I've dated this girl on and off for about 4 years. Last time we spoke was about a year ago and she was dating someone new, and it really had me down and depressed for a long time and that really isn't who I am to let something get me so down. So after time passed I buried all those feelings away and got over it, but it took quite some time. So the other day she sends me a text and now we've been talking, it's only been about a week since we've been talking again, yet she's already cheated on her boyfriend of 9 months with me. So now it's too late to back out without her being mad at me, or me getting mad at myself, and feeling sad again. I know though if we keep talking she wouldn't dump her boyfriend for like another month or two for me and that also really bugs me but I can't like force her to dump him, ya know? The other issue is that when I'm not stoned I really want to be with her again. She's really cute and fun to be with but kind of needy sometimes, and when I'm high, her being so needy kind of bugs me sometimes...so I don't know what the hell to do anymore. To make it more complicated my parents are thinking about moving to one of the carolina's and we live in Missouri. But that's not a for sure thing and if it was a for sure thing I'd tell her sorry, quit talking to her now before I get more tied up in all of this than I already am and let her be. But us moving that far away also might not happen so I'd like to still talk to her if us moving doesn't happen, but if we keep talking for like the next few months and she dumps her boyfriend and then we date for a few months and I move away I'd feel like a jerk. I don't know what to do anymore, theres so many circumstances in the whole situation right now, that it could end up perfect for us, or terrible for us. Soo...ideas anyone?.....thoughts anyone?.....anything anyone?
Plus I think something in the universe thinks we should be together because the first time I did acid was a few months after we quit talking and I was kind of dwelling on negative thoughts for awhile so I sent her a message at like 3 in the morning saying that I missed her, and wished she was still there for me, and her phone woke her up (which it never does, trust me) and she responded saying that she still was...I consider this an important factor though in my decision making.
in the opinion of an experienced woman: you should just do whatever you feel like cuz love is gonna fuck you up everytime no matter what you do...or don't do...anyways. :tongue:
this sounds like a typical young girl. you're 18, so I'm going to assume the chica is 16-18. young women normally have no idea what they want, and the fact that she's seeing you while she's still with her new boyfriend, and that she doesn't want to "dump" him for another month or two tells me she's still weighing her options, or just using you for, well, whatever makes sense to her at the time. I believe you would be better off on your own. at 18, I think you would be much better served if you spent time growing and defining yourself, than if you spend time in a relationship that is highly likely to fail.
I cheated on my high school boyfriend (the boyfriend was abusive I dumped him and he wouldnt let me leave technically not cheating) with my now boyfriend. Me and my current boyfriend have been off and on for 5 years now after that. and now after the last on/off bit we are the happiest people ever! So it can work...it doesnt always.
I agree with the guy above me, if they can cheat with you they can cheat on you! But if you feel like you really want to be with this girl I'd just put it out there and say that your interested in her but you want her to prove that she really wants to be with you and dump her boyfriend now. And not in 1-2 months.
I was in the same position as you at the same age, she cheated on me and she gave me the opportunity to fight to keep her. She wanted to find out which guy would fight the hardest for her. They want to end up with the strongest one. If she cheated she is not happy with the current situation and needs an out but does not want to hand herself over to just anyone she wants to be the prize. Just because they cheat once or twice does not mean they always will. So I quess what I'm saying is this is your chance to step up to the plate, be a man and fight your hardest for her, she is giving you the opportunity to be the "one", you have to woo her and make her feel as she is the only one in the world, try not to get distracted by the current bf he is just a test for you and vice versa, concentrate on her and how you want to make her feel. You have to capture her heart and mind then she will be yours, if you really love her you can do it.
WTF?? That's rediculous. Any woman that would ask that is incredibly immature and self-centered. Sorry you felt you had to sacrifice your dignity for someone.
Hey elover, it sounds like this girl doesn't really know what she wants right now. You said that she first sent you a text, she probably still likes you if she's initiating contact even though she's in a relationship with someone else, but if she's not willing to choose you or him then she's being a little selfish. When I was that age I am ashamed to say that once I got the hots for two different people and wanted both of them, so strung both along. It's immaturity and a lack of respect for others' feelings, but it's also being young and confronted by loads of exciting and confusing emotions and not really knowing how to deal with them, so she needs to figure out what she wants and wake up to the fact that she's hurting both you guys. I'd pick a time to talk to her (both of you sober) and say 'I really like you, I never got over you and I want to be with you, if you want to be with me then here I am but you gotta be honest about what/who you want.' And don't make her decide there and then, take it slow. And all that 'fighting for her' stuff, probably depends on what kind of girl she is but that caveman bullshit really doesn't do it for me personally. Good luck dude
Strawberry_Fields_Fo of course she is immature and self-centered she is young. spinningtop 'fighting for her' stuff caveman bullshit. If you think this means with your fists you are sadly mistaken. elover Stay off the drugs and go after her she maybe the love of your life. I'm done.
Hi BigGirlGuy, I didn't even consider a fist fight, I was just ruminating on the competitive psychology of it.
The best advice I have is to follow you heart (ohh man im cheesy) but really if you feel it then do it, if its a bummer then dont. Dont waste time being miserable, but if your not miserable then stick with it until you are miserable then move on.
its really difficult when you dont know what you want so just try to sit her down and ask her to figure it out so you can know if she seriously is thinking about being with you if not then move on
ya being straight fwd is always a good way to go. talking to her might tell you everything you need to know
Uh....that's like, 12 year old behavior. That's the kind of shit people pull in middle school. Hell, I'm relatively young, but I would never ask that of somebody.
Elover, How do you feel about her? only you know the actual situation, the young lady and your feelings for her so we can only give advice- you will take and reject what you will. To me she sounds very immature and i would think you should leave this while you can, but four years sounds like there may be more to it. but you are young, consider spending some time doing what you want to do and living freely for awhile. sounds like you really like this girl and want very much to believe you should stay with her, but deep down know perhaps that you shouldn't?
