Everyone Please Help Me Again!!:(

im 19 years old!! me and boyfriend are so inlove, were getting our aprtment may first. Also planning to get married....my mom wont agree with the marriage..for selfish reasons...just because she doesnt belive in young marriages... she lives with my step dad and my 2 brothers.... (its not like she will be alone) now i have one month to plan how im gonna break the news to her. i mean i know were young..i know the responsibilites were going have but we are capable of everything, financially and mentally... but do i tell that to my mom? and when ?

 

in my own personal opinion i think you should wait. if youre going to spend the rest of your lives together why rush the marriage issue? get to know each other better and living with each other can change everything and make things a lot more difficult than you think. besides when you get married everything joins together and that means what happens with one happens with the other.

 

would have to agree with xhollymarie, probably not what you want to hear, but good advice, nothing wrong with living together, but you should hang back on the wedding.
As much as you love him , wait until you now him better, living with him for a long period of time, will help to find out if this man, is the man who's name you want to take for life.

 

ASK YOURSELF THIS!!!!!! If he loves you so much, and you love him so much, and you two are absolutley certain that you will be with each other forever, def within the next 10 years, then ask yourself this:

Why cant you both wait, together, to get married until your life situations improve, which would make marriage and what comes with it easier?

If the love you say you both have is legit, then you both dont have to worry about the others loyalty to the other, hence you CAN wait to get married until both of your lives mature to the point that you are ready in every aspect, not just the aspect of immediate passion.

 

you two took the words right out of my mouth

 

she won't listen to any of us. this happens all the time. let her make her own way. the only thing i can say to you outofthisworld is this: if, or when your relationship ends with your boyfriend/husband that, before you get this deeply involved with someone else again, that you LEARN from your experence in this relationship! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! L-E-A-R-N!

 

Divorces are a pain in the ass!

Move in with him and live together for a while. Your mom is likely to be much more receptive to helping you out should you need it (and it is highly likely you will) if you listened to her advice.

You want to get married....okay. What is going to change if you wait a year to do it? Hell, wait until you are 21 and you can go anywhere on your honeymoon....no age restrictions (21+) really opens up the options on where you can go.

There is no downside to waiting, but there can be a TON of them if you rush into it.

 

You better tell her as soon as possible if you only have one month. How do you know she won't agree if you haven't even told her yet?

 

if you are really sure that this is what you want, then you need to tell your mom as soon as possible, if she hates the idea, tell her that you respect her feelings but you need to make your own decisions in life.
be absolutely adamant that you are more than capable of looking after yourselves, treat it like asking a bank manager for a loan- she will want to know exactly how you are going to support yourselves, hopefully this will reassure her that you have given it a lot of thought and not rushing into it blindly.
be prepared for some shouting and possibly some tears- if possible, have your future husband with you when you break the news- hopefully this will show her that you are united and able to support each other.
i think that if you go ahead and marry without her prior knowledge, it would create a massive rift between you and your mother.

any chance of getting your step-dad on your side before breaking the news ?

 

PLEASE live together for a while before you get married! If he's the one for you then it won't change anything!

 

yea i would try living together first for a while maybe even a year before getting married or maybe have a super long engagement while your testing the waters

but dont let anyone tell you your too young to be married
if you are truly in love and can take care of things fuck them!

 

Yeah, you can't even drink champagne at your wedding at your current age... best to wait. Makes it special if you've been together and went through a few good times together. Then you can tell all your little kids stories that start with the sentence "Before your father and I were married..."

Who doesn't love those stories?

*sigh*