"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

I still have 400-500 things left to do with an egg.

 

haha thats realy funny man. im trying too.


I cannot come into work because i couldnt make scrambeled eggs cause the supermarkets all out... people have been testing so many things on them

 

The warden says I have 30 days in the hole before I can even think of re-entering the population.

 

****WHOOOOOOOO****FANTASTIC****.......That Means We Have....30days....Of .....Peace.....Love.....Tranquility.....And Harmony..... to Look Foward To.......YES FELLOW POSTERS........THIS IS THE MOMENT WE HAVE ALL PRAYED FOR.......


Cheers Glen.

Oh..And..P.S......I Can't Come Into Work Today Cauuuuuuse...I'm Sitting Here.......Visualising A World......Free Of The Ever "Obnoxious" Crummy.....

Methinks I Have Seen A Vision Of...."PARADISE".......YEEEEEEEEES!!!!.

 

someone farted in the chat room......

 

my tapeworm is acting up.

(an employee actually used this with me)

 

The Scooby Doo True Hollywood Story is on.

 

I'm surrounded and they are draining the moat, I gotta get the oil heated up...

 

my cat commited suicide

 

I can't come into work today because I want to paint my bedroom tartan and I'm trying to locate a place that sells tartan paint!

 

Because the poster above me kept me awake all night with his playing the bagpipes and painting his room tartan......

 

Because its the 12th, and the 12th is the devils day.

 

My bed kidnapped me and held me hostage.

 

I am trapped in an invisible box.

 

I'm meltinggggggggg........

 

I am stapled to a dead monkey.

 

I'm watchin the grass n weeds grow......

 

Someone burgled my entire wardrobe.

 

Too busy watching QVC

 

there happens to be an alien life form growin in my fridge, it keeps saying "take me to your leader", I keep saying, "We don't have any".......