The Aw-shit! Thread

Yesterday evening I was walking across my home with a slice of pizza in my hand, talking to a friend when a load of tomato dropped from the above mentioned slice, hitting that expensive book borrowed from the university library. It was a very small target compared to the size of my flat , nevertheless my pizza slice managed to bomb it with pinpoint accuracy. It could drop *everywhere* but the fate chose that books cover.

While I spend my last days waiting till the day the librarian finally butchers me, come on people and tell us about the most unlucky-spectacular of those stupid annoying accidents which ruined your day.

 

when i was really young like 8 or 9 i was sitting on my brothers sholders and for some reason to hold on i covered his eyes. he tripped and managed to stop himself from hitting the ground with his hands but me being young and dumd i kept holding on to his face with made me go chin first right onto the asphalt. i ended up getting 8 stiches.

 

lol when i ws roughly in your age I happened to fall from the bike i was riding without holding the handlebar because of a couple of pizzas ... a hole in the road made me fall chin forward on the asphalt , but quite luckily the pepperoni-anchovies one somewhat softened the impact so i came home with a mix of blood-tomato-anchovies on my face. yes, my chin needed some sewing. Since then i never cut my beard or attempted to ride with busy hands again. but i happen to ride my yamaha barefoot, which isn't a good idea either.

 

I have an "aw-shit" library story. When I was about 16, I rented like 6 or 7 books from the library and lost them. They ended up calling my mom asking about them, and listing every single book I rented, which included:
PCP, LSD, and Other Hallucinogens
Marihuana, the Forbidden Medicine
Kama Sutra, the Illustrated Guide
... And a bunch of other drug books. I don't know what upset my mom more, the huge fine or my selection of reading materials.

 

Congrats, that's a real top notch shit, lol

 

Aren't the books covered in plastic?

 

no, just plain cardboard covers. they look cheap but are awfully expensive. tomorrow i have to give back the book
btw i copied it whole, if the asshole of the typing shop was there when i needed it then the spoiled copy would have been my own xerox-made one (copyright sucks) and not the original. the shop owner is not only a stupid religious zealot but a lazy one too.

 

i made a rap song and the title is "Aw-shit"
if its in parenthesis, then its another person talking.

Aw-Shit
So you find yourself broke in the club (Aw-shit)
and you got no bottle or no bud (Aw-shit)
all you can do is throw your gat (Aw-shit)
and hope you dont shoot your cat (Aw-shit)

so here i am to tell you what right (Aw-shit)
and i am not a mexican knight (Aw-Shit)
trouble comes and trouble goes (Aw-Shit)
this is my rap.....Shit Shit Shit Aw-Shit.

i hoped u like it

 

AW-SHIT... my head hurts.

 

Aw jeez, that sounds horrifying!

I sure have had my share of mess-ups. Hardly any of them are so lighthearted, so I don't have the gut to recall.

 

yesterday i got ultra paranoid... and then i was like... AW-SHIT..
sometimes, i feel like i know a lot of the RTer's in person.
or a lot of people i know in person are disguised as an RTer and stalking me. lol

i can't figure out if thats just paranoia or if its actually true...
mind fucked: AW-SHIT.....


"duu, duu, duu... i'm on to youuu" - metric, wet blanket.

^ thats just gonna make me sound completely paranoid if it isn't actually true... but on the other hand, if it really is true.... then you know now.. that i know that you know...
(aww-shit..)

 

w0w well put ^.

so tonight i was playing some beer pong but we ehad to play outside and i was like aw-shit. but not untill because there was wind and the balls were not going where we were aiming to. and i was like aw0shit; and but come again. i mean like i was aiming at a cup but mother nature (f that bitch) would send the ball to anothe rr cup. and i wass gettin pissed but now im druck and no1 cousld stop mother nature and all so i smoked a joint and now im alright. i have no idea what i said in this message thigns but i know it shoulld sound freakin cool.

 

And then i caame into the wind with anothe raw=shit and i was like "Mother natture u beetter stop" mand she was like alll like.. "oh no i wont im gunna blow a torando on youru ass" and im like.. guess what.. im like..
Aw-shit.. ha that hte name of thiis thrreasd. and
wow here we go againg. i missed a festivcal this weekend becassue of worlk but i got drunk by plaauyn beer pong and im aa pretty sloshed.

 

Hey i was in shroom land. you sound beatudluifhl and i wish i was shroomingf right now. oh yea. i love mushroomsl. you see. i think mushrooms are the best (not a drug) but drig out there. i lvoe the comeup. and i love the peak. i jhust love them ingeneral. omg im gunna stop posting in thoiss theard becaise o bet people are gunne be pisseed at me. im sorry.

 

aw shit

 

sorry bout those posts. dont really remember them. i guess thats an aw-shit there.

 

lmao... i jsut saw that today...

..weirdo.. lol.

 

haha im sorry. being drunk and seeing mushrooms kinda gets me all wound up i guess. aw-shit

 

time ago i was playing with a jackknife, snapping it open with a flick of the wrist. you know, the kind with a knob on the blade that opens with one hand.
the knife slipped from my hand, and before my horrified eyes flied in a straight trajectory point forward towards the lamp on the wall. cant explain but I saw it moving kind of in slow motion. the knife crushed the bulb and fell thrusting itself deep on the antique chest right beneath the lamp.

many years ago I was on the shore throwing stones in the sea. I picked a flat one, but it got some effect and instead of flying straight it made a hell of a curve and hit my father in the head, right in the temple to be exact. I was aiming W and the stone curved 90° left towards S. he was roughly 100 feet away . the damned thing flew like a frisbee. since i cant hit nothing smaller than the sea with a stone he believed me that it was all an "aw-shit" accident.

Once my mother got into my house while I was rolling a joint with some friends. some of them were so stoned out they didnt realize at all. of course the thing had no consequences since i was in my freaking home.


and now on with the real shit: i'm italian but it's not ended here. at the last elections my party and *all* the left wing was wiped out and we had a massive victory of people who in facts and theory aren't but a bunch of goddamned fascists, racists and TV-owning tycoons. on top of this enormous pile oh feces, a pope who during his youth wore the nazi eagle. what else to say? it's a great time for you in Italy, if you are an asshole. i know , this is OT but i had to tell someone or go nuts.

 

One time i picked up a rock to skip across a lake, and i didnt realize the sharp edge on the rock and i completely cut my pointer finger on my right hand.. the whole thing.. and i was little so i ran home.