Help! Am I out of line?

Sexy girlfriend with a nice rear end - all night bowling - guy friend bowling partner complete with bad reputation as a sleaze - total discomfort - (and just to clear things up for the ladies: ) bowling - bending over - only reason teen guys like it so much.
I've been telling her that I'm not saying she can't but basically telling her she can't by expressing my extreme extreme extreme extreme discomfort at her.

Yeah, yeah, I trust her. It's not about that though. It's not fun thinking 'hey, my girlfriend's probably getting checked out by a sleaze bag right now', doesn't give the best feeling on a late friday night.

It's not that I have a problem with guys checking her out, but this is a whole nother ballpark. This is like, private viewing. There should be a fucking quarter machine and a curtain that closes every 15 minutes if it's not fed.

Am I justified? Discuss.

Oh, and a side note. I know she's trying to see it from my point of view, and she's trying to get what I'm saying but her 'mmhm's keep getting that rolling eye tone to them, and I keep feeling like a total asshole. So I really need to figure out if I should, cause I feel like.

 

Oh well...be glad that your girlfriend is hot. Revel in it! Doesn't that make you feel good that a good looking woman is with YOU???

Seriously, if you trust her, let guys gawk...let guys check her out. She's coming back to you...who cares?

 

It's not guys that bother me, it's this particular guy getitng an all night free pass to do so.

 

jealousy will drive her right into his arms ..she'll go willingly to spite you, not cause shes interersted but just cause you freaked out so much ovr something as innocent as bowling

 

yeahh... she's just really not the sort to do that
and it's not quite jealousy, I'm the one getting the tail, it's genuine discomfort, I assure you
bowling is innocent, a young man's eyes are not.

 

Just to clarify--the sleazy guy is her bowling partner? And are they bowling alone or in a group?

 

they are in a group - I'm not sure how big, I know two of the people in the group tend to hold up the the bowling by making out too much
and yes, sleaze ball is bowling partner

 

Are you justified in what? Get over it, it's okay, it's not a big deal, just forget about it... pretend she's playing with her girlfriends.

 

Hmm, there's not even a lot of bending over involved in bowling. It seems like you'd be upset if they were partners in any sort of activity. Would you honestly be more comfortable with the situation if her male bowling partner wasn't this sleazy guy?

 

Yes!

 

I don't think you're out of line in expressing your discomfort, but if you're doing it to the point that you're basically telling her what to do (without technically saying it), like you implied, then I think that is going a little too far. I think you're just going to have to live with it, uncomfortable as it may be.

Are you afraid of him trying to take advantage of her or something?

 

it's... bowling
so she has a sleazy friend. Either she'll realize how scummy he is and cut it off, or she won't. But if you try and fuck up a friendship for her, she ain't gonna be happy with that, to say the least.
expressing discomfort/dislike is fine, but it might be nicer to ask if you can come along than frown about it, y'know? Just... don't go much further than expressing dislike... you don't get to decide who her friends are, for better or worse

 

^ nah, it's not like they are good friends or anything..
I forget how thorough you people are, I don't ask advice here enough, I really need to learn to detail the fuck out of my posts here =P
And nah, I'm certainly not trying to fuck up the friendship, or even tell her not to hang out with him, but this particular activity really bothers me

And to lace and feet, I'm usually a pretty preventive and peaceful guy, but I have some pretty nasty friends, if anyone tried to take advantage of her, they'd certainly never do it again.

I think what bothered me most about it was that I expressed my discomfort in the past, and thought this was all done with (they stopped going because certain members of the group were sick of other members holding up the games by making out too much) and then it came back.
I think I was subconciously feeling hurt that she was thinking of going again even though I am so uncomfortable with the situation. It was more my fault really, for not expressing properly how bad it bothered me. I was trying to not to be the controlling sort've boyfriend.
What I've learned from this experience is if something bothers me, and I can't reason it away or tlak it out with her, not to be afraid to express the extent of my problem with it.


This problem was already fixed last night before anyone poste,d I was just curious as to how the replies would come in - the two or three people that I talked to that agreed with me, really agreed with me strongly, and just the way they said things, made me realize that if I am really so bothered, I am justified to draw a boundary. (Just as if she really really wanted to go, she would be justified in telling me that she's not going to respect it.)

 

It really depends on the person, i was in a similar situation with my x and he told me about this sleazeball and at first i didnt want to believe him i thought he was just being over-protective, and then something happened that completely proved he was a sleaze i always trusted his judgement and respected his wishes after that.

 

duck why arnt you her bowling partner, or dont you like bowling? I had a girl that went bowling everyweek and Im glad she did, I like bowling just not in no leagues or nothing, She quit me anyways and eventually did marry a guy she did bowl with.
no problem. I wasnt really into her families worship of Bush run goverment anyways.. many years ago.

 

You can't sensor your girlfriend to the veiwing public! She's not your property. Be thankful that you have the 'naked veiwng rights' and shut up about it or she'll just think you can't trust her. Also, as much as we all like to be be told we're hot, most women want to be sure there's more to what you see in us than just that. Remember: the more your partner rolls their eyes- the closer you are to the end.

 

ducks saying the lookings cool,, its how long some dick head keeps his perv eyes on your props thats the problem...

 

^ basically.

In the end, she went. Her brother went with her, to keep me from being bothered. Apparently, she barely even talked to the sleaze ball. She wasn't ignoring him or anything; that's just how things went.

 

Most people don't want a sleazoid oggling their partner. It is an ego boost when someone looks at you partner, but not when they are sleazy.

For instance when my husband and I go out I enjoy watching him getting stared at, almost a turn on actually, knowing he is going home with me. The only time it bugs me is when it is some skanky chick. Why? Skanky chicks are not just appreciating the package, but are interested in taking it home (unlike most admirers). Not worried that they could get him to, but it is like something filthy touching fine art.

So, yeah I understand why a sleazoid admiring your gal would not sit right.

 

Thank you for this message, it's nice to know that someone out there understands my position =)