can someone tell me if my poem is good?

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by cycleflip, Apr 14, 2008.

  1. cycleflip

    cycleflip Member

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    i just wrote it in a few minutes....... i had to write it for english class. can yall give me some feedback?

    Sing, little bird,

    Roar like a lion with bother,

    Echoes through the mountain answer,

    The breeze of the wind; louder, bird,

    He sings louder, mouth wide open,

    The notes echoing, begin to sharpen



    Do not whist, young bird,

    The sound is tremendous,

    Sing now, higher, the echoing; stupendous,

    Exhale deeply, for you cannot stop,

    Climb the limb, reach the treetop



    It is here that you must yell, sing for life,

    Raise your voice, imitate fife,

    You’ve reached your apex,

    But mustn’t die down,

    If you do, wait ‘till sundown



    Here’s your chance, bird,

    You sang your song, reposed well,

    Now let it out, leave forth nothing; leave no doubt,

    But the sun is setting, bird, it’s time to stop,

    But the echoing of your voice; will not quell.
     
  2. danyac

    danyac Member

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    I like it!! :)
     
  3. Spiritawakening

    Spiritawakening Member

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    Very beautiful
     
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