Recently I have been feeling very depressed because my partner doesn't want to move to the next step in our relationship. I then began to examine my relationship history in general and realized that my feelings towards people seemed more compulsive and manic than I think should be normal. Like I have OCD, but for these people affection. And I think at times I have confused this for love. But I am soon realizing that whatever I am feeling is getting to be extremely unhealthy. When I am away from said person I can't stop thinking about them, I get anxious almost to the point of panicking, I can sometimes even feel my blood pressure rise in my arms and fingers. I pace around my house, mind racing. I am unable to focus on anything at times. At times I feel like I will go through any means to get a response from them. I decided to research this and the closest thing I have found has been dependednt personality disorder. Does anbody have anymore informaion about this? Know anyone who has it? Advice?
my dad had it to a tee. he drove me nuts! he was quite depended on my mother, and she was antisocial personality disorder as all hell too. my brother and sister were both borderline personality disorder, and i'm schozid personality disorder. my brother, sister, and father all committed suicide. i'm quite sure being schozid is what saved me from that same fate. after growing up with all that shit i advoid those types like the plague! dependents are sort of like vampires. they drain you of your engery with their dependency. of course schozids are a type of vampire too. we just don't drain and/or feed off of others, yet we are always aware of the hunger. what we need is love, because we never were loved. in a way, we don't belive love really exist, because we never had any, or it was so very, very, very, little. dependents are really good at making both themselves and others quite sick! my case in point. the great thing about you, is you realize that you have something wrong with you! that takes really, really, great courage and power to face. my father was quite a weak man who live in denial about himself to the very end. i pray that you will seek out a psychologist who can work with you on this. psychologists have the best trainning on dealing with, and treating personality disorders.
