My 2 1/2 year old is very vocal and is using this to really makes us crazy. We don't swear, expect on a very occasional circumstance but he has taken up using these words, we have quit swearing at all, we know that its our fault for every swearing. He says it all the time, I thought that if I ignored it, it would go away, as we don't use punishments. I've tried talking about how they aren't nice words and mom and dad shouldn't use them ever either. Although I then he thinks that its more fun! Any ideas? He also yells stop all the time, especially when he wants us to respond in some way to him. He has been doing this for months, we don't yell at him, we do use the word stop occasionally, but have quit using it as much. He does it I think to get a reaction from us. We have done the change the subject thing, and he still will yell at us "stop" . we are very kind and gentle discipliners, we believe in positive discipline. My husband has been very frusterated with it lately and is giving him a sort of time out. It really doesn't help long term, we would have to do it all day. I try to really validate him and ask why he is saying stop what is it that he needs from us, why try to interact, as he is our first born and has high attention needs. Any new ideas would be great!!!! Thanks so much for your time! __________________
have him tested for terrettes? or however its spelled probly isnt the problem, but i have a freind with it who pretty much acted that way since she could talk
I gave my son a place where he could swear-- the compost heap: back of the yard, no neighbors on that corner, just a railroad right of way, wasn't in the house. Taught him there's a time and place for everything (even before college --for the South Park fans) and you behave as a situation demands. He stopped swearing for many years and has picked it up again as a teen. No big worry, as he still knows when NOT to swear.
Your son swears because he enjoys watching you get upset about it. You're entertaining him and don't even know it. Totally ignore him when he does it, and maybe try to make up some nonsensical words to give him an alternative. Bang your thumb with a hammer, say something like booglamoogla!!! Bet he picks it up. x
If he has no consequences for his actions, why would he stop? You say you don't use punishments, does this mean no discipline? It has become a game and he knows that he has the control over you. He is only 2 now, imagine if you don't get control before he gets older! Swearing I dont find a big deal, but they need to learn there is a time and place. I let my son use naughty words at home (by bad words, all he knows is poop, butt, and boobs). He can use them as much as he wants when he is with us, but he will get in trouble if he uses them when we are out or around friends. For worse words, I put a stop to them right when I hear them. I consider it respect for me, and those around us. I have never used the soap, but my son once decided to brush his teeth with it and got totally grossed out. Now, if I mention having to wash words out of his mouth, he straightens up. Kids need discipline, reasoning is great, but does not always work.
My son's first words were "Puck You." And yes, he learned them from mommy and daddy. I taught him to say "Oh Man" like Swipper says. That worked for a couple of years. But now the bad words are back. On the way into our house this afternoon he said, "Move it fat ass." He's five years old. And yes, he got a long time out for it. Everytime he says what I now refer to as "Potty Words", I say, "What did you say?" Sometimes he'll say, "I mean Oh Man." Other times he'll say "I said Damn It because I meant damn it." If he feels it's justified he will use the bad words. Like if he hits his thumb with a hammer he thinks it's okay to swear. But if he just dropped a toy, it's not okay to say them. I think that is because I still have a potty mouth in traffic. And daddy has never tried to stop. When he's not upset I talk to him about why we don't use grown up bad words and that mommy and daddy shouldn't use them either. But I don't feel like I can punish him for saying words I say myself. The "fat ass" thing just got to me so he got punished. Kathi
my daughter is the same age and going through the same exact thing. One day she got into her brother's penaten cream and was smearing it all over her toys. I told her to stop, and she replied with, "SHHHH BITCH!" Picked that one up from daddy... Another time we were out at a returaunt and she dropped her food on the floor, and said, "fuck!" That one she would have picked up from both me and daddy... We have really started to watch what words we use around here. I have definatelt found that the more i say them, the more she says them. And really, there's no reason to use words like that anyway IMO, so I'm trying to cut them out all together. The best thing we have done this far is to ignore it. If she gets really out of hand with one word and won't stop, then I tell her that's an adult word, it's an icky word. It has been working this far, so I'm hoping it will continue. As for the yelling...sometimes I just yell the exact thing right back. DD gets a really perplexed look on her face and I say, "ya, it's not nice is it?" Other times I ask her to stop yelling, but she sometimes ignores that, so I start to goof around with her instead and just kind of ignore the yelling...or I'll say don't yell while I'm tickling her and she's laughing too hard to do anything. She forgets about it and ends up having more fun playing.
My cousin.. when he was a little under two.. he used to try and sweep the floor.. everytime he dropped the broom he said "oh shit." He doesnt say it anymore. His mom just told him it was a bad word. My daughter is two, she liked the word "tit". Thanks to her dad. Who eventually got bitched out by me.
When my son started testing his limits with language we did something similar to drumminmama, we would walk into the bathroom and he could use all of the "potty talk" he wanted to in that room. He eventually stopped because he was being removed from the forum that he was showing off for. I don't know how much you can reason with a 2 1/2 year old. They're usually cause and affect at that age.
Sorry if this is rude, but...Who in their right mind tries to reason with a 2 year old???? I may not have kids, but I've worked in daycare long enough to tell you that in my experience, the kids with the most pushover parents, or "gentle discipline," whatever you wanna call it, were the WORST behaved. Your kid does it bc he gets attention for it, period. There's no use asking him why, because he doesn't know why. And even if he did know why, he doesn't have the vocabulary to articulate it to you...and if he did have the vocabulary, why would he want to explain it to you???? He's overpowered you already. If I were you, I'd take back the reins before its too late.
Jgirl and Strawberry fields: some parents have to UN-model what they have modeled. I don't think a simple swear word, even when out in public to embarrass the parents, is worthy of punishments. running off, bolting across the street, doing something personally endangering, yeah, control the kiddo, but a mere word like almost every poster on here uses? Don't give the kid the power of anger (or mortification, of whatever the REAL problem is). redirection and substitutions work fine with many kids. what you get out of it is kiddos who can work things out with irritating classmates, babysit autistic kids and do it well, etc. my kid may think heavy metal is a high art form, but he is kind hearted.
I totally agree with you on redirecting when it comes to swearing. I personally do not find it acceptable for my 4 year old to use some of the words I use, such as fuck, damn, and shit. One time, he was using damn when he was playing his video game. When I asked him what he was saying, he said that he was frustrated and damn was the word that kept coming out (yes, he got it from me). I talked to him about how I do not find it acceptable for a child to use the word. I gave him alternative words (dang and darn) to use in the situations, which he found were hilarious words and he started using those instead. Since it has been explained to him that he is not allowed to use those words, if he were to use them, yes he will have consequences for his actions. Again, he has been redirected and reasoned with, if he chooses to go against that, it is his choice. I have to set my boundaries, whether it is running into the street, going to bed at night, or something simple like swearing. I'm sorry but a child is a child, they cannot do everything adults do. Yes, everyone here and all around us use swear words, myself included. I also smoke and drink, I will not allow my 4 year old to those things either just because everyone does. My 15 year old stepson has been allowed to use swear words now that he is older because knows when to use them appropriately. He chooses not to because he himself finds them disrespectful as that is how he was taught. My form of raising my children has not led to angry children, quite the opposite...they know that if I say something, I will follow thru. We need to raise children with structure, and you can only reason and redirect so much. Consequences are an important part of life, we all live with them every day and it has to be taught to children. Like I said before, Mavi is allowed to use "bad" words at home. I cannot stand a potty mouth kid, I remember even being annoyed with them as a child in school because it is so ugly and disrespectful. My parents swore all the time, I don't remember feeling angry one bit that I was not allowed to use those words...just as I was never angry that they didn't give me a beer LOL. When I got older, I began using them regularly and was allowed...but there is no reason a 4 year old needs to be saying fuck...sorry JMO.
