All kinks are about power...?

Something I think a lot about, so I thought maybe I'd throw it out there and see what y'all think: most kinks and fetishes, if you boil them down, seem like they come down to either having or losing power.

So obviously bondage is an easy one - people who like to be tied up obviously get turned on by losing power. Basically all the BDSM and D/s stuff is overtly about power.

But weirder stuff, too - like foot fetishes, that seems like it's about worshipping someone's feet, right? So, not being in control.

Pedophiles, I feel like that's related to power too, because they have more power over a kid.

Bestiality also = power; if you're getting fucked by a horse, you're not in control.

There are a couple of kinks I can't figure out, though - like plushies. I don't know a whole lot about them, but pretty much they dress up in fuzzy animal outfits and then hump, right? I have no idea where that one comes from.

I dunno, what do you guys think?

 

I like to feel my girl up while she's sleeping

 

Spoken like a Yankee fan. lol

 

well sex is about power if you mean male and female energy - but thats male and female "power".

If someones into say "body lotion" , or dressing up in sports gear, which one is the one in power?
Or some wacko who gets off on playing with , wait for it, balloons!

Answer neither.

 

OMG I've heard about the balloon fetish! It's like girls popping balloons, right? SO WEIRD!

 

power
or
escapism

not all, just most, and thats just my opinion not exactly fact-based

 

In BDSM a person who enjoys being tied up is allowing someone to tie them up. They do not lose power, but are giving it to a trusted partner. A submissive is also always in control and can say "stop" at any time, and it is respected. A dominant is given the permission to use bondage, and will stay within the limits dicatated by the submissive. They only have the power given to them by the submissive. To take more is a violation of trust, and rarely done in true BDSM relationships.

I have been into the BDSM lifestyle since I was 16, so 20+ years. I do not think that BDSM is overtly about power because power is not what the lifestyle is about. Most people in BDSM have a very personal way to describe what the lifestyle means to them. For me it is the most intimate, open and honest way to express my desires to my husband. Not so he can control me, or I can control him, but so we can explore our wants needs and desires together. Like you he believed it was about power dynamics. Now, since he has lived it with me for 9 years, he sees it differently. He is hooked!

I find more power issues to be in vanilla relationships. The withholding of sex to get even with a partner tactic is a perfect example. Or having sex with someone only if they have been good, like a reward.

It's all about perception. I see BDSM as a foundation for a wonderully fulfilling relationship and live the lifestyle with great respect for it. I hope to enjoy it for another 20 years. Others see it differently, which is fine. Its what makes us individuals.

 

In a relationship were one partner is truly masochistic power is relative no one really has it, one thinks he has the power, the other knows she has power because she has given it to him, did that make any sense ? My chick gives me the power because she knows she can trust me completely, that security is her power to live the lifestyle she needs to live. Pain and humiliation are the essence of her sexual and emotional release. The need to be dominated is the most important part it's not that she wants it, it is that she needs it to feel fulfilled. Maybe in role or game playing it becomes about the power, but as a life style it is more about love and the understanding that one trustes the other. I don't know how to explain it well. I'm new at it, but I know my power to control was given not taken, it can bring two people incredibly close to each other.

Peace

 

I think most kinks /fetishes can ( or are supposedly) traced back to early ages.

Sexual awareness doesnt just "appear" - its mixed with other things I suppose , so you have other things associated with a sexual reaction.

I wonder if control type things develop due to sex being seen as "naughty" in decades gone by , or by attraction to those with power or authority.
Maybe control is the opposite of apathy or disinterest.Or control means freedom to do whatever you want instead of finding negotiating shared interests an arduous activity.
Who know?

 

Technically, a fetish is a sexual attraction to something inanimate and non-sexual, such as shoes or hairbrushes.

There are men who will see a beautiful woman and think not about touching her in any way, but only of feeling and smelling her nylons or panties, or of wearing her bra.

I don't think fetishes are about power.

Kinks are often about power...But I really dislike that aspect of them. I want to see everything as equal and shared. Except in cases of violence or coercion, it really is.
I don't know why people want to make it about power...That part of it is pure fantasy, and an obstacle to intimacy.

 

Actually my parents were married when I was born.

His ideas would be my husbands not mine, as I am Eden. I seek no sympathy for the lifestyle I have chosen I rather enjoy it. The discipline needed to live it has enriched my life in ways I did not think possible.

He does not stand before me or behind me, nor I him, out of fear or a need to conquer or be conquered. We seek pleasure from one another, whether it be in the form of romance, or a whip depends on the mood. Either way everything we do is firmly wrapped in love and trust for one another.

My husband is lucky though....just ask him and he will agree. I am the one his mommy warned him about <wicked grin>

Sex without fear and pain...
is like food with taste or smell.
~Marquis de Sade~

 

You are deep, and right on, no sympathy needed in your case as you say it is a lifestyle choosen not forced, the pain and pleasure are one, and the love and trust are all important to this kind of relationship. Once into it it does not seem kinky or strange at all, you can get closer to someone than you ever thought possible.

Peace

 

EXACTLY!

Can I give you a huge cyber hug???

 

Yes please do, and one back at ya. All your stuff is DEEP and right on the money.

Peace.

 

You're going to make me blush

(((((silverhippy)))) There's your cyber hug.

 

Heart going bumpity bump, thanks for the hug, and back at ya. Damn even your hug is deep.

Peace

 

:hug:

You have put me in a wonderful mood. Careful......

 

I have no fear, you are the same age as my chick, the lifestyle you chose and your convictions are the same as hers it's like talking with her. Glad about your mood, keep it and rock your husband when you get your hands on him. Lucky guy.

Peace.

 

So you understand from a personal perspective....that explains things. I have been reading yours posts, and cant wait to talk to you more. You have a lot of insight, and I am sure I could learn something.

I would rock his world, but he is probably still recovering from last night..<wicked grin>

 

I do understand, I was not hip to it at first but am learning fast. My chick was also 16 when she felt she needed this kind of life, she never lived it before because she never felt safe enough with anyone else before me. Feel free to talk with me anytime, I think I can learn from you also. And rock your man anyway I'm sure he can take it.

Peace.