hi, i am bi (male), and i have a question for you all that has me wondering for a long time. i've known my bestfriend (male) for about 5 yrs.. he doesn't know or at least from what i think doesn't know that i'm bi. but he does weird stuff that sort of makes me wonder if he is bi too. i'm afraid to tell him im bi because i dont want to lose him as a bestfriend, so im trying to figure him out first before i tell him i'm bi. he has a girlfriend who he's been with for a few years, too. but anyway, he does stuff that normal stright guys don't usually do, like pinch/touch my nipples, rub my arm, etc. a few times while playing around he would grab my hand and we'd cross fingers like a couple would do for a short moment. if im undressing he would look at me if he knows im not looking (i can tell he's looking at me). stuff like that, but when he's around his other friends he acts very manly/macho, but he acts totally different when he's alone with me. very caring and on occassions said "i love you" the other day i asked him if he had any secrets he never told anyone, he said yeah "i'm gay" - then laughs and said just kidding. i thought about the possiblity him being in denial. so now i have been thinking could he be doing this to test if im gay? maybe he's not bi but wants to know if i am and is putting me to the test? he talks a lot about girls and having sex with them, but why does he act this way then? i want to tell him i'm bi but i am afraid and him being bi would make it a hella time easier to tell him the truth. obviously no one here knows the real answer, but what you all think?
Seems to me, if what you are describing to me is accurate and not wishful thinking, your friend has the hots for you. Here is my suggestion, invite him over, put some porn on, have a couple drinks, then pull your cock out and start masturbating. If he is bi and likes you, he will go for it, if not you can play it off pretty easy by saying you got drunk and horny and couldn't stop yourself. That worked for me both ways more than once.
yeah but what about him having a girl? and talking about girls often? i know u can be bi and still talk about girls but im bi and i dont talk about girls that often even though i still like them. i keep thinking he's acting like this to find out if im bi/gay
I am certainly not going to encourage you to break up a relationship. If you feel strongly about not breaking them up, then the rest is not relevant. If this is the case then I would consider this a manipulation and would feel very uncomfortable continuing a friendship with some one who chooses to "Test" me rather than come right out and ask. If you believe this is the case, then turn it on him, ask him if he is gay, without bringing your feelings into it at all.
It sounds like he's trying to figure you out (and you're trying to figure out him lol),so I think in some way someones gotta say something make some sort of move suttle or otherwise or forget it completely,you may not have all the time in the world on this one.He could change his mind.He maybe a little funny about it if he's acting real macho otherwise so I'd tell you be easy on him but do something before you lose this chance.If it's suttle enough and he's not gay/bi you can wiggle out of it easy enough without the risk of losing him as a friend.Personally I think he's gay/bi or at least curious so try a suttle move. Peace,. J
yeah but he could be "testing" me to find out if im bi because he's bi too, or he could be "testing" me only because he's curious and doesn't want to ask me directly. if he's really trying to "test" me, why? maybe it can only mean he's bi too? how often do straight guys put their hands under your tank-top shirt to touch your nipples. i dont know many.. but i wonder if he's doing it so i can repond back or if he just wants to know im bi/gay without asking. he might want to know without asking me.. he is my bestfriend after all and bestfriends want to know as much as possible about eachother... the problem is differating the curiousness of someone wanting to know your gay or because your gay yourself and want a relationship. this is what im trying to figure him out at. if he's trying to figure me out like Joey said, why? would a straight guy be that curious to find out? again, im only assuming he's just testing me, not because he's gay or bi.. i just need everyone opinion on wether they think hes str8 or bi/gay based on how im describing him. i also forgot to mention that a few times he tried to bite my nipples but looked like he changed his mind,.. lol. he has a thing for my nipples though it seems rather werid for a str8 guy. can you possibly be obsessive with a girl and also be bi? well i think im going to sleep on it, to figure out how to approach it. love you all.
Sounds like he's totally hitting on you scub it seems sorta obvious to me. What do other people think? Peace,..J*
I am bi myself and it I had a very good friend and wasnt sure if he was totally straight or not, I would test him. Not sure if I would try and bite nipples(as I think that would blow my cover!) but I certainly would be testing him alot and before I were to say anything I would have to be pretty damn confident that he is bi.
yeah i agree, i think i will start "testing" him, too. honestly, i dont think he would have anything against me if were to tell him i was bi, but something gives me the feeling he probably suspects that i am bi. i think the best solution to test him without being so obvious would be to tell him about this bi dude calling me asking to chill, etc, and what he thought about it., im just unsure what i should expect to hear..how would a 'typical' str8 guy react? this is obviously easier said than done since i don't know how a str8 guy would react to that question. i guess i'll figure how i should go about it.. i can almost read his mind and something tells me he is curious about my sexuality, i just have to figure out WHY he's curious. complicated situation i'm in.
How exactly does he play with your nipples? In a funny way or kind of sexually way? Whatever he does, do you think it would work if you played with his nipples back?
no not really in a sexual way as in rubbing, etc.. more or less he just pinches softly. but a couple times i had a shirt on and he put his hand up my short-sleeved-shirt to do it. in another words he did it to touch them, i've done the same to him but i always did it to him thru his shirt. he likes to bite me too, always biting my upper arms and biceps. is that a hint? like i said earlier, he has a thing for nipples and has almost tried to act as if he was going to bite them but he backed off quickly.. like he wanted to do it but didn't want to look gay.
I think your best bet would be to come out to him personally and say "Hey, I need to tell you that I am bisexual. I really hope that doesn't make anything weird between us." And then when' he is comfortable he should... but him playing with your fingers says he's bi too.
well, we know that doesn't work as planned all the time. if it were that easy we wouldn't have all the anit-gay issues we have now in this world. i will tell him once i find out if he's too. if he's not, then there is no harm in not telling him. it's not like he's ever asked me directly, so it's not like i'm lying to him, he never asked. he could be in the same shoes i am in..
Damn, wish I had a friend like that... the touch and play that goes on between you guys sounds like an invitation to touch and play more. It also sounds real sweet and fun. What happens if you initiate the play? Is that cool with him? I'm with most of the guys here, I think he's trying to tell you something about himself...what are you gonna tell him?
You are making it way more complicated than it has to be. As I said, if what you are describing to us is accurate, then there is no doubt in my mind that he wants you and I say go for it before you die of old age.
I have a friend exactly the same situation as you. He started rubbing my chest after i had been to the gym and commented on my pecs so i said that he was turning me on and he was like am i really?? I said no but what would you do if i was beng serious and he replied with a shrug and said nothing. 2 weeks later i told him i fancied guys aswell as girls and he said he had a hunch but doesnt care in slightest who i have sex with as he is my best friend and wouldnt change a thing. i think your friend would be very similar, just say something to him. good luck and keep us updated!
ok so i guess you're saying he's str8? and he was only testing you? i didn't think this was common. i would of asked him why he was testing you and just didn't asks.. i'd be curious what his reply would be.
:applause: To me it sounds like you really don't want him.If you want him make a move,it won't kill you.If you just want to be friends be friends and forget anything sexual.Maybe you are'nt sure what *you want.I do feel like we're going in circles here.
