does phone sex, with someone who isn';t your significant other, count as cheating??

In my mind, dishonesty is dishonesty and there is no way around that. Cheating has nothing to do with who did what to whom, or how it was done, or where, or whatever the fuck else. The bottom line is there is a commitment to honesty in a relationship, and breaking that is just fucking wrong. This goes for things other than sex as well.

 

So you told your girlfriend about us?

 

I have no secrets. Sorry.

I also have no girlfriend. It's pretty lame.

 

Paramount to that is a commitment to make each other happy, and if your mate were compelled to seek that elsewhere, you are likely not holding up your end of the bargain.

 

Well of course. There's no double standard.

I'm a very sincere person...I know what is right and wrong, or at least what I consider to be right and wrong, and I know that right and wrong can't be bent or skewered. Now, I fuck up a lot, but I'm trying.

 

I am here most days...I am just not very loud.

 

you can be honest and still be having phone sex, some people don't care if their partners do it. the only people who should be deciding whether it's cheating or not are the 2 people in the relationship.

 

Y'know...I wouldn't have a problem with my bf having cybersex, but I don't think I'd be okay with phone sex. I think the difference for me would be that I assume he'd know whoever he was phonesexing with, whereas if it was cybersex it'd probably be some random stranger.

 

As azucena said... every relationship has it's own rules. In some relationships... phone sex would be cheating. In other relationships it's perfectly acceptable. As long as both parties agree to the rules and if you remain within the confines of those rules, it's not cheating. If you don't know whether it's considered cheating in YOUR relationship than there are probably bigger issues than whether phone sex is acceptable.

 

Excellent point. Best so far.

 

It's cheating if it breaks the rules you both agreed on. on the other hand some things are implied and I'm be fierce upset if I came home to that.

 

If the rules are never established though, it's assumed to be cheating is it not?

And if not, does the same apply for getting head from your girls best friend? She never expressly stated that oral was cheating, so there's no rule, right?

You open a bad can of worms with stuff like this....

 

well actually... if you are in a serious relationship these things should definitely be discussed. For instance, some people really aren't cut out for monogamy... if so, those people should be honest with themselves and honest with their significant other. You don't have to expressly state every possible scenario under the sun... but it's common sense to talk about what's considered cheating or inappropriate and what's fair game. On the other side, if you're a jealous person and can't stand the other person even FLIRTING with other people then this should also be discussed so it can be dealt with in a mature way. No one can read minds. If you can't communicate these basic things then your relationship will probably be full of problems.

So yeah, if you've never had an open conversation with your significant other about what your relationship stands for, where the other person is coming from and thinks/feels about issues such as monogamy... then the relationship probably doesn't have a very strong foundation.