sorry will re pharse

hi i will re pharse my story.

From the age of growing up, i have had like being chasing girls, just being a typical boy really, high school had couple ov girlfreinds, but was more interested in parties just to go there and see how many girls you can pull, and see how far you can gert with them, this was like when i was 16/17.

Then my first girlfreind when i first has sex was 16, then carried on from there. i am now 23 and now had 7 women.

Then came 17 and going into a new job, where i met an older women, and we had a great time, and i started having these thoughts about men, sexually, imtiatley. i hated the thoughts at first i was disgusted, i didnt want them there at all, i was getting really depressed cause this was 24/7 couldnt stop thinkign about it, it stopped me going out, isolation from my mates. so with all this going on it effected my work, was so scared, i use to sweat when i went out. I then told my girlfriend about this, she said he words, YOU ARE NO GAY and started laughing, i mean we were very sexual, and even sometimes men use to pop into my head while having sex with her which really messed me up and made me worse.

iWe then discovered this HOCD thing, homosexual ocd, which is fear ov being homosexual, i thought it was that and believed it, but now i have become to enjoy the thoughts ov being sexual with man, going on gay porn, it has gone from thinking i had HOCD for 5 years to me enjoying the thoughts, and wanting to act on these desires, i mean i feel soemthing when i see two guys going for it and dont find it digusting, sometimes it like i really want that, i mean if i see a new guy at work and he is nice i will god he is hot, any ideas. hope this is a bit better for you to understand, its like i already know that i like men, its just i have losta ll my attraction for women, dont know whether i am gay/bi/staright or what

 

Well, this is real hard stuff to try and sort out in back of a keyboard but...

Unfortunately, being Gay in our society is just scarey as hell for most of us. For many of us it is much safer, easier and comfortable to be anything but gay. So we tell ourselves all kind of storeys to explain those uncomfortable feelings... Sometimes we say we're just young and experimenting and it doesn't mean anything, it will pass in time...for some it does. Some of us say we just having these intrusive thoughts that won't go away. Maybe its HOCD, maybe in time it will go away. Maybe not.

So, I don't know you but from what you are saying it seems like these are some pretty persistent thoughts. And the thoughts have moved into fantasies. And your saying the idea of a couple of guys getting together sounds appealing...you can see the beauty of another mans body...you can imagine that it might feel good to be with him

At this point we're kind of getting into the territory of, If it walks like duck, and talks like a duck, by God, the sumbitch might be a duck. Now the question for you is..do you like this duck?

Re-read your post as if you were reading something from a total stranger. How does it sound if you can be objective? What would it mean to you if you were Gay? Is that acceptable, is it scarey?

If you wanna knock some thoughts back and forth this is a good place to do that. I sorry I didn't respond sooner, I did read it earlier but just didn't get back to you. When I saw your other post asking for a response I fianally got off my butt, I hope this helps. Theres a lot of guys here who have been on this same road you're traveling, hopefully they'll join in too. Steve

 

I don't know if I can be of help. Human sexuality does not really change over the millenia, but human reaction to it does.


I was lucky to be a young man in the midst of the sexual revolution where everyone accepted just about everything. And I enjoyed sex with men and women back then - openly told everyone that I was bi.

I don't know how sexually liberated you part of the world is. If you are in a big city it should be cool and you will easily identify and be identified as a man who loves men. I would say just don't worry about it. Enjoy the moment and if you get hard with a woman good and if you get hard with a man also good. (Easier if you can do both at the same time, tho I've found people eventually have to pair off one way or another.)

I think what I am saying is "if it feels good - do it," and don't worry about it.

(use condoms - take care)

 

so you are saying pair off one eay another as in wither gay or staright, its just i have being with women, had 7 women, i think i enjoyed it, but my ex the last girlfreind i was with i told her about these thoughts, and seh said to me i am definately gay, and thats for a fact, these thoughts started as something i hated, but over the 5 years on consistent battering in my head, i mean 24/7 thinking about it everyday, i have become to like the thoughts, I THINK, i mean i go on gay porn and see two men at it and its like i want to be on the recieving end. just want to know from a gay mans point of view, so i can maybe understand a bit clearly in my own mind what it is you like about gay porn or men, because i have become facinated by cocks and the way the look, its like i want to suck one all the time. i am terribly sorry about the graphic detail, i just need a little help, i feel like a lost cause at the moment

 

Well, no, I guess not on the pair off idea. Its just that you seem to be saying you've got an overwhelming desire to experience sex with another man. When it gets right down to it, no one can tell you how that will feel for you. As humans we all enjoy the sweetness of sexual union with another. If that contact is man and woman and thats what sings to your soul, then thats whats right for you. If that same song is sung when one man loves another, then thats the right tune for them. Lots of guys do same-sex sexual experiementing in their early teens and later. Obviously, most move on to hetrosexual relationships. Some of us don't, but we've done our experiementing and know what we want. Hell maybe you just need to experiment with someone, find a decent safe guy who is open to having sex with you. Try it and see how it feels for you. Could be you're Bi and will always have a fondness for sexual partners with either sex. Maybe you'll find that sex with a guy is not at all what you thought it might and that will be the end of that. And then, you might find that to love another man is what satisfies you more than anything. Talk will never give you an answer.

 

Yeah, what Yarapario said.

but don't forget the rubbers if you are doing anal.

 

Yeppers! What Shale said: Never go wading without your rubbers.

Thanks Shale, I often forget to say that but it just a bit a reality we gotta live with. Steve

 

its jus guys thta it has being so long me ex has to me iam defo no gay, cause i get hard with her staright away, even wehn she touches me, its juts i have being having these thoughts for like 4 years now, i am just scared to act on them, sorry being out 2nite so my speech on here isnt the best, i hope u can understand where i am coming from cause i feel very alone at the moment

 

HUM? Keyboarding while trashed? Oh well. Man, this shit is like a cancer inside you and its eating your soul. Dicks, being the silly things that they are, often get hard when somebody pays attention to them. So that arguement is worthless, especially if you are bi. Of course you are scared to act on those feeling, thats common enough. But damn man, if you don't do something to figure it out you may find youself drinking more and more...being less and less happy with yourself and still stuck. Get sober and put together a game plan before this consumes any more of your life.
We can't be there for moral support except through the forum. It would be great if you could find a gay/bi support group or counseling service to help you. Maybe even a gay friend who could just reassure you that your feelings are normal.
Not to be crude, although I am...you'd be a lot better off suckin on a dick than a bottle. If I'm entirely inappropriate, my apologies...it's just that you seem to be suffering needlessly at this point. Find some answers. Steve

 

right matey, cheers for all ur help and stuff, ys was pretty drunk last night only due to finishing work late and not being able to go out with my mates. its just i have also gone of women sexually, its like women do anyhthing for me sexually now, in some stages i am finding that women are disgusting sexually, wheeras akll men, are nice and looks nice when they are getting fucked, need answers pal, i thought this was a gay/bi support group anyhow

 

Well, it sounds like the lack of an answer is hurting you and without finding a way to get some of your questions it's gonna keep hurting. Do you know any gay or bi guys you can talk to? Seems to me you may need to do some experimenting to get the answers you're after. It's a damn painful situation you are in, No doubt about that. The thing that would worry me for you is staying stuck...never finding out for sure what or who you want. That'll kill your soul. If you live in some small town or rural area where the chance to experiment is limited, try to get out for a while. I don't want you feeling like people here don't care...its just limited knowing what to say through a keyboard. Life's too short to be stuck in misery, find yourself a way to experiment...safely.

If you could have the kind of online support you wanted, what would it be like? What questions would it answer? We'll give it a try.

 

i am just a lost cause, matey i dont think i am gay because i like women sexually, you know to look at, there pussies, sorry for the graphic. when i use to think about men it use to gross me out, so why are these thoughts nice now, i just dont think i could ever have a relationship with man, but then come 2morow i will be saying yes i cud, then no i wont, its like i am fighting in my brain, my ex thinks i have got HOCD but i dont know cause allmy aniety has gone, and starting to find it okay to look and do,

 

Well heres a thought...drop the label of gay, bi or straight, they don't mean much anyway...if you find someone that you care for, someone that seems like they're so much fun that you'd like to fall in bed with them...then go for it. And if they happen to be male, well, go for it.

I wish ya a lot of luck. Steve

 

just cant stop thinking ov gay sex, all the time, 24/7 hours of the day, i need help i dont know what to do

 

If you want to do it that badly do it,.Try it,noone's stopping you but yourself.There is no judgement in it.Be yourself,stop worrying unneccisarily.Enjoy sexuality that's what it's there for.:rainbow:

 

what do u think guys, from my liitle posts, do u think i am gay or even bi or just curious, i have being with quite a few women, its like the ciuriosty wont leave me alone in my head, i mean when i have watched gay porn i get no disgust from it, its just all i can think about is getting penetarted, no so much the fact of me shagging a guy, like i just wanted to be fucked in my ass, need help, sorry for the graphic details

 

I think you are the only one who can answer the questions you have.

 

Only you have the answers,noone can say what you are but you.There's alot more to a person than just their sexual orientation.Identifing your orientation won't solve everything.Read around on the forums you'll see alot of people going through similiar things.Take your time on your journey,there's no hurry.Be good to yourself.Take it easy.Slow down,it's ok not to know just be yourself anyway.
Joy and Peace,
Feel the Magic...