little somethign like this.
i walk in, sit on the dudes bed and converse a little. buy the half strip, put it in my pocket, then proceed to watch some south park. then he pulls up his pant leg and pulls out his .357 magnum thats strapped to his cast (he broke his ankle), empties out the cylinder except for one bullet. spins the cylinder and says "lets play a game". i look at him for a second and then start laughing and said "man, no matter how much i want to, theres no way im playing this game with you". he says "alright you pussy",puts it away, then we went and played foosball.

another time i was in florida on vacation. i spent the whole week i was there looking for weed, only found college kids with beer. people came up to me asking if i had weed, nobody could find any. the last night i was there i was walking on the beach and meet these two kids drinking beer. i sit down next them and ask for one and they give it to me "only because I'm wearing a zeppelin shirt". we sit talkin about music and drugs i tell them im lookin for weed but they dont have any. we talk for about 30 min, fuck with some college chicks, and then they ask if i still wanna smoke. im all surprised and shit and im like fuck yeah so we walk across the street and down the block, get in their car and they roll up two fat blunts and we just drive around smokin and listenin to bob marley. it was really fuckin cool, i think iwas like 13 at the time. the shitty thing was though that they said they were on that beach in that exact spot every night that week, and i didnt meet them until the last night.

 

We saw her too. Blonde hair with a couple friends and she had a cardboard sign around her neck that said "my name is molly". We talked to them for a bit, they were interesting.