I couldnt sleep last night try as I might. It may have had something to do with the coffee I had at 1030 or the nap I had in the afternoon, but I think it was mostly to do with my mind. I couldnt shut it down. I couldnt slow it down. It scared me. I kept thinking stoner thoughts like 'what is real' 'what is real outside of me' 'are people real' it was frightening. I had gotten stoend earlier too. and then I would think about my grandma who died, and what is death, how does someone just go away? I dont understand. It sucked so bad. I wanted to cry. And I wanted to be held. the end.
Aw. It's scary, but you know what? Our feelings have to run their course unhindered. Was your grandma's death what precipitated it you think?
no, i dont know. it was just me questioning reality. but it wouldnt leave me alone. and it still kinda wont. its scaring me. i just need to go out and do something.
It sounds like it might have been a panic attack, and you might not be confronting all the feelings you need to from your grandmother. I hope your feeling better today Caitlin. Take it easy on yourself. Love ya.
I can't sleep either. Mostly because of my increasingly undersized bladder. And I can't take sleeping pills because i'm afraid I won't hear if the kids wake up.
I hate to say this, but this forum sometimes fucks with my sense of reality. Work and relationships. That's reality. Everything else...is not.
Ha..."It might have had something to do with the nap plus the coffee at night plus the fact that I was baked..." Gee, y'think? I get insomnia ALL THE TIME. I don't sleep much. But usually I get up and watch TV (or hang out here, although usually no one's around so it's just lonely and lame). But sometimes nothing works, and I've totally had nights like that, where my brain just starts FUCKING with me. Sometimes it's that kind of existential stuff...sometimes it's the old "No one really likes you" thing. Last week around 3 am my brain started coming up with new torture traps like in the Saw movies and WOULD NOT STOP. It was actually pretty scary and terrible. I was miserable.
i'm sorry about your battle with insomnia. it definitely sucks. i've been having those types of nights since i've gotten back from spring break
Maybe if you didn't freak out each time a guy hit on you, you could solve that problem. Or try this novel approach: Sleep with a friend.
It's hilarious how little much you were knowing about that whom you were. About. Whereas. Ipso facto.
I had some trouble too. Slept from 6-10pm, started drinking then wasnt asleep again until 3-4. Just woke up like an hour ago.
