ok now, well im in 7th grade and im wild and crazy...watever. so here is the story, hope you can give some feedback because im really comfused. so me and my friends joke around and one of them called herself a bisexual...but we joke and kid all the time and im not so sure its true. but anyways, so one day we were hanging out (and by the way, we act/say really gay-sounding things when we're together) so she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, of course it was not romantic in anyway(as a joke) and i 'made a scene' about it. then after, we were joking around and we are like, best friends and we hug and stuff and whatever and then i just kind of got this feeling, the same as when im chillin with a reely hot guy or someone i like (you know, you've known them for a long time but you suddenly start getting butterflies). so here is where i ask you to help me because iv been questioning my sexuality since befor this event ever happened and im starting to wonder wether i may b bisexual. i know that im not 100% gay, but i have a feeling that i may like girls too, because i've just been 'mutualy' noticing them too. any help would be good. thankyou, your new poster, justCHILL
ok, first off, making jokes about being bisexual will eventually get your ass beat. Second, you're 13! wtf are you doing trying to figure out your sexuality already? you should be outside enjoying life. if you have "feelings" towards girls, then perhaps you are bi-sexual. So what? i am, it's natural. However, it could possibly be that you sub-conciously want to be bi-sexual, so your brain is making it to where you think that you actually are, when it is probably just a faze you are going through.
Wow, this happened to me at like EXACTLY your age. I started to dig on my best friend, a girl. I wondered if I was bisexual for a few years, but by the time I got into high school, I figured out I was definitely straight. Never acted on the impulse- just lost the urge, you know? Wanted to be sure, and sure enough, it was just my awakening teenage libido. :tongue: I think it's pretty much just a hormone thing and you shouldn't read too much into it. Just let things simmer a while. You'll figure it out. In the mean time, I don't think you should act on the impulse if you have any interest in preserving the friendship as it might make things weird down the road should you decide you're not into it (just my thoughts- feel free to disregard). It's hard, but you're young. You'll get over it and find other people, and when the time is right, you'll figure out your true sexuality.
thanks FireFlyInTheDark... ill defiantly take what you said into consideration. Naoki_ninja...thank you for trying to help, i really appreciate it, but honestly, when i read your comment i felt like i was being attacked via internet. i honestly do feel tho that their is something (bi/gay relationship-ish) between us. more help would be greatly appreciated.
Naoki, when would you prefer she put it off until? Jeez. No, Chill, this is exactly the time you should be trying to figure out your sexuality. And the best way to figure it out is to try hooking up with a girl. Your brain will let you know whether it's having a good time or not. Good luck figuring it out, honey.
ok, then. now somebody sees it the way i see it, molly. i figured that if i have these feelings then i should try to figure them out even if they are just hormonal and I'm strait. i mean some people don't figure it out until their in their late 20's and maybe thirties, or late that their bi or gay...i just figured i wouldn't want to waste that much time if it was true. also, i didn't mention that she was the only friend that i act like that with/ might have feelings for. i have another friend that i hang out with almost every weekend, but we don't go 2 school together so on the phone and stuff we say stuff like 'i mis you', then we're like, 'luv ya' and stuff that doesn't always sound like its just between friends. we also do things like share drinks and stuff that couples usually do, but i cant tell if she does it because its her type of personality or if she might be bi. i know we have a weird kind of oddly close relationship though, because OTHER people can see how we act and we are often asked if we are going out, somtimes in a rude way, but we are always quick to say no, but i dnt know if thats us 'hiding' somthing or us both just really good strait friends. now I'm rambling but I'm really grateful for the people who responded.
To be fair, the only thing you've said here that sounds a little gay is that you "got this feeling," like when you're hanging out with a hot guy. Everything else could easily be totally normal. Or it could easily be totally gay, too Can I ask you this? If you masturbate, do you sometimes fantasize about girls? One of the wonderful things about your brain is that when you're fantasizing, it will tell you what turns it on - so if you do sometimes fantasize about girls, that's definitely a sign. And remember that your hormones are CRAZY right now. It's not that hard to just get kinda confused. I went through kindof a phase where I hooked up with some girls, and I wasn't sure at all whether I was bi, or how bi I was, or anything...it was really confusing. Eventually, it turns out that I'm mostly straight but sometimes I'm attracted to girls. (I guess what I'm saying there is that it can be amazingly confusing when you're just starting to figure it all out, but you will figure it out. Everyone does.)
ok, hard for me to admit because i am normally dont shair things like that but as well as fantasizing about a hot guy i know, i occasionally may find myself fantasizing about a girls body, BUT i dont get a specific person in mind...just the apearence...w/e. any ideas?
I know, it's totally weird, but that's sorta the point of the internet, right? You don't know any of us, so it's a safe place to be honest. Sounds like you might very well be at least a little bisexual. Or you might just be horny. Firefly's got some pretty good advice, too...it could be dangerous to act on your feelings with your friend. On the other hand, it could turn into an amazing relationship. I have no idea how you could bring it up with her without it being completely awkward if she doesn't feel the same way...that's a reaaaally tough one. When I had just started fantasizing about things that made me nervous - one of them was girls - I never attached faces to them either, and I kinda think it was because I was too scared, in my head - like if I pictured a specific girl that TOTALLY made me a lesbian, and it was safer to just picture "a girl". But that was just me, it could mean something totally different for you. Here's a question: do you want to be bisexual? If you got to choose your sexuality, what would you choose?
see i know that if i say i want to be bisexual then it may all be in my head but the thing is I'm not sure. i don't think i WANT to BE bi, but i know that I'm defiantly in favorer of gay politics and stuff like gay marriage because one of my friends from a camp i went to (now probably 16 y/o) is gay and his mother totally wrote him off as a son when he came out to her and that got me into that whole thing, but i dont think i WANT to be gay/bi...who knows. maybe subconsciously i do. the more i think about it, the more im not sure.
Gah - brains are annoying sometimes, huh? They get all twisted up on themselves and you can't figure out what they mean anymore. it sorts itself out eventually, but it would be nice if it would just sort it out now: "HEY! You're bisexual." And you could be like oh, well then that's great, thanks for letting me know, I'll go have a threesome. sigh. Well, it probably won't be that easy. But you'll figure it out, sunshine.
thank you for being so helpful molly, you've offered alot of great advise. hopefuly i can get my mind to sort everything out and i can finally just say im bisexual, or im strait.
justChill, don't even worry about it. You're 13 the whole sexual game is new to you. Having feelings one way or the other doesn't really "make" you anything. You can be whatever you want to be and not much difference will be made. So just have fun, play the field if you want and "justChill". Worrying about it isn't going to give you an answer, just go with it.
He's right ^^ You're 13, it's okay to have feelings for either sex, but it's probably going to take some time to discover what your true sexuality is. I didn't even know I was bisexual until I was 19 or so (but then again I had a sheltered childhood). Everybody's different. Just do what floydian slip and molly said - very good advice.
Wow....well, don't stress yerself over it. Just roll with the punches matey. Try brushing up on some Psychology too. I don't know, so I'm gonna shut up now.
i no i hav time to figure it out but i am the type of person that if i feel somthing i go for it and i kind of wanted to get some outward opinions b4 i did somthin i would l8r regret. that is why i want to figure it out because if i am bi, dont want to waste time denying it when i may hav had a chance to be in a good relationship
Only you can decide what's right for you, but speaking from my own experience, I would say go for it. This reminds me of what I used to feel for my best friend when I was in high school. I never acted on it, and it took me until second year of college to even kiss a girl. Turns out: I'm pretty freakin' gay. Not entirely, but quite substantially. There were so many times I wanted to kiss my friend, and I wish I had. I would have figured out my sexuality so much earlier, and could have even had something with her. Obviously we're different people in different situations and you're young and your hormones are nuts etc. But it sounds to me like you've got some strong attraction to girls, and you owe it to yourself to check it out. Also, and I may be biased, but kissing girls is awesome. Good luck!
thanks Witkacy i really got a lot of help form this forum and every time i read another comment i am pushed back and forth from saying you know what, I'm probably strait, then back to ok now, I'm defiantly bi. your comments have still helped me ATTEMPT to sort my brain out and I'm willing to take advise from anyone.
Hi JustChill, yeah there are heaps of cool people on this forum, [loud applause for all you good folks out there]. I'd not stress about choosing a label for yourself at your age. I know that labels can sometimes be helpful, it's natural to want to identify with a group and there is certainly some camaraderie in the gay and bi communities. But it's great to experiment and learn about your sexuality, so I'm glad you're open to that. Just have fun finding out who you are and don't rush into putting yourself in a box too early. good luck, hon
