Anti-Male Bias all around us.

IMO the only reason to have a good fight is for great make up sex. But a man and a woman who can argue/debate/fight and still keep a relationship intact are rare in my experience. Some one walks out saying the other always has to be right. Being right is never the point, being inside someones head is the point. Really knowing that person.
~ I deleted the comment about the point being at the top of their head.
~Peace

 

MamaC..My man was also an oil field cowboy.. but he was macho without trying.. ya know, just was.. he didn't have anything to prove.. not a tuff guy... strong, rouged, yes.. pushed gangs across texas, his arms were as big around as my thighs..a mamly man.. but he doesn't think he's better then me bc he's stronger or bigger, he can pick me up with one hand, but he would never use that hand against me. But he's perfect so we can't use him as an example or else it would be bragging..I was also raised up in So Cal and agree with you about a lot of the new ager type men being too fem..

I don't believe that the womens equality movement was to put men down, or demasculate them, but to raise women to an equal level in society as women were doing more work outside the home and contributing to the income and wanting more say as to how that income was handled..It was about being a human being of equal value.. it's a no brainer.. one can not exist without the other. So, I don't know what all the fuss is about. I think ppl should do/be what they want, as long as it harms none.

 

yeah, a man who's naturally a badass doesn't have to pretend to be more than they are or push people around to feel bigger. that's what i went looking for and that's what i found.

 

me and dave have such fun. we've actually only ever had one fight in nearly ten years together. mostly we argue about whatever topic comes to mind. it's fun.

 

"You always have to be right."
"You always have to have the last word."
"Logic isn't everything."
"I'm pregnant."


But nah, I think if you establish early on that flouncing is Not Cool, you'll either be able to discuss things heatedly, or not get into the relationship in the first place. I do feel that it's something that women tend to do more than men, but it evens out because who has it done to them usually reads it (IMO correctly) to mean that, even if the other just "won the argument", they still failed at life.

 

The problem, if there is one, is that sometimes for two people to have an equal share, one has to take from the other. It's basically that there are only so many rights and liberties to go around. Men had many liberties that women didn't, which needed to be taken away. It sucks to frame it that way in a thread like this, because it really wasn't their "right" in the first place.

I feel like I'm not making much sense, but I know what I mean. Men had privileges at women's expense which they've talked about in this thread as if they were God-given rights.

 

my mother is the queen of huffy flouncing away after delivering a completely irrational statement that she considers the last word. i REALLY wish sometimes i could do that. i just don't quite have her flair.

 

Well that's the irony of course: "YOU ALWAYS NEED THE LAST WORD" is someone declaring the argument over - not admitting to have lost or won. See also: throwing the board across the room, and yanking the other player's controller out of the XBox.

 

i hate when they do that. that's just mean.

 

It is not 'mans' job to 'give' women certian freedoms, we were born with the same freedoms as men, we don't want to take anything from them, we just are being human and in that we have the same right to live as we please as long as it harms none... we are born free, to do and think for ourselves.. otherwise we would have no intelegence only exisit to raise offspring.. nope.. we don't want your 'spotlight' we want our own, just as bright and just as powerful, of equal value, nothing less will do.

sh

 

Yeah, and I've not been saying one shouldn't strive for that. What I'm saying is that men who are alive today are living at the expense of women largely through the sins of the fathers, as it were. So while you should try and rectify that, be aware that most of them didn't create the system, and aren't necessarily aware of the inequalities of the world. In other words, work on your PR. The fact that women are entitled to these rights doesn't mean it's not worth being civil in getting them back. We none of us can be blamed for the way our parents were raised, after all.

 

Women don't need permission, or men to give them something they already have. Free will and self determination is some thing we are all born with. As my Mother and her many sisters have said over and over " We let you (men) think your incharge because it feeds your ego, but don't take it seriously."

 

Haha. Seriously though, it's true. Most sexism - both anti-male and anti-female -is only as sinister as hegemony, collective habit and culture reinforcing ideology. Even the hardcore Marxists won't argue that hegemony is impossible to resist or overcome; for the rest of us, being aware of our own subconscious behaviour is all it takes.

 

The anti-male bias exists alright.

You see all the time in divorce cases, particularly when it related to child custody issues.
The courts almost always give custody to the mother.

 

The court gives custody to the parent with the best lawyer and the most money.

 

Would the court give custody to the woman alone with no money?

The court would make the man provide alimony to the woman along with providing child support.

There's your anti-male bias.

 

I should have known better, your barking up the wrong tree if your looking for a fight. I am certainly not anti-male. And I am not biased in favor of women. Its a fact that the better lawyer and more money wins ANY arguement in court. I lost all of mine untill I learned that lesson.

 

There was also a time when almost every child custody case was won by the man, even if his abusive behavior was the contributing reason for divorce.

 

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that on balance men are worse parents than women. But either way, I think these things should be decided on individual merit, and I believe that, in most cases, they are. Given the divorce rate, you'd think Fathers For Justice would be a far bigger organisation than it is if men were all so desperate to have joint custody.

 

i know my father only wanted my brother. he was a baseball star and hugely popular.