hi, new reader first time poster. thought i might share my first three trips with you guys (ill tell the them in seperate posts). also have some misc questions at the end. sorry for the loose/poor language. before cid, id never taken any drug before. hell, id never even got drunk. i cant really explain why the impulse overcame me, all i can say is that i felt a mounting despair and need for change/stimulation. this began the summer before my senior year. i needed some kind of release, an escape from reality. i hung around erowid and eventually said fuck it. i can handle this. winter break some friends managed to wrangle me two hits, although i cant really say for certain what quality it was, having nothing to compare it to. it came from a trusted friend, so im going to assume it was semiquality stuff. was two hits in dropped in water. my friend drove me up to the woods and i drank it, putting on headphones and blasting new order. we stayed out there for a half hour. nothing. i actually became belligerent, what the fuck did my friend give me. this sucked. i was so ready. coincidentally, my friend got high as shit afterwards. we went to an innout to get some food. about half way thru the meal i noticed how fucking soft the booth was. thats the deal, it was hard as shit. i was melting into it. looking around, my hands seemed about four times larger than normal, and i couldnt understand how i fit frys so fucking large in my mouth. i wanted to lay my head on my double cheeseburger and fall asleep. at some point i figured it out, jesus, im about to go on an acid trip. i guess my friend noticed that my eyes were pure black and deftly maneuvered me out, passing by some cops on the way to the car. i was laughing my ass off. we had no idea what to do. we drove up to this guys house. he lives in a gated community and we sat outside the gate a while. the whole time i kept rising in activity, slurring words and babbling incoherently about the most stupid random shit (the car, the soda i brought, etc.). i started bitching for a blanket. my friend became paranoid and told me not to freak out on him. besides this body high and rambling i didnt really notice anything. he decides to go pick up some chick. we drive to her house and park, waiting for her to sneak out. im losing it and dont know. i had no previous experience. im melting into his car, the the seat. my vision is blurry but everything that is there is supposed to be, no weird shit appears. i continue to ramble. it rises into crescendo until i realize and shut up, then repeats over and over. i keep telling myself that i just drank water, that this is a placebo effect and my friend is secretly laughing at me. the acid is beating the shit out of subconscious. i tell my friend im in the matrix. next ten minutes i dont remember, but high friend who really cant be trusted tells me that i start screaming/clawing/laughing hysterically at him. girl comes out. i suddenly realize i fucking LOVE women. normally i cant stand them. im straight, but there stupid shit pisses me off. maybe its maternal, but theyre all nice to me and i feel so safe with them on acid. we drive to a del taco to meet gated community friend. the streets look the same, dividers blur into eachother, i dont know where i am. i keep gettting them reassure me that gated communty guy will be there (hes a longtime friend of mine). ill just say it now, i repeat everything at least twenty times over the course of the night. we get to del and i sit in a booth. stoned friend and girl go to fool around outside. random dude walks into get a coke, looks at me, winks and starts laughing. leaves. high friend, girl come in. community guy shows up with his girlfriend, who for some reason i adore. this is the worst part of the trip. im so fucking bored. no music, just sitting in this del taco. were in a corner and im the corner seat. i can only see one half of my vision. when i look at person across from me community guy (seated next to me) disappears and i repeteadely grab him and tell him to stop disappearing. i dont know where hes going, i just dont want him to leave. some girl gets me water, i drink it, play with cup, get disgusted, throw it across room. i ask for time over and over again. each minute is an eternity. go to bathroom. single room with a shitter. while i take piss, world flips upside down. not a problem, i still pull it off. im pissing upside down. look in mirror, im demonic. freaks me out, i walk out fast as possible. girl stoned friend picks up leaves with random guy in parking lot. stoned friend decides i can probably crash at his house. we all go over. i lay in his bed undr his blankets, finally able to relax, enjoying the company and safety. start to trip out on ceiling over and over, stop myself (dont realize this till later). stoned friend is on computer. futurama is on tv, colors are vibrant. i cant follow the plot. stoned friend has fast and furious poster in his room, paul walker is three dimensional and waving at me. remaining girl is very kind to me. puts a tool video on youtube. i tell her to turn that shit off. sorry, tool sucks even on acid. community friend amues himself by recording me talking on phone, then playing it to me. i get in conversations with myself about ten times, always ending up yelling "who the fuck is this guy" and telling him to get that phone out of my face. begin recitation of random nfl facts. "eric mangini is the head coach of the ny jets, blah blah blah". community friend and gf have to go, stoned friend kicks me out of bed, i lay on fleer. cotton mouth, hot, everything seems sinister but not transformed. only weird thing is his fooseball table sways and i think the hole where the balls come out is a mouth with teeth. uncomfortable as shit. coming down and really mellow out, feel at peace. stoned friend starts talkin about weird deep personal shit, it annoys me but im kind. awake till 8 in the morning, when wake his ass up and make him drive me to car. body high is gone but pupils are still huge. drive to cafe, get cinnamon roll and diet coke. everyone stares at me, apparently pupils still huge and blood and shirt (friends say i kept clawing at face). i find this hysterical. drive home, sneak into bed. parents asleep (left alibi). fall asleep around 10, wake up at 1. lay around house sober. this was a big experience to me but definetely not the best trip. i consider myself pretty strong mentally and while cid kicked my ass i managed to stave off a lot of hard tripping just by reminding myself of reality. later trips where i let go were infinitely better. this may not have been interesting at all. ill post the other two later tonight probably (gonna eat maybe), and some info about me and how the trips have changed my personality. my local area is tapped out so i havnt had the opportunity to do more (really want to, on break). also have some ?s for you guys. real quick, anyone in socal wanna hang out shoot me a pm.
Nice read.. Sounds like some of the guys you were with were being real douches. I hope that the next two times you did it you were with other people tripping, by yourself, or with people that cared. Look forward to hearing the rest!
thanks for the reply scrylla. so yeah, first time was a big deal personally but i knew i didnt really trip as hard as possible. a monthish later these guys on my sport team are going to take shrooms for the first time. id been thinking about acid again so i say hey, friday after the game lets meet up and trip together. whole day im fucking excited. play a great game. get a good dinner. go over to a friends house to wait for my dealer to drop it off (dealer leaves stuff that isnt mine, for some guy who will pick it up the next day). get it (same as last time, two hits in water). call sport guys. "uh yeah man we dont really have space for you in our car man, well figure something out". wtf. i need to either take this stuff or keep it in a fridge, which i dont have. pretty sure itll denature anyway. tell sport guys to call me when they stop being faggots. phone dies. later find out they call me three hours later wanting to hang out. last time i agree to trip with retards. so a bunch of people come over to this house to smoke pot with my friend. this friend, lets call him bill, is probably only of my best friends. never taken cid but experienced with weed, shrooms (shroomed his first time at county fair. LOL), ex. before the first time i dosed he told me to wait because he knew the people with me would be boring/stupid as hell (he was right). anyway so they come over, faggot boys fell thru, so i say screw it, im taking this stuff. one of the guys who came over finds out that another two hits are sitting in a fridge (they dont belong to him), him and this other guy split it. dont really like him, other guy is alright and got peer pressured into taking it. both have tripped before. at this point three people are on acid, two of which are high as fuck, and two other guys are way stoned. it hits me immediately, much faster than last time. i feel it coming on and embrace it. im excited, i missed it. i eventually migrate to a couch and sit there, enjoying the posters and walls. this is the first time i really had strong color visuals. they decide to go smoke more, and my good friend puts on the craziest shit ive ever heard. its like forest metal. i finally was listening to great music, comfortable, with interesting visuals. its amazing. im totally spaced out, in rhythm with the music and walls, which are pulsing to the beat and changing colors accordingly, light reds and yellows to high notes and dark reds and purples to the low. my mind is totally blank. they come back in. the other guys are feeling mild effects, but its obvious im on a different planet. they turn on the tv, i put that that shit on mute. i later find out we were watching mad tv on fox. cool friend puts on another cd made by his band mate (i meet him later) that pretty much sounds like a star wars laser battle. the faces they actors make are ridiculous and the music is ridiculous, i cant stop laughing, the entire room is pulsing with energy and color, not waves but pulses, everyone in the room is staring at me and cracking up. cool friend just sits in front of me smiling, moving his head to the music. he stretches and distrots, he eyebrows shoot up, another pair of eyes grow under them, his forehead expands until his head looks about twice as large as his body. these shenanigans continue for a while. the rest is crap that interests me and was awesome but doesnt really translate well here i think. pot smokers eventually leave the house, music ends, i unmute and start watching whos line is it anyway. wayne brady is on and obviously his character is pissed off about something, hes coming out of the tv and for a moment i almost go into a bad trip, knowing that wayne brady is going to come out of this tv and kick the shit out of me. i calm down and it passes. i go to turn on more music, whatever i can find, eventaully settle for HULK HOGAN AND THE WRESTLING BOOT BAND (lol). its blasting and i watch my friend eat, everything he does is hilarious. the background of the kitchen is pulsing and changing colors again, it looks like a lewis carrel book except the characters are the furniture. everything that should be there is, but the objects are dancing with me, a good aura is all over. cd man comes over with a guy i know okay. both are good dudes. they sit around and drink/smoke while i listen to the rest of hulk hogans cd, lol. while they talk i keep hearing bits and pieces. about me. are they making fun of me? no, theyre fucking with me. "i know this guy, used to be real straight edge, took acid one time blah blah blah". i dont really mind, its funny. i dont smoke, they keep trying to get me too. "hey nuclearwinter, smoke this acid". funny stuff (but i was in another dimension). they all clear out around 2, good friend bill has to go to work tomorrow, goes to bed. im alone with my thoughts and a few more hours of acid trip to get thru. another poorly planned night. watch vh1 music videos. by the far the high lite was snoop doggs sensual seduction. linkage http://youtube.com/watch?v=pKz-RXSeIYA eventually i go into his siters old room and try to fall asleep. cant. i end up talking to this desk for about twenty minutes, thinking its good friend bill. the whole time he just sits there with his knees to his chest and makes an old lady face. ridiculous. crap like that happens while i continue to come down. trip 3 and gen thoughts incoming. hopefully this isnt boring, lot of people are more articulate and had more interesting trips i think. just wanted to share, ya know? edit* this one had my crying. http://youtube.com/watch?v=IcgfdtkcIW0 shit keeps coming back
so that trip as better than the first by far. a week later i decide to do it again. call my friend (call him jack), pick him up. we meet up with this other guy whos nice but probably the closest thing to a drug addict i know. we get the two hits each, same dealer as last time. (incidentally, im paying 15 per in orange county. is this a rip off? feels like one). i did a lot more interesting stuff this trip than the other two. they take theirs on the way to this house party, i do after i park. drug addict is on the moon after five minutes, jack in about a half hour, takes me around an hour and a half. good friend bill is there drinking, we chat it up for a while. good vibes. sitting in an eazy chair. when i start peaking its pretty sweet due to all the stimulation/different people. im horny as hell and cant get enough of the women. ironically i doubt i could get it up if i had to. some random asshole has convined jack to do a couple lines of coke. drug addict is sitting in a corner. around this time, when im really enjoying myself, with a good body high and weak visuals (this was not as intense of a trip but better because i had more stuff to do) a bunch of dipshits break the hosts bed. he starts yelling at everyone to get out, coke head jack freaks and bolts, me and drug addict chase him. we walk around for a half hour looking for my car, get there, i admit i cant drive. its an apartment complex and everything looks exactly the same. we somehow navigate back to the party, its silent, cars are still there so i tell my companions to chill and well get a ride from a friend. coke head is having a huge freak out. drug addict thinks its funny as hell and is goading him. somehow i have become the lone voice of reason. cokey wants to walk home, saying his parents will kill him if he comes home too late. (of course, they also kill him if they see him in this state). he runs away and we follow, me shaking my head. cokey and i want to walk down the street to his house, and im pretty confident i can navigate for us as im not tripping as hard. druggy is on parole and says we should cut thru a golf course. we get lost in the apartment complex again, end up sitting in the pool area for a while, cokey freaking out and me talking him down, explaining its only been three minutes when he thinks its been three hours. we start to walk down the street because we cant get on the course (no idea where the fuck we are because everything in the complex looks the same, only beacon is the street). a cop car drives past and immediately we all get paranoid as shit. its only 2 am but three kids walking alone in this area, especially with bored cops, is a recipe for disaster. we duck into the next complex, try to find the course, get lost, get on the course, all take a piss. im having a good time on the course. the stars are beautiful, three times larger than normal. faces in the leaves smile at me, the swaying trunks blend into eachother, i want to go further. cokey wont allow it. we sit on the corner of the complex and the street, debating. i again dont have a phone and neither does cokey. we cant remember numbers and addicts friends are all sketch and wont help him out. we walk down the street. the whole time (mile-ish) we think a cop is driving right behind as slow as possible. we finally get to his neighborhood, turn around, and nothing is there. its just street lights. addict jets to his own place in the neighborhood. walk into cokeys house, his dad comes down, admonishes his son, tells him he doesnt look well, and thats it. we go into this den area to watch tv. ive pretty much come down, the colors are just more vibrant than usual, and cliche, but the images are "wavy". cokey almost texts his dad the truth cause he feels bad, decides against a stupid decision. we have some good conversations i wont throw up here, but our friendship grew stronger. i think he appreciates me for getting him through his freakout. we watch music videos for a while, i try to bum a ride to my car. dont. walk a couple miles at five in the morning (scared shitless), drive home. forgot to leave an alibi. mom opens garage door soon as i pull in, freaking out. somehow doesnt notice my huge pupils, maybe its the lighting? thinks ive been drinking (lol, ive never even drunk). i tell her i drank two beers and was waiting to metabolize it before i drove home. she says she can smell the alcohol on my breath. dumb bitch. proceeds to complain about my friends and habits. get in bed, sleep sparingly like always. edit* oh yeah. as im driving out the complex at 5am, everyones car is still there. turns out the host calmed down. cokehead fucked us over, lol. also have some great pictures taken by addict of himself around 3 in the morning, alone with his thoughts. guy wouldnt stop calling us.
alright. there they are. a few thoughts. the first trip was really significant just because it kicked my ass, it taught me that there are things more powerful than me out there. that i should engage in this more often, that im missing out on a huge part of human experience. it briefly shocked me out of my malaise. the second trip, especially the time with my good friend and music were euphoric. i was so happy and care free. i learned how to give pieces of myself over to the drug. i really appreciate my friend now. the third trip was kind of bad at the moment but now a great memory, in a superbad type of way. i learned how to handle a crisis and control myself, which i think will help if i continue to partake of LSD. all of them taught me that i need to consider set and setting much more. i wasted parts of the trip just because i had nothing to do, because nothing was planned, because people had obligations. i could have had bliss the whole time, instead of just short periods when stimuatlion was available. while i had a lot of time to think alone, coming down was sometimes mental agony. the time dilation really fucked me up. i need to respect the drug more. i want to do it more and really go to the next level. if anyone has suggestions on things to do, music, doses, and peers please throw it out there. id also really like to meet people in the area i can share this with, as im kind of alone out of my friends with this substance (and i could use new hook ups). edit*socal. hopefully the shitty writing of these posts didnt throw you off too much, lol. before i partook i was really sad all the time. im a senior. three sport varsity athlete, top 1 percent SATs, increasingly horrible grades. politically conservative. im still pretty much the same guy, but i have so much more perspective. my parents bitching doesnt really bother me anymore. yeah, im a real fuck up? look at me, im involved, polite, admitted to top ranked universities. mellow out. im not an achiever, get over it. if i could start over as a lumberjack in alaska, i would. thats how people are meant to live, not in cubicles doing shit they dont care about. it might have affected my college choices. i got into a service academy and considering a civilian school so i can experiment more. i still plan to serve in the military. well see what happens. i think i am developing kind of a weird obsession with the substance. i wont think about it for days and then itll occupy my thoughts for ten straight hours, trying to find some. i want to have a seriously good trip instead of these stupid night wanderings. there is a lot of power in lsd ive yet to experience. i know there is so much more, and ive limited myself with poor set and setting. realize i was pretty incoherent in these posts, just wanted to talk to people about it (bored at home and no lsd, lol). hopefully i can put together some more salient thoughts later. thanks for reading, and id appreciate any comments.
Interesting posts...you shockingly remind me of myself a year ago haha. Definitly consider a more planned out trip next time, my experiences with going to parties etc. on LSD are more of the same boring or just dam depressing. I would always get that feeling at a party tripping that I don't belong with a bunch of binge drinkers and cokeheads. Try and find a couple of good friends to chill with and trip. Explore your mind, nature, music and leave the parties for when you're not tripping. I think LSD is almost the anti-party drug.
Wierd obsession with substance is quite normal in the beginning. You know there is more and you strive for the knowledge. You really need a better set and setting and no people freaking around. The best is with friends that are calm and jocking about any life situation. You will meet people with who you can trip or maybe you and your friends have to grow together. I have a great bunch of people and we do everything together especially new things and on that road we are constantly pulling each other and grow together. You noticed that lsd has that twist about something that you don't like and if you follow those thoughts leeds to a bad trip and for some even freaking out. Otherwise you trips were very chaotic but that's alright considering circumstances good part is that you found out what they were teaching you.
good stuff man. I think your trip stories were well-written since you delivered the feeling of the experience better than if you were to use conventional articulation (which u obviously have). your 'rents sound like mine. my mom sorta reminds me of the mom on stephen king's "Carrie." believes it's evil demons that are responsible for any erratic behavior in the kid. one of the final tasks of my pre-first lsd trip prep was overcoming my tendency to care what my parents think. I didn't even think it was a flaw that I cared what they think, but it is one of the most obstructive and degradating things we can do to ourselves. I was prompted to be very confrontational withmy parents, gave very hard to deny logic supporting myself, amd basically told them that the person they wish I still was, never existed. the good religious boy image they enjoyed was one of my many role playing scenarios. I told them I wasn't role playing anymore, I was merely myself, and I want to have a r'ship with them. then I tripped on acid and now my rents just seem like oblivious children, who's opinions mean nothing to me, and somehow I love them even more. you DO have a strong and inependent mind. your trip partners are important, but they shouldn't be taking ego boosting drugs while you're on an ego dissolving drug. if you can't find people you trust with your whole soul, and who will go with the flow of lsd, you might be better off going somewhere safe and doing it alone. I wouldn't suggest that to everyone, but you're somewhat used to cid by now and you have a strong mind. my first cid trip was with a kid who was a better candidate to trip with than anyone, but there was a time right before the peak when any verbal communication was awful, and I just had to sit quietly and ignore everything in the world, including my friend.
Thank for sharing your experiences man..I am a high school senior as well, and am currently having some trouble dealing with all these things that are going on in my life. I too, play a couple sports and got into weed just this year..Anyway, I have yet to take acid, but I deffinately plan to, thanks to your trip reports. They were in depth and I really related to some things you said. I've taken shrooms once and have been smoking weed daily for a few months. The only other things Ive done besides that is DXM and alc. My experience with shrooms sounds familiar to cid as far as the pulses and waves, and certain feeling I had. Although I didn't have much color distortion..I started smoking weed for a similar reason too..to kind of get away from reality alittle, and just relax. Although I will admit that stopping might not be too easy.(I have to stop soon for probation) I feel like drugs in a way have helped me become my own person and not just listen to all the people who judge you because of your habbits. I've learned to be more confident and not let little things get to me..I used to be a fairly anxious person but I feel that I've learned a lot and I think psychodelics can help break the barrier.. anyway, thanks for sharing your experiences!
true, djames, and what I'm about to say is just something general u reminded me of, not directed at you: the most common reason ppl do drugs and the most destructive reason, is to escape reality. it's almost synonymous with drugs, escaping reality. more specifically, relieving the emotions that are associated with reality. unfortunately, those in emotional distress or who have a general allowance for law-breaking are usually the ones who "turn" to drugs, often making rec. drug use seem nothing but reckless and destructive. its sad, the reason why ppl do drugs: my girlfriend dumped me, i'm gonna go get wasted; my parents yelled at me, i'm gona go get fucked up; I lost my job, i'm gonna go fry my brain into a state of numb incoherence. all these actions cheat the user out of important maturation, dictated by their emotion. ppl seem to think that it is an unnatural state to feel a negative emotion, but really it's a natural guardian. just like the pain in your hand when you put it over an open flame tells you to remove your hand, not dull the pain with a substance, an emotional pain tells you to take action to address the source of the pain, not to artificially dull the pain away. once u have the habit of embracing emo pain, analyzing it and understanding it, you cross that fine line and have thoughts like: my g-friend dumped me, and I figured out why, so i'm gonna go use my favorite substance to celebrate. my parents yelled at me, but I stood up for myself and feel good, so i'm gonna go party with friends to celebrate. I lost my job, which made me think about what I really want to be doing; now that I know, I'm gonna celebrate by getting high. jeez I didn't want to jack this thread...sorry. it wasn't supposed to be such a long post. it's not like it's a complicated idea; using drugs to celebrate rather than to escape. yet somehow it seems to not cross people's minds (not any of you in this thread though)
You can't be more right burnabowl!!! Mostly, if not always, people who have problems with psychodelics are having problems with themselves and are trying to run away from day to day problems and the drug just put all of that in front of thier nose and they end up torturing them selves because they are still trying to run away from problems, instead of locating the source of the problem (witch is very easy on psychodelics if you are ready to let go)and deal with it. Always take drugs for celebration and for good intention, like showing somebody else the light, and there is no problem, everything is soo enjoyable, it doesn't matter how hectic it is. Much love to all of you!
wow I actually couldn't agree more. Honestly smoking weed is a social thing for me. Not really to escape reality but to get together with friends and just chill. But I admit, I have used drugs for an escape. I see what you are saying...when I'm really stressed I do it for a temporary escape..to just forget about my responsibilities for now. But I can see how that can be unhealthy and unproductive.
its funny. sounds like your trips have all been really intense. almost too intense. you should just find a really chill place with chill music and only people you love that will do it with you and not freak out or fuck with you. itll be so much better trust me.
