Do you go back to ''normal''...?

So...this has been popping into my head alot lately...over a year ago, when I was with my ex-junkie bf at at the time (for 3 years he had done pills, snorted oxys, and started shooting at the end..) Anyway, he used to always say he couldn't be really happy again ever, he's say ''I think the opiates fucked up my brain, destroyed how it make me happy''.. he'd say it and simaler thinks ALL the time which drove me nuts, I didn't use at all at the time, and I thought he was being paranoid or a hypocondriac...or just plain making up excuses why he was always moody depressed and bitching..
Well, now that I've done pills and what have you for over a year, and have quit a few times..my longest was 3 weeks, last month..Honestly, life fkn SUCKED with out my lil friends, I barely enjoyed anything I was like a walking Zombie, struggling and cursing through most of the boring ass, aggravating days...Honestly, I gave it a shot, and yeah sure, I know I prob didn't give it enough time to let my receptors go back to normal, or close to it, but dude, I could not spend another day sober and depressed, not appreciating life..it just wasn't worth it for me.. Now I understand what my ex was talking about, and kinda feel bad for not believing him actually..And he had been sober FOR A YEAR, and still wasn't ''back to normal''.
I know there is literature about this phenomenon , and a word for it that starts with an h, can't remember right now...

My question for you guys is, how many of you have kicked it (for a little while or long duration) and felt like you couldn't be happy or near happy as you were pre-opiates? Is there hope for completely ever reversing the confusion you caused in you brain function and snapping back ? What are your feelings & experiences with it..and what have you heard literature wise ? I'm a little worried now, but can't wait it out long enough to find out if staying sober will be worth it... Thanks~

 

honestly this may seem retarded but i would suggest going to na meetings and the like and converse with the people there. it seems like if anybody would have good suggestions for this it would be the people there.

 

I feel the same way. Ever since first starting opiates, the various times I've gone without (months at a time I'm guessing) I wasn't very happy at all... but then again I've never been very consistently happy, at least not since I was a kid. Even before I started using drugs of any kind I was a depressed and angry teenager. I probably have a chemical imbalance. I think something else that may have contributed to it is my ecstasy use. I've probably rolled 200-300 times within like 5 years. Probably not the best thing for chemical equilibrium?

 

No, I'm not going to NA meetings. Appreciate the suggestion though. I want to hear it from the horses' mouth, from the privacy of my own home. Any thoughts or experiences appreciated..

 

Hey Adamist, our replys crossed again... Right..you know, I've thought to myself, k, was I really that happy before I used ? And the answer is eh, kinda... but I don't really know, yes and no- hard to totally tell I'm always evolving..
Really interesting that you bring up the chemical imbalance thing- I really think I have one as well, which would prob also explain why I was always seeking out E once I discovered it, and that was b4 I got into Opes at all... I probably rolled bout 150 times or something...like you said, prob not good for the brain/chemical levels.. Idk, I'm so confused, lol

Nice to see you feel the same Adamist~

 

Haha, yeah I seeked out Ecstasy for happiness. It really did the trick, while I was rolling that is.. then I'd be right back where I started. I don't regret my E use though, I've had some of the most amazing, loving human experiences possible. Seriously, I've experienced bliss worth dieing for. And what else is life for but to experience it in all it's glory?

 

i have never touched opiateds or ever wanted to
i knew enough not to
to be willing to do that to yourself ya must already have a few problems
but all i can say is even if you cant get back to "noermal" the longer ya stay addicted the farther ya go from ever hoping to have that again
you caused the crap you'll haave to go through, and you might havree to go through it awhile
but whats the alternative? an addict for life?
dont ya thonk one day you'll not want to be one?
wouldnt yas like that day to be easy as possible?
wouldnt you like the recovery to take as short a time as u can and have the best hope of fullest recovery and return to normal someday?
well guess what
that day is today

the longer ya wait the harder it gets

 

Ha, yeah, exactly, it really is incredible, some of the times I've rolled on really good pills were my happiest, most enlightened times..And the loving thing- yeah, true, unfiltered, egoless love for others and yourself...that's real. I don't regret it at all either..haaa, you're making me want to roll jerk- lol, jk Yep=you are def right, I have that attitude as well, live like it could be your last day, and if it is your last, hopefully you die happy knowing you experienced it to the fullest, the way YOU wanted to. Amen! thanks~

 

SoaringEagle, what about those who are in horrible pain everyday of their lives?
Do you look down on them for being opiated for pain? Seriously...

 

no
although..i fit in that catagory
im in constant pain and today actualy was the 1st time in boiur 15 years that i even took a tylenol
but thats me
ya see though thats the biggest flaw with the medical system, there are far far better ways to deal with pain then to use addictive dangeroudse drugs

so ya might say yes i look down on the medical system for creatting the addicts in the 1st place

i wasnt looking down on rainbowchick either (i think i may even know you, are u sylvia?) i was just telling her what she needed to hear
i glanced at other threads, and shes regretting opiates but finding the withdrawl and dealing with sober life to be crippling and too hard

well...it gets harder sweety..and now is the best tiome to fix things

ya got support if u want it

 

Yeah, agrees with Adamist- ALSO , God gave us the Poppy, just like he gave weed and every other plant drug- And I'd be willing to bet you are addicted to weed or another drug, so please do not judge. ESPECIALLY CAUSE YOU SAID YOU HAVE NEVER TOUCHED THEREFORE NEVER TRIED OPIATES ! OMG, that's like never have eaten icecream, but saying,'' god, I can't understand why you like that stuff, sugar is bad for you , how can you eat that nasty icrecream ? lol!!

 

no i smoke weed im not addicted
and i should have said never intentionaly touched opiates
but having broken no crushed my spine ya better believe they put me on opiates

i got off as quick as i could


srry for tryin to help

 

And also, I never said I regretted opiates, if I had an unlimitted supply I'd be right as rain and you better believe happy as a clam. And, no, I'm not Sylvia, I'm Wendy Sky. Thanks

 

well wendy sky sorry, i just had gotten the impression that ya had hoped to get back to normal someday...
just sayin u can
but the farther from normal u go the harder and longer it is to get back

 

Ok, well thanks for the care- I found it funny that we both said ''you better believe'' at the same time (both our posts at 10:55) I wrote mine b4 I read yours- posted just b4 mine. weird and random.. Peace

 

well ive been off and on opiates for a very very long time. i started shoting heroin for a long while and finally was able to kick it with a little help from my friends a month or so ago. im pretty much back to normal, not that normal is happy. but everytime i hear someone mention heroin or any opiate i get really intense cravings for it, and some mornings i wake up and my body is begging me for a shot. i dont know how long itll last, but i hope not forever

 

poop from what i understand from helping freinds quit and from freinds whove bdeen reovering for years
the hapyness will return the cravings fade
but once your addicted they never go away fully
avoiding eee t mention of opiaes though ill help
just the word heroin triggers cravings dont it?
ya gotta get away from anything that triggers that memory

good luck..your doing great

but hangin out in an opiate forum wont help u much

 

..."Was I happy to begin with?"

I too am a chronic pain patient, and aside from breaking a couple of limbs, did not touch opiates at all, before my diagnosis. When I had insurance, I HAD that "unlimited supply" of some very good stuff.

I did not function at all before my diagnosis, was in and out of hospitals (as an inpatient) on a monthly basis. After getting with a PM doc., I was able to actually work again. Now, we all know what opies will do to ya, and needless to say, my tolerance got fucked in a very short time.

Was I a "happier" person before taking opies? Hard to tell. I was hardly wunna those folks in orange robes who offered folks flowers with a never-ending grin. At the same time, I was able to do my day-to-day stuff, work, and other stuff without having to "dose". Not necessarily 'happy' but able to function.

I largely function now without opies. I save my fun times for my one day off a week. No more monkey on my back. Could I be a more pleasant person with them? Absolutely! Am I the biggest asshole on the block WITHOUT them? Nah...but then again, I've been somewhat of an asshole most of my life.

 

That SUCKS. That is NO way to live. Im happy all the fuckin time I dont see how you cats can do this to yourselves. Quit taking those soul killers and drop some acid. JEEZE.

 

Hahahhah talk about the pot calling the kettle black. This guy Prone criticizes people for taking a pain-killing pharmaceutical and he's dropping Acid tablets and tripping all day. I bet you have a real productive life, at least presciption painkillers help people function better and serve a purpose. You just hate your life so much that you need to escape reality and hallucinate sh*t and trip. I bet your realll happy! hahahah I've yet to meet one successful person who has an Acid habit. Really, I mean that. People addicted to pain medication can still live perfectly functional lives. Acid f*cks with your mind more than any other drug. Have fun waking up in a cold sweat 20 years now in an LSD flashback. That sh*t NEVER leaves you, and you hit your brain in a place that leads to serious mental disorders and psychosis. All pain meds do is lead to dependency, then you go through a few days of withdrawal and youre pretty much fine.

HAHHAHA