Divorce Horror Story

This is what I believe about property settlements in most cases: If you go into the marriage with the most you will lose the most in the divorce, if you contribute the most during the marriage you will lose the most during the divorce. For Green, I am a woman and it was a bad property settlement. Married later in life, had well established funds, lively hood and property. My now ex had bad credit 2 mortgages etc. after the divorce he had what I used to have and I got what he used to have. You will be pleased to know he even got part of my pension now I get 1100.00 a month and the business we built up he continues to operate and also receives his payment from my pension. Attorney wouldn't argue for anything. So rest assured I have seen it both ways and many times divorce is just a way of redistributing the wealth. His reason for the financial settlement "Because I can and we were married". All depends on which lawyer isn't intimidated mine was worthless. When I complained to attorney she basically said tough ### nothing I could do it was a done deal. Found out later I had 2 years to contest just too late when I found out.

 

Really this is not a men's or women's issue it is a concern for anyone who marries a deadbeat of either sex. Like someone else wrote "if there is a next time I want a financial history report and a psyche evaluation" in addition to a pre-nup. Marriage is a wonderful thing unless you marry the wrong kind of person. It definetly takes two but isn't that the whole point.

 

"Shaniqua"?

 

Why do these things always become a man vs woman debate.

It dosen't matter what gender you are, you can easily screw over the other gender just as well. I've seen it happen both ways. It's not men that are evil and suck, or women that are evil and suck, it's people that are evil and suck.

Sure maybe it's easier for one gender to screw the other one over in one area, but in another area it's the other way around.

I guess I just hate everyone :/

 

Well here's the facts as I know it. I got the $80k house, 100% of my retirement, and the rest of my life (I'm 58 and in very good health)

She left in March 2005 under the guise of going to CA to help my daughter. She had the debit cardAnd was spending money like a drunk sailor. She called my crying on Jan. 19, 2006 for money to come home; which I sent. She returned, but not home in March, 2006; stayed with friends and my youngest son and filed in APril. I paid $1500 a month while she used every excuse to drag it out.

She made off with $6000 of antique furniture, half the furniture in the house and ALL her stuff. She also got a lump sum payout of all of my 401k; $400,000. When she filed we had been married 34 years.

She was afraid of getting old and I was 'old' SHe wanted a younger man . .none of them want her.

And for me; there is no 'next time'

 

sorry to butt in

but what is the title of the picture of the astral goat called its one of the weirdest pictures i've ever seen!! and somehow incredibly clever too!!

 

I used to think it was always the guy who got screwed, having been the victim of a divorce myself, but after speaking with a few women who were on the losing end, I agree it's the spouse who contributes the most that loses the most, at least generally speaking.

My ex left me with the tab for her financial irresponsibility, and to add insult to injury, soaked me for a sizeable chunk beyond what she needed to pay off her debts, after sponging off me the entire time we were together, but the bottom line is she's a miserable bitch who is incapable of being happy, and it was worth the satisfaction of being able to tell her to fuck off. It must've been devastating for her to find out she no longer had any control over me.

I dunno if I'm more pissed at her or myself for not using better judgement, but I sure learned a lot from the experience. I kept my composure, and more importantly, my dignity and self respect despite her lack of those qualities. I did my best to remain civilized, and I gave her what she wanted, and got the settlement completed ASAP, before she had time to reconsider or make things worse. Luckily we didn't have any kids, I shudder to think about what life would've been like if we did, poor kids, with a psycho for a mom, and a court system that would've given her custody.

The bottom line is divorce sucks for everyone involved except the lawyers, who stand to profit the most when things get ugly.

 

Was it worth it? Damn straight! I haven't been this content and at peace with myself in many years.

And yes, I was partly at fault; I spoiled her just as her parents had. I do agree; the attornies; it's just a job.

 

Exactly, 'couldn't've said it better...

 

We were married for five years. I adopted her kids. Got to pay child support when we divorced. The Friend of the Court attorney said the only reason I wanted to see the kids was to annoy my ex, that I couldn't possibly have any real love for them since I was only their adopted dad. The judge granted me visitation, I asked the friend of the court attorney to enforce it, to tell her to let me see the kids, he turned to face her and said "let him see the kids" and then turned to me and said "there, satisfied now?" The system is broken, that is what allows for this kind of crap to go on. The kids are grown now and I don't owe any back child support, I do owe the court over $300.00 in service fees. I will rot in jail before I will pay them one dime for a service I never received. I know theres no justice and that it isnt based on gender. I hired a lawyer to fight against an increase in my support payments. He was late for the hearing and FotC wanted to start without him, he asked me my attorneys name when I told him who it was he said we would wait. My lawyer arrived, and in less than 5min her request was denied. The two lawyers were discussing last weekends round of golf as my ex and I left the room.

 

Oh yea, when I first told my atty who her atty was . . ."Oh, I can work with her'


Yea . . . .right

. . .I had to buy the Vaseline too . . . .