Possibly addicted to adderall, worried about long term effects...

About 4 years ago me and a bunch of my friends tried adderall (a drug used to treat add) for recreational purposes, basically to be able to stay up all night and party. It was a great time and everyone loved it, back then i was kind of shy and this little pill really gave me the personality i've always wanted, all of a sudden i would get WAY more girls at bars, etc. Since then we have all continued to take it on a regular basis.

Some of my friends are out of control with it, to the point where they use it to treat depression, perform better at work, party, socialize, and everything else it can be used for. Some are taking several pills a day and have shown some side effects that they refuse to accept.

Now in my case i have kept it a lot more under control then they did, i never snorted it, never increased the dosage as all my friends did gradually, never took more then 1 pill (30mg is the most i've taken but its usually 15 or 20s) at a time. I don't drink excessively while on it as i know that is extra dangerous but nonetheless the next day my heart beats like a 1000x per/minute for about 6 hours then it goes back to normal.

At this point i take about 2 pills per/week generally fri and sat night and on occasion i take a small dosage of ritalin (similar drug) to help study for big tests.

The side effects i have noticed (and i don't know if all are necessarily associated with it ) is some increase in fatigue, i've wrestled my whole life and in the past couple years i have noticed some decrease in my conditioning. I have no physical urge but there is a mental addiction to take it. I mean i have gone months without it before and was fine but when i do go out it's still in my head that i feel like i would be having a much better time if i was on it. I have a very weird almost suicidal impulse i get only when i drive by myself for a long period of time its like something tells me to crash the car, i have enough common sense not to do it offcourse but a couple times it got bad enough to where i had to pull over on the shoulder to chill out (again not sure if this is caused by the drug but i do not recall having this until a couple years ago.

Now i decided to finally do some research about the long term side effects and from what i've read there're definitely some very serious ones but from what i've seen people reporting them have been taking around 30mg 2x per/day now i am no where near that and i do have enough control to where i don't feel i will ever get there, again i never increased the dosage in the 4 years i've been taking it. With that said i do have some concerns after what i have read.

So anyone who has had experience with this or knows something about it please give me some advice on what this type of usage can cause later in life.

 

i believe the suicidal thoughts and all are attributable to it and not just increasing the dose but the on and off up n down chaos u throw your chemistry into by noit maintasining a steady theruepuedic dose can be just as bad as increasing the dose
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just stiop

u may experience withdraw u may not if u do, take 1/2 what u took 2 weeks then 1/2 tyhsat 2 more then stop
monitor the withdraw if u have 1 and if symptoms get bad see a dr

 

i don't have anything against minor recreational use on saturday nights as long as it doesn't carry serious long term effects so i don't need to be told to hit up rehab asap common
i was looking for some good info on what this slight usage can do
for example if you smoke pot once a month you can still be just as productive and not kill your liver but if you smoke 3x/day you will become slow, lazy, and damage your liver .. same goes for cigs, alcohol, etc i just want to know what the small dosage i take can do...

 

Well generally there is nothing wrong with recreational use on weekends, but I guess after four years you could notice some side effects, although not as bad as they could be compared to people who use it almost daily for four years like your friends.

But since you say you may be experiencing side effects, I would advise you to slow down and/or even quit for a while (atleast a couple of months) so you could regain your health. But as long as you limit yourself to weekend use only, it shouldnt be that bad. And if you decide to quit for a while and you start feeling depressed or withdrawaling, I recommend a little bit of the miracle plant to help you out. Just smoke some weed and you should be fine.

 

That mental craving you're experiencing is exactly what amphetamines do: they're not physically addictive in the least, but the rush, weight loss, energy, confidence, and focus they give makes a person's normal state of being seem "dull", "slowed down", and in general pretty boring...the exact definition of depression. Therein lies the danger of uppers. Coke is the same way.

I'd try taking a month-long break and just focus on detoxing, nutrition, exercise, and getting enough rest. It'll suck at first, but if you throw yourself headlong into the health/recovery thing by researching herbs and vitamins and relaxation techniques, reading up on meditation, yoga, and the like, and trying out new health foods, you'll get so absorbed that by the end of the month you'll feel less need to do drugs. Then you can decide whether and how often to do Adderall. Just commit to one month--you owe yourself that much. Think of it as a spiritual journey or the start of something positive.

And props to you for being a responsible drug user, as it sounds like you are. I too only use drugs in small amounts because I value my health, career, relationships and mental faculties. Do some more research on amphetamines like Adderall and ways to offset their side effects. That way you can be as informed as possible. Good luck!