won't pick up phone

Yeah but what are you gonna do, reverse what you did? It's great that you're honest enough to admit that you messed up but it's time to let go.

 

Yeah, a LOT of guys would do well to realize that if a girl kinda seems that she doesn't want to be with you, SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU. End of story.

All the romantic ideas that you've got in your head that you think will win her back? THEY WON'T WORK.



This is the kind of persistence that leads to depression, stalking and eventually a murder-suicide crime scene.

 

That is the single cutest thing I have seen today...
That said, I'm sorry for your loss, and if you want to talk to her, that's one thing, but don't make it weird. If she continues to ignore you, don't pursue it. It seems like you're trying to move on, so maybe you should just forget the whole thing. It just doesn't look promising at this point.
*huggles* Good luck!

 

Do you need semaphore?

Move on! Let her go! Count your blessings! It's for the best!

You might have felt that it was love...but it seems the both of you had some pretty serious issues with intimacy, trust and communication. It seems like you barely knew each other...there was no empathy whatsoever, just games and brinksmanship.

That relationship was a wreck! Consider yourself lucky, and learn from the mistakes!

 

Thanks for the compliment about what I said. That made me feel a bit better.

I'm moving on... It's just that it's difficult at times.

by the way, you look very pretty in your sig pic. Thought I'd return the compliment.

 

Thanks! It's okay, though. Cute is my weakness. If cuteoverload.com and icanhascheezeburger.com kept track of how much time I spend on their sites, they'd have a restraining order against me...

 

Ok an update. The relationship is obviously over of course, but I wanted your opinions on something...

We talked on the phone about 2 weeks ago and she said she wanted to end it. I didn't really beg to save it or anything.

Anyways a couple days later I decided to see if there was anything I could do to revive it. I called and it went to voicemail. I sent flowers and asked for forgiveness, etc. And also said, if she didn't like this and wanted it to end, to tell me.

She never responded. Anyways I sent one more flower set after that. Still nothing.

Few days ago I caught her online, and messaged her, asking if what I'm doing is annoying her. She just replied with yes, she wants to be friends only, but that I'm forcing her. I told her I would leave her alone from now on.

I know, I should have let it go after our last conversation. However I sensed some hope in her voice, and wanted to see if I could salvage it. Plus she didn't reply to let me know to stop, once I tried contacting her again. That only gave me false hope.

What are your thoughts of how she reacted to me? I mean we did share good times together too. She could've just called or emailed me to stop contacting her. It would've been easy to do, and I would've saved some money and anguish. I didn't betray her or do anything to royally screw her up. Why would she do this? A way to punish me? To pump up her own ego?

 

Ok. Now, you'd better go for some counseling. You've got some pretty serious issues-- abandonment being the most obvious to me right now. You're starting to sound dangerous. Please, get some counseling, for your own sake, and for the sake of your future relationships.

 

What issues? I'm fine. Just asking questions on a forum. Geez.

 

seriously, let it go. the relationship is not salvageable at this point. let it go, move on, find someone else, do not push it with her, do not send her flowers, dont do anything romantic or beyond the basic boundaries of friendship with her

 

No, Fox1198, you're not fine. You're obsessing over a failed relationship and refusing to accept reality. To everyone in this forum, based only on what you have described, there is no question that she is done, has moved on and is not encouraging you in any way. To you, however, this thing is far from over. You are misinterpreting everything she's done and said. You have absolutely no empathy for her whatsoever. At this point, it hardly seems that you even recognize her as a human being. Whatever it is she represents to you, you are terrified of believing it's gone.

Your feelings and desires are causing a disconnect between your mind and reality, and you need a professional to help you reconnect.

If you don't get that help, things might get ugly. Certainly, your future relationships will suffer for it.

I don't want to see you become bitter, but that would typically be the next phase for someone in your position. It could take months to even get there...and in the mean time, you'll probably force her to get a restraining order against you. It's pretty certain that, at this point, you are freaking her out and scaring her. That's why she's trying so hard to avoid a confrontation. You are not behaving like a reasonable person right now.

 

This was the line that tipped me off to the extent of your desperation, and the nature of your issue. You seem like a drowning man grasping for a life preserver. It's not that you complimented her on her picture...it's that you were so self-conscious about the need to justify having made the compliment.
I wish I could say exactly how this gave me that feeling. I guess it fits a pattern that I've observed before. Maybe others could help me explain this.
The way you left off the I at the beginning of "Thought I'd" reminds me of Eyore. Eyore was severely depressed and attention-starved. He played the pity card exclusively and relentlessly.

 

Ok I think you're going WAY overboard with your analysis. I have stopped contacting her completely for a while already (2 weeks). I'm mostly just venting here.

 

Ok now that's a really stupid comment to make. She said my comment was cute, and I thought I'd return the compliment. That was that and nothing more.

Maybe it's you who is over-analyzing everything. Take a step back and chill.

 

standingseated, did you take Intro to Psychology too?? OMG, I just adored that class!

Srsly, he asked for relationship advice, not a psycho-analysis. It may look pathetic to you, but it sounds like he tried a last-ditch effort and it just didn't work- further evidence that the relationship is over. He's not going to go crazy and kill her and make a coat out of her skin. Cool the judgements. It's getting obnoxious.

PS: The last guy I broke up with (few years ago) had a really hard time with the break-up. I told him I wanted to be friends, and that's what I did- I was his friend. I helped him through it, talked to him just about every night on the phone for about a week, even putting a new guy on hold a few times to help my friend, until he said he needed to be away from me to finish healing or he would never be free of his attachment to me. When he said he was sad, I listened. When he said he was angry that I ended it, I heard him. I didn't always like what I heard, but those were his feelings and he wanted me to know them. I shared my feelings with him also, but gently, since he took it so much harder than I did. When he pulled little stunts to make me jealous, I smiled and let him have his fun. Never did I lead him on or make him thinkw e were anything but friends.
This girl said she wanted to be friends and then seemingly ignored him (maybe not, but that's how it came off in his posts). It may not be entirely her fault either. Maybe she was creeped out and didn't know exactly how to handle the situation, but still. When you say "I want to be friends," you should mean it, not just say it to make the other person feel better.

 

I agree. People should say what they mean and mean what they say...But, especially in break-ups and other awkward, emotionally-charged situations, they usually don't.
Has anyone ever told you that you're too nice a person? The way you treated your ex sounds like exquisite torture to me. Breaking up is like ripping off a band-aid. I suppose some people prefer to rip out one hair at a time.
Still, he put up with it, and it made you feel better...So, I suppose that's all fine.

 

Ha! Half the time, I'm told I'm a callous bitch and the other half I get told I'm a bleeding heart that needs to toughen up.
So you don't believe in remaining friends with exes? Or is there an "untouchable" period with you? He wanted to talk- he wanted to vent his feelings. I gave him that opportunity. What's so wrong with that? I prefer to think of myself as patient, rather than "eeeew, he's stalking meee!" and running away like a child...
When he was ready to let go, he did. End of story.

 

Exes can be friends if neither of them ever felt more than a friendly bond with each other to begin with...Like Jerry and Elaine from Seinfeld, for example.
You did what you felt was right at the time...I don't mean to second-guess you. I wouldn't recommend that for everyone, though...and I couldn't do it. It would be like keeping a corpse in the house: a rotting reminder of the life that was, and now is not.

 

I agree this guy needs to move on, but saying he needs professional help is a bit much. I think every guy out there has had some girl he was really into that he tried to 'rekindle' the relationship with.

But, you just need to embrace the fact that you had a good time with a person at one point, keep the memories and move on, there are PLENTY of great people out there.

The MOST important thing is that you are happy with yourself. If you truely are, good people come into your life.