Anti-Male Bias all around us.

Yeah, it kinda makes me wonder how bad the situation actually is. I don't know many guys who are massively motivated towards having children until after they're born.

 

California is a alimony state.. all states do not allow alimony, like in texas, the only way you can get alimony is if your pregnant or seriously ill... so there went your theroy out the window. Are you ppl giving this any thought at all or just making it up as you go along

Most men do not want custody of their kids.. they don't want the hassle.. I have seen it time and time again, with small children.. the man fights for custody and wins, within two yrs the child is back with it's mother bc it's too much trouble for the male to have a party life and take care of kids too, or they get remarried or have a live in and let new wifie raise them.. Plus, the court will not remove a child under two yrs old from it's mother, bc it is not 'healthy' for a baby to be taken off the tit too earily. Unless the mother is unfit to raise a child the child should remain with it's mother untill the child is of age of understanding.

There is a bond between a mother and child, like no other! No, not even the father. The mother is the Vessle..the child is made from the mothers flesh and bone, we grow it inside us and most certainly have a bond even before birth. The child is connected by a cord, to your (women) very depth of being.. men say nay nay, this is not so.. but that is just ego talking/walking. In most forms of life do you see the male rearing the offspring, helping perhaps but not mono.

I'm not saying men do not bond with their children, just that the mother has a stronger connection to the child as it came from her belly. It's like a leg or an arm or her very heart..It's not biased, it is a fact of nature. The best inviroment for a child is with both loving parents.

Bright Blessings
sh

PS.. living proof is not anicdote so dont even try to play that card.
sh

 

...well it is anecdote, but you happen to be right so no matter

But yeah, I do agree to some extent. Seems like most of these men only want their kids around to get one over on the ex-wife. They're more fulfilled by kicking off about the injustice than they are about having to actually deal with your child

 

exactly..Example... my daughter had two daughters, different marriages. On both ocations, when Amy filed for divorce and had temp custody andsent the child for visitation with father.. father called and said.. You'll never see your baby again for divorcing me. Exact same thing happen when she divorced second hubby. She got her babies back.. but why did they want to hurt her like that.. they are the ones that fucked up the marriage. She was a good girl.. may she rest in peace.

sh

 

Whomever stated that mens organisasion the one that helps fathers get cusdoy is way usuless is right.. I made my huuby go to the one in Dallas when he was trying to get custody of his kids... I went with him and was glared at for being there. But what I didn't see was real help. The only thing they offered was to stand by you in court.. not represent, just moral support..now you get a bunch of women together like that and shit gets done..but there is a deffinate lacking of llegal help for men by men.

 

Don't get me wrong, I think that suitability for custody should be decided based on gender. I'm just thinking that, even if that were the case, you'd likely still see more women getting custody than men, simply because women make better parents and are usually more willing to commit to looking after a child. It wouldn't indicate injustice particularly, just demography.

 

yes, I agree to that.

I think that older children should decide for themselves who they would rather live with.. in my hubbys case the boys wanted to live with him and the girls stayed with their mothers. The boys got themselves into lots of trouble while the girls did not. The girls got married and started families.. the boys started making babies without marriage and now pays child support and hardly ever see their kids.

I don't thibk it's biased against men, I think it's their choice.

 

i think a lot of that just goes down to the basic physiological differences between men and women and a bit of the gender roles are really evolutionary in scope. there's nothing wrong with that, nor is it insulting to either sex. however, with anything there are exceptions. many men are known for working longer hours, not just for money, but for satisfaction and drive for success. how that came about it irrelevant to the issue. that doesn't make them bad fathers, it makes them wonderful providers. many mom's tend to be satisfied having enough to take care of their family, and settle into a position of security and flexibility.

i know that if i went out to get a job today, i'd have to get a job where i could get time off for my kids because my husband certainly won't. i'll be in charge of finding sitters when he travels, and if my kids get sick, i'll have to have a job where i can leave and stay home with them. my husband won't. that's my reality. i have children. my mother lost several jobs because she had to do the mommy thing, until my stepfather finally told her, it's not worth it. stay home.

even if dave and i ever had problems, he still wants me to raise his children, not a daycare center. so basically i'm pretty well set here in the home with my babies as my job. it's a great job, though.

 

My children are grown now. When we divorced the court gave her custody. I was granted weekend visitation. The judge automatically ordered a list of requirements for the dad, maintain a job #1, health insurance, pay child support. All reasonable and expected. The job required as a condition of employment that I work a minimum 1 weekend per month. She denied my visitation for every weekend but that one and then complained to the Friend of the Court that I left the kids with a sitter for the weekend. It was only for the hours I had to work, or lose my job. I know you ladies are nothing like that and would not do what she did. Just as not all us dads are like the men you have known. Some of us love our children very much and would give anything to have a healthy relationship. She says those kids are hers and hers alone and never have been or will be mine, because she gave birth and I didn't. Last I checked it took two people to make a baby. Moms and Dads are different, our love is not the same. But don't think for one second it doesn't run as deep, or isn't as intense.
~Peace

 

dave's ex wife used to try to use visitation with their son to get what she wanted. until they had a very frightening and very heated discussion about it. she wanted him to babysit again while she went out. he had plans. she said "you'll never get to visit tyler again." wrong move, sweetheart.

 

My ex stopped using me as a babysitter when she saw how much fun the kids and I were having. I was just glad I got to spend time with them. It wasn't having the effect she wanted.
As a "step" I think you know how much kids can mean to people who aren't even related by blood. But there are birth parents, both genders, who see kids as property and disposable. Its obvious that kids should never be used as a bargaining chip.
They aren't stupid and nothing gets by them, my son, as a teenager, hugged me goodbye and whispered in my ear "I understand". As parents sooner or later we reap what we sow.
But to get back on topic, it wasn't Anti-Male Bias that started the whole thing it was my big stupid mouth that said in court that the Friend of the Court attorney was an ass. You reap what you sow.
~Peace, when it comes to separation of family peace is hard to find.

 

So men aren't really fit to parent children, they lack what's needed to bring up young minds, and they usually don't care for the hassle?

That would be like me saying women are weak and stickly, fragile like glass, and unable to shut the hell up when things can easily be swept away and forgotten.. Mountain out of a mole hill, anyone?

Not to say this is true, but the bias goes both ways.. I happen to know plenty of single fathers that gained custody, and raised their children VERY well.. Sure, there are a lot of cases where it wont work, but I don't think it should be brought down to statistics.. If we judged everyone that way, the world would be a lot more unhappy than it already is.. People are unique, gender does not play a role when it comes to the mind and soul.. I think we need to put "understanding" aside here, and work with the variability of existence and conciousness..

Unfortunately, we don't do that enough, because men AND women are still too stupid to see past a blindfold with their desired world painted on it..

 

there are physical distinctions in the male and female sex. no one rule is absolute. it's a generality. i'm no more likely to get mad at someone saying men are faster and stronger as a general rule than i am to get mad at someone saying women tend to be more geared towards enjoying parenting details. but that doesn't mean that there's a goodly number of women who can run faster than the average man, and men who can't be better parents than their wives or ex wives.