A silly boy who loves a girl, a girl who does not love him back.

I met her online, after a few months she wanted to meet me, when we did I had the experience of love at first sight and was smitten instantly. She didn’t stay the night but left with a hug.. I tormented myself over her for 3 months now without ever seeing her again! Even though she is not far she does not want to see me again, yet we chat very often online still. I have the feeling that she likes me back at least a little bit but whenever I bring it up she shuts me down, only to bring my hopes up again, lately in an intensely provocative manner. Tonight she tells me that she does not like me more than a friend because as soon as she met me she knew she didn’t like me in that way. She said I seemed ‘too sweet’. I know this all seems trivial compared to most peoples’ problems, but I am lost as to what to do about my infatuation, this constant longing..



I would appreciate your advice.

 

I think you know what you should do.
Forget about her.

 

She is a challenge thats why wou want her so badly... ive been through a couple of these situations and Aqua Light is correct... forget her and look for a substitute.

 

^ agree

 

yea man you gotta move on

 

I cannot explain how badly I want this girl to love me. If she will never be mine, then I will not ever love again. I am incredibly stubborn, as well as a remarkable disappointment. Is there no hope for me? I feel that I may forfeit myself if my heart were to endure one more rejection. I want to not be living, if my life is empty of her affection.

Sorry if I come off sounding like a douche, i'm a strange person to begin with.

 

meh, i agree with everyone else, forget about her. there are plenty of other fish in the bowl.

 

Well, be thankful you are not in love with her. If you were, you would eventually realize your happiness comes from her happiness and would not be so stubborn about it, although it would take time to heal. Since this only appears to be infatuation, you should be able to get over her much more quickly. Try to go out and meet more girls and get your mind off of her.

 

get over her, if she doesnt love ou then there isnt much point in holding out hope. And it's easy to sound like she's buliding you up when thats what you want to hear.

 

Been down that road a few times my friend....well not online crap but I mean meeting someone, becomign infatuated knowing she doesn't love you back etc

The best remedy?

Go to a party, get drunk out of your mind and fuck a hottie, oh sure you'll probably end up fucking some borderline whore but it will do you good in the long run.

EDIT Oh yeah I'm talking about 17/18 year olds, you're 21 and I presume in the U.S. so you can take advantage of being " of age ".

Thought you were in the States like most members here, still the rule applies, 17/18 year old hotties, if they're just as drunk as you are it's okay.

Basically I'm telling you to go have an easy fuck to get her out of your mind.

Jacking off thinking of her which is what you probably do ( and so do many men ) doesn't help your situation!

 

She's being honest with you and you need to accept that she just want to be friends.

When you chat online you can develop feelings for someone, but sometimes when you meet in person the chemistry just isn't there. I went through the same type of situation, but from her side. Met a great guy online, and talked to him for 6 months before I met him. He was intelectually stimulating, and it turned me on. When I met him I knew the second he walked through the door that I wasn't interested in more than friendship with him. He was good looking, but there was no spark, not even a little one. I am not sure why, but it just wasn't there. Afterwards was uncomfortable because he didn't understand why I didn't want to date him. I felt bad telling him "just friends" but it would have been worse to lead him on. We stopped talking about 3 months later. I still miss him, but am happy he moved on to find what he was looking for.

 

Gives you some insight on how attraction works with women. If they sense you show the least bit of lack of confidence they then decide they don't want you, or they had built up this mental picture of you before you walked in the door and you did not 'fit' what they had expected.

Best advice, if you have been chatting them up online, and you have chemistry with them online, when you do meet in person, make bold moves, walk right up and give them a hug, don't shy away and 'wonder' if they will like you. Its pretty deep stuff to explain but your actions more than your words are what spark attraction.

Just cut her off, stop talking to her. She obviously likes the ego boost by having you wanting to chat with her all the time. Go out there and practice your skills.

 

This is happening to me too. I have a crush on one of my classmates, and i can't stop thinking about her. I like her very much, but i think she doesn't like me back, and that makes me very sad.

 

Thank you for the responses. I'm not too keen on looking for another girl though. I don't want to play the game any better, or play it at all even. What is up with girls who want to be played around with emotionally? I don't get it at all

 

why are people obessed with trying to 'Make' other people like them or want them. You need to recognize its a natural process. I have never understood this. I have a friend that constantly is trying too hard and persuing women that are not interested in him romatically, he gets frustrated all the time and just doesn't understand why... Just because he doesn't understand how attraction works.

You can't ever force someone to like you on a romatic level.

Just go out and meet some other women man!!

 

I feel I will have a hard time with that. I feel like I cannot trust girls to not crush my heart now. I think I would prefer to be alone than with somebody else.

I'm not looking for -a- relationship. I just wanted her as an individual. She was that special to me. So making a game plan to 'get happy and fulfilled' seems out of the question.

The only process that I can imagine to get my mind off of her, would be for some angel of a woman to fall in love with me ALL ON HER OWN, then insist on being with me, while also being as attractive and intelligent as this girl I love. Otherwise I feel I will undoubtedly reject her, because I'm not looking for -any- relationship, I wanted her because she is perfect to me.

What fate is there in this for me?

 

"He who is desireless is found,
The spiritual of the world will sound.
But he who by desire is bound,
Sees the mere shell of things around."

 

one day you will look back on this and laugh your ass off.

 

She just told me, that she was fooling around, with my best friend, around valentine's day. The both knew how I felt, and decided not to tell me about it. She just let me know in a conversation where I asked to know what she didn't like about me.

Somebody please help me.. I thought I was getting better, but the betrayal, the heartache, is unbearable. Why me? why my life? How could I rebuild, my world is shattered…

 

That's not much of a best friend you got there. Fuck that dude for srs.