How many times?

nice!! droppin true knowledge there ty

 

If sex is that important to you and he couldn't care about what you want, and satisfy you, perhaps you should break up. He either does not care or is impotent or is having an affair with someone else during the week and is to tired to do it with you on the weekend.

 

To the OP: Use his body for your pleasure! Don't expect him to satisfy you, as it will probably lead to disappointment. It is never the partners "job" to make sure you have a good time, though many think it is. Trust me, make it a point to please yourself and you won't be dissatisfied with your sex life. Or, keep expecting someone to meet your expectations (however reasonable they may be) and you will continue being unhappy and unfulfilled.

I have had some really crappy partners, but I always enjoyed my sex life. It wasn't because they rocked my world, but because I knew how to rock my own world.

 

again, its hard to use his body for myy pleasure when i touch him and he just tells me no. just returned from a weekend with him and same as usual...didnt want anything. its making me feel like their is something wrong with me that he wont tell me. but i dont know how, whenever he wants it i do whatever he asks and wears whatever he wants me to...so i dont know what is wrong with me.

 

What is wrong with you is that on some level you believe that your boyfriend is the best you can do. There is no reason to stay with someone that you are not sexually compatible with. The relationship will end at some point, be it cheating or breaking up. Why suffer and have your self esteem trashed? What makes him so important to you that you are willing to deny your own wants and needs?

 

before the last 5ish months everything was fine. sex was great and we got along great and he was the best guy i've known. he was there when i really needed rescuing...and im just hoping that everything goes back to normal sometime. im holding on for that. and i love him, above all...even though when it comes to sex he makes me feel unwanted and not worth it...i know relationships have ups and downs but its starting to be more downs than ups.

 

What is in my head is not translating very well, so I hope you understand what I mean....if not please ask...


If you are holding out for things to get better you need to find a way to make your relationship "okay" with you. Since you want sex, and he doesn't you should focus on taking that issue (sex) out of your relationship. Yeah, his sex drive sucks, but yours doesn't. So, take this time in your relationship to really get to know yourself. Instead of asking him for sex, take care of it yourself (masturbation NOT cheating).

I know it seems strange to say "give up wanting to have sex with him" but in your case I think it would help your situation, (and it is not giving it up but putting it aside temporarily). You still want to be with him, but are sexually frustrated, and based on yours posts you have reason to be. Take your frustration out of the relationship if at all possible. We all have to do it at some point, be it for a day, a week, or longer. Those times when our partners just aren't in the mood can be trying. You learn over time to just let it go, because you know that it will return. Don't stress over how he feels about you sexually, buy a vibrator and have fun. Maybe if he sees that you can enjoy sex without him it will stir his interest.

Few things are more draining than your partner thinking you should always be in the mood, or doing the work to get your partner in the mood. Focus on you, and he will either follow or not. Either way you will learn that you can be a sexual person without him and can find your own pleasure. No reason for your self esteem to suffer because he is having a rough patch......

Good luck.

 

thank you for your advice. it helps and i appreciate it.

 

i have another thing on my mind....why can he watch porn all week...but not want me? another thing i do not understand.

 

I think you and your boyfriend need to sit down and have a serious heart to heart, because you really need to. There is a lot more going on than he won't have sex and looks at porn. Talk to each other!

I can give you more of my input, but its not going to really help you any. You need to sit down and openly discuss what is going on with you and your boyfriend. No accusations (You wont screw me! or You watch too much porn!) but open dialogue.

I will make a few points though:

* Watching porn is normal, and many men go through a "cant get enough of it" phase

* Being constantly available to someone sexually can, and often does, create boredom in the bedroom.

* A partner can feel smothered at times and withdraw


Anyway, talk to him.....and good luck

I am not saying it's all your fault, but realize that both of you have your parts in what is happening.