My son has such a temper and I don't really know how to deal with it. He's just about to turn 1 and he throws horrible temper tantrums daily. If he doesn't get whatever it is he wants at the moment he will throw him self on the floor (often smacking his head on things) scream and sometimes even hold his breath. When he's really upset he holds his breath for 30 seconds or more and I panick. Once his lips started turning blue. It's really scary and I have no idea what to do. I know you can't punish a one year old, or even reason with them. The only way I know how to deal with it is to try to give him whatever he wants to avoid a bad situation, but sometimes this is impossible, and I feel that giving in to him all the time will just make it worse in the long run. He needs to learn that he can't always have what he wants (like a popsicle right before dinner etc.) but how do you teach that to such a young kid? It seems impossible to keep him happy all the time. If he's on the ground he wants to be picked up, if we're holding him he wants to be put down. If we close a door to a room he wanted to get into he'll have a fit. if he sees something way up on a shelf that he wants and we dont give it to him he has a fit. It just seems to be like this almost all day long, everyday. Any advice would be great, or even and suggestions on books to read regarding gentle discipline etc would be appreciated. Thanks.
Ah, the old holding-the-breath trick. There's no reason to panic--no one ever died just from holding their breath. Unless he's holding his head underwater, the worst thing that could happen is that he passes out...and then, he'll immediately start breathing again and wake up. I am concerned, however, about his rages at this age. I once knew a mom who's kid had rages, and she found out severe food allergies to wheat, dairy, and food additives set him off. I'm not a fan of caving in to temper tantrums, but because of his age, I'd talk to his pediatrician and maybe try to make some changes to his diet.
Have you looked into baby sign? lots of kiddos are mad over not being able to really communicate. I'd examine where the kid has gotten the demands, and start with yes, BUT. Yes you can have a popsicle (frozen juice is better: maybe even in an ice cube tray so he CAN have one) BUT it will be for dessert. Now can you help me...(whatever) .?
stop spoiling him and make him understand that he is not the center of the universe, next time he has a fit just make him sit somewhere he really hates so he can assoicate having a fit with being put in a crappy place and you always have to change your tactics, these kids learn so fast and adapt, they will use you anyway they can to get the thing they want
i'd definitely look into food allergies.... try a elimination diet and see how he does then.... there's some more info here on that... .Allergy Avoidance Diet or just do a google search and see what you come up with.... some of it is just the age (my son is also one...so i know what you're going through, momma, i'm right there in the trenches with you)...however, there may be underlying issues that may be worth looking at....
