when meeting new people or making new friends do you let them know you're gay or do you just tell them whenever that certain question or conversation comes up? are there certain scenarios where you wouldn't tell and why?
For the most part I'm not interested in other peoples sex life...yeah, it's an age thing... So, I don't tell 'em anything. If I'm dealing with someone of quality, someone I might be intersted in I tell them when the time is right. I come from an Era and place where to be openly gay could lead to a closed casket type funeral. I damn sure appreciate the changes I see and, Yeah, I guess I envy the freedom a lot of you guys currently have
I found that once I reached my 30s, without fail just about every new female I meet socially, the first questions that come out of their mouths are "Are you Married?, do you have kids?, do you have a girlfriend?". When the answer to all 3 is No, well...they get that it only really means one thing
;p vanilla so when meeting new people or making new friends, just let it happen naturally? if the question comes up just tell em? let's say i meet some straight guys at work, get along with them all, potential friendships right? what do i do if they say something negative or hurtful about gays? should i question them why and out myself? ...probably best to hide it since it could make it weird while working. it all depends on where you work and who's working with you i guess?
when I meet new people I dont openly say that I am bisexual. I will only mention it if it is brought up in a conversation or if someone asks etc. fortunately enough I am in a great enough place right now where it doens't matter who I reveal that to. but back in my hometown only a few close friends knew
Tricky question, straight acting gay guy, and generally only looking for other straight acting gay guys, personal preference thing. Makes it difficult to find potential bf's in a public place. Find what I need in gay clubs and the net, places where, be definition if your there, your gay. Havent been in the situation before, but, woudl test teh waters first, prehaps witha few leading questions, abotu homosexuality adn the like.
I usually mention it when certain conversations come up, but I mean, I don't make it my business to make sure people know that I'm gay. Unless I suspect that someone else is gay and I'm interested in him. Yes, there are some situations that are exceptions. This summer, I went on a trip to Nicaragua for a month with a bunch of other high school students from around the country. It was two weeks into the trip that I mentioned my sexuality, in a game of "never have I ever." I just wanted to make sure people were cool with it. Most were, which was good. But like earlier in the trip, one of my friends asked if I had a girlfriend, and that would have been a good time to explain, but I didn't feel like it yet. You've just gotta feel out the situation.
If they make a homophobic comment then just call them out on it. Be like "yeah and what's wrong with gay people" and when they give their moronic justifications as to why inform them of your gayness. Who cares if it makes it "weird" working with them? If they're not people you'd become friends with then just remind yourself that you only work with them and that in order to deal with them you'll be compensated for your troubles. But if you feel like you'd get your ass beat by them just because of your sexuality then maybe it's better to stay stealth for the time being. You could sue them if that happens. But honestly who gives a fuck what they think? It's your life.
Sometimes, I have real difficulties convincing people(seems like most are girls) that I'm gay. Granted part of my job is to be a comedian - so I'll grant people the "so, you're serious now right?" factor... but geez. It's amazing how different a lot of straight girls will act once they know you have zero desire to have sex with them. In certain cases, you immediately turn into their queer friend and the bond of sisterhood is offered.... yeah.. no thanks... I didn't like you back at the part where you were pretending to be witty and interesting....sigh. As for when to drop the bomb... as a loose guideline, I like people to get to know me first. That's not because I have any problems telling people, but more because... well, it's rude. No one that's straight comes up to me and says, "Hey, by the way, I have sex with the opposite gender... how's that sit with ya??" So, I extend the same courtesy until the topic comes up directly conversation. Normally, it's begun with some harmless question like, "Do you have a girlfriend??" "No... not so much... but, I do like roosters...."
Who cares if I'm st8 or gay, I have a bald head and a white beard. Actually, I get quite a few guys (and ladies) interested in me, including the occasional Twink. But around new acquaintances I do just blurt out that I am bi or anything. But conversations sometimes entail revealing part of my ample history, which can be cofusing to people who don't know me. when I say "We traveled overland to India" and mentioned "him" as one of the we, everyone who knows me knows it was my partner Jim. Likewise, when talking about the later "we" my wife Brenda, sometimes the fact that she was black and I white has to be explained. Things just come out in normal conversation that reveal your particular dynamic. Unless you want to go to lengths to conceal it, which has not been my style since "tell it like it is" was coined. Interesting the term "straight acting gay." I don't act straight, but I am not nelly either. I know a lot of gay men who do not give signals of being gay. It is not an act, there are gay men who are not obviously effiminate. My gayness may come out in context of being free to express things that super macho men are not free to express. Oh, sometimes I can be outrageous, like kissing a cute boy in public, walking with my arm around another man, but still looking quite straight or at least manly in the process.
